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Several heartbeats pass before the sexual haze clouding her eyes clears. “Why did you stop?”
Does she have any idea what that question does to me? How it forces my control to the breaking point? If I had my way, I’d take her like a fucking animal. I want to bury my cock so deep inside her that I have no idea where she begins, and I end. But I can’t do that.
Demi means too much to me.
She always has.
My fingers tunnel through her hair until I’m able to cup the sides of her head. I wait until her gaze fastens onto mine, and I have her complete attention. “When I have you, it won’t be a quick fuck in some damn pool. It’ll be long and slow and perfect.”
Her dark eyes turn smoky with need.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be exactly like that.” It’s important that Demi understands what she’s getting herself into. It can’t be an impulsive decision that means nothing. An itch that needs to be scratched. “You have to know that once I have you, you’ll be mine, and I won’t let you go anytime soon.” I pause for a beat, allowing everything I’ve said to sink in. Carefully, I search her eyes. “Do you understand?”
She jerks her head.
The tightly coiled tension sitting in the pit of my gut gradually dissipates. “Good. I want to take my time with this. With you.”
She releases a steady breath as her shoulders loosen. “Okay.”
Now that we’re both on the same page, I drag her body closer until her breasts are pressed against my chest. It takes a moment for her muscles to relax. With a deliberateness that belies the harsh need running rampant through me, I trail my fingers up and down the length of her spine, and for the first time in my life, I realize what contentment feels like. It’s both strange and unexpected.
Foreign in nature.
There have only been a few times I’ve experienced it. The first was when Coach came into my life and took me under his wing. The second was when I realized that my dreams of playing in the NFL were more than a pipe dream like my old man had beat into my head. And the third was when my father pleaded guilty and was sent away. Hands down, that was the best fucking day of my life because it meant that Mom and I didn’t have to deal with him or his constant bullshit any longer. He wouldn’t be coming home drunk at two in the morning, knocking Mom around, and stealing her hard-earned cash. Other than booze, I have no idea what he spent her rent and food money on, but I have my suspicions.
“Rowan?”
It’s a relief when Demi’s husky voice pulls me out of those unpleasant thoughts.
“Yeah?” My past is ugly and dark. I don’t want it to ever touch Demi. She’s everything that is light and happy. Maybe that’s why I’ve always been so attracted to her. She’s the opposite of everything I grew up with. She’s like the vibrant store window I had my face smashed against as a kid. Always looking in from the outside. Not quite good enough. Always dirty and hungry and left wanting.
A groan slides from me when her teeth sink into her lower lip. I’m so fucking tempted to nip the plump flesh and suck the fullness into my mouth. With her topless in my arms, I want to rewind our conversation and tell her that I have no intention of taking this relationship at a leisurely pace. I want fast. I want to delve in headfirst and take it all. I’m like a kid in a candy store who intends to gorge himself on all the sweetness laid out before him.
“Were you serious last night?” she whispers.
Those thoughts buzz around in my brain, making it difficult to focus. “Hmmm?”
When she remains silent, I force my gaze to hers and realize there’s a deep flush staining her cheeks.
Some of the sexual haze clouding my better judgment evaporates. “Serious about what?”
Her gaze darts away.
“Don’t do that,” I growl. No longer will I allow her to hide from me or what’s unfolding between us.
Her wide gaze snaps to mine before she blurts, “Were you serious when you said that you’ve liked me for years?”
My hands tighten around the sides of her head. “Don’t you understand?” A second or two tick by. “Where you’re concerned, I’m as serious as a fucking heart attack.”
She gulps. “And I’m the reason you’ve held off on sex?”
I draw her closer, resting my forehead against hers. “Since the moment you came into my life, you’ve been my reason for everything.” Not once do I break eye contact. “Does that freak you out?”
She remains silent for a long stretch of time, and I panic. Fuck...I probably shouldn’t have dumped all that on her last night. It was too much, too soon. Unfortunately, there’s no way to back-peddle. For some stupid reason, I decided it was a good idea to be honest and totally strip myself bare.
