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I need to see you. I’m desperate.
I’ve never seen him off school grounds, but I don’t know who else to turn to. My friends are fake, Knight and Vaughn will give me the third degree, dragging Dad into this will only put more strain on his relationship with Mel, and Bailey is amazing, but she is too young and too sweet to understand all those dark feelings swirling inside me.
Tomorrow.
I can’t wait until tomorrow.
He types. You made me wait long enough the past couple of weeks. Tomorrow.
My head falls against my pillows, and I close my eyes, sighing. Shit. I was in la-la land, all-consumed with everything Penn Scully, and was able to dodge Principal Prichard’s many advances. He knew better than to hunt me down in a way that would be too obvious.
When I hear my door pushed open, I’m expecting Melody or Dad. Maybe Bailey with her naïve Hallmark words of wisdom. But Penn stands in my doorway with his elbow braced against the doorframe. His white V-neck rides up and shows off his incredible V, leading like an arrow to his groin.
“Are you going to ignore me for the rest of your life?”
I blink at the ceiling, desperate not to let my traitorous eyes slip to his face. I’m already suffering from PPSD. Post-Penn Scully Disorder. “That’s the plan.”
“Always knew you were a pussy. Nice to get valid proof.”
Eat shit, Scully. I’ll give you a second serving, too.
“I thought we established I had a pussy the other day.”
“There she is. Hideous little sarcastic monster that you are.”
“Why are you here, hood rat?” I huff.
“To talk it out.” He steps into my room and closes the door behind him. I glance at him, just to make sure I didn’t imagine the click. A smile kisses my scowling lips.
“My dad is going to kill you if he finds out you closed the door.”
“Best of luck to your dad trying to catch my ass,” he shoots back, unblinking. I right myself and press my back against the headboard. I allow myself an ounce of optimism. Maybe he cares.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Via?”
“Didn’t know.”
He is still standing all the way across the room, and I don’t know if I’m grateful for the space or want him to drown me in a suffocating hug that would steal my breath and give me life all at the same time.
“You expect me to believe that?”
“What you do with this information is up to you. I had no idea Via was coming back. Your mom mentioned she was trying to find her a few times, but honestly, she didn’t appear too optimistic, either.”
“Well, thanks for deflowering me, then ignoring me while you figured the situation out.”
“You’re welcome,” he says, then looks away at my door, blinking. He lets out a ragged breath, moving his fingers through his hair.
“Look, it’s all pretty fucked up. Emotions are running high. I wanted to take a step back and figure shit out.”
“And did you?” The dark chuckle I’m producing actually tastes bitter in my throat.
“Not by a long shot.”
I break, tears falling across my cheeks. I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my pale pink cardigan. Penn makes his way to me, jerking me up to my feet and wrapping his arms around me. I drown in him. In his touch. In his body. In his soul.
“Marx, Penn. I thought you were using me.”
“Whoa.” He pretends to pull away for a fraction of a second. “Who said that I’m not?”
I nuzzle my nose into the hole in his shirt where his heart is and laugh.
He takes a step back so he can cup my cheeks. Our eyes meet, and my heart accelerates.
“I’m not even sure how I feel about her being here. It’s like being born with a limp and given a second pair of legs. Supposed to feel good but it’s an actual shitshow. I already learned how to live without, you know?”
I know.
I want so badly to tell him that she is just pretending to be good and nice.
That she threatened to take everything away from me earlier today. The words burn on my tongue, begging to come out. A few months ago, I’d have spilled it all out without batting an eyelash. But I’ve seen all the damage it has caused Penn to be alone. I can’t do this to him. I can’t ruin his chance at reconnecting with his sister, no matter how much I despise her.
“I know.” I pull him back into our hug because I miss him already. I miss him even when he’s here. There’s not enough of him to satisfy me, and maybe I’m dragging my feet about college because life post-Penn doesn’t even register right now. “Give it time. It’ll get better.”
And just like that, muscle memory kicks in. My lips find his, and we are kissing. Deep and long and passionate. He groans into my mouth and takes my face in his rough hands, backing us both up to the bed. My knees hit the bed frame, and we both dive onto the mattress, breathless chuckles escaping our lungs. He is straddling me, kissing my neck and chin.
