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“I get it. Trust me,” he said, straightening to his full height. “That’s a whole other can of worms. But we’re talking about your career, Grant. Flying. And if you don’t want to do this anymore, then you don’t have to. That’s your decision, and you’re the only one who can make it.”
I slowly pushed back from the table and got to my feet, Solo’s words playing on repeat in my head. As I stood there toe to toe with the man I’d first considered my competition, it was mind-blowing to reconcile him now as my lifeline.
Solo had been there through one of the most traumatic moments of my life, and as I stood there now, open and vulnerable, I realized he was there through one of my most monumental—self-discovery.
Most people came to NAFTA to prove they were the best in the world at a job only a handful of people could do. The problem was, now that I knew, I no longer wanted it.
32 Solo
AS I SEARCHED Panther’s eyes, I could see the indecision swirling there and wished like hell I knew what to say, but I was too surprised to come up with much. Maybe I should’ve seen the writing on the wall, what with the way Panther had people-pleased his way through life—especially when it came to his father. I knew firsthand how something traumatic had a way of making you one-eighty and think about what you really wanted. Or, in my case, it made you put up walls no one could blast through while proving to everyone you gave no fucks.
“Sorry, I know I’m all over the place—”
“Don’t be sorry.” I squeezed his hands. “Be honest. You can talk to me.”
Panther bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. “I know I can. I…” When he trailed off and looked down, I brought our joined hands up to lift his chin.
“You what?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do—”
“Fuck what you’re supposed to do. Do what you want to do.”
“You gonna let me finish?”
“There was more?” When he nodded, I pretended to zip my lips.
“I may not know what I’m supposed to do,” he said, “but I know how these past few weeks being here with you have made me feel.”
I swallowed, stunned at the vulnerability in his voice. And, because I didn’t know where he was going with this, I said, “Frustrated? Murderous? Ready to snuff me out by smothering me with a pillow in my sleep?”
“Yes. All of those things. Daily.”
“Well, I guess I appreciate you keeping me alive, then.”
Panther gave me a small smile and looked down at our entwined hands. “You’re a nightmare sometimes. You really are. And I know that’s what you want everyone to think of you because it makes it easier to not get hurt. I get that. But just so you know, I really like the guy behind the mask. And sometimes, I think he likes me too.”
My heart began to race at the quiet emotion rising between us, but maybe it had always been there. After all, I’d been drawn to Panther the first time I saw him, and even after finding out who he was, I’d still pursued him. In my mind, it had always been for a good fuck, but somewhere over the course of our time together it had changed. God, when had it changed? When I watched him bail out of his jet and thought I’d lost him? Or had it been some time before that?
Fuck, why couldn’t I breathe all of a sudden? Was it because it was becoming more obvious with every second together that we’d moved over the line of friendship and casual sex into something more? Only…we couldn’t have more. Not when our time at NAFTA was drawing closer to an end.
With my heart still hammering, I tried to push down my feelings and resorted to what I always did when it all felt like too much. “He thinks you’re okay.”
“Okay?” Panther stepped in even closer, his front flush against mine, and then he wrapped our arms behind my back. “I think it’s a little more than just okay, but it’s fine if you want to show me instead of tell me. I’ll believe you.”
Show him? Yeah…I could do that. Hell, that’s what I was good at. I moved up to my toes and placed my lips to his jaw. “If you want me to show you, I’m gonna need my hands back.”
Panther angled his head so our lips brushed, then I felt the hands around my wrists release, and he took a step back. Before he got too far, however, I reached for Panther’s forearm and halted him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” As I drew him to me, I walked us backward, my mission clear. I was going to put into action the words I couldn’t yet say.
