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Resting my elbows on my knees, I dropped my head in my hands and sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was get ready for the Navy Ball tonight, but we’d all been reminded once again that our presence wasn’t just requested—it was required. It was the one night of the year where every current and former member of the Navy in Southern California made an appearance, and skipping out on the occasion wasn’t an option unless you wanted to risk the penalty of expulsion. As much as I thrived on breaking the rules, even I didn’t much care to go that far.
Which meant I’d wear the dress whites hanging in my closet and I’d walk into the convention center on my own. Without a date. Without Panther.
Even though we’d both agreed that going separately was the best option, it still felt wrong. Not as wrong as walking the receiving line with a random date on my arm for the convenience of no one asking questions, but that wasn’t gonna happen either. At least I knew that if I couldn’t be with Panther tonight, no one could, which settled my irritation somewhat.
Steam began to filter out from the closed shower curtain, fogging up the mirror. I reached for the knob again, bumping it a little to the left so my skin wouldn’t melt, and then stood up and peeled my clothes off.
Next door, Panther would be doing the same, and I wished for the hundredth time that we had an adjoining door so I could sneak inside and we could get ready together. It’d been a busy day on base, though, and neither of us wanted to risk walking out of the other’s room with wet hair and a guilty expression.
Guilty. Why the fuck should we feel guilty? We weren’t doing anything wrong. So why did it feel that way right now?
As I stepped into the shower, the hot water instantly eased the tension in my muscles, and I let out a long exhale. It’s just one night. It’s not a big deal. God, if I couldn’t make it one night without Panther beside me, how the hell would I make it when we had to go our separate way in a few short weeks?
The thought made my already anxious stomach turn. We’d never discussed what would happen after we left NAFTA. There’d been no reason to, not when things were supposed to be casual, fun…hot. That was all it was ever supposed to be. All I’d really wanted when I laid eyes on him.
But that wasn’t the case anymore. I couldn’t deny it to myself even if I tried. The thought of being half a world away from Panther made me physically ill, and I hadn’t even admitted that truth to him. Panther wasn’t stupid. He knew I cared, but I didn’t think he knew how much, and if I told him, would it change anything? Did he remotely feel the same way?
“Fuck.” I scrubbed at my body with vicious strokes, as if that would rid the way I felt like I was crawling out of my skin.
How had this even happened? When did it happen? I’d been so good for so long at keeping myself at a distance from everyone that I hadn’t even noticed that I was falling for Panther. It was his fault. He’d made it too easy. He was simply too beautiful and too good, and how did you stop your heart from falling all over someone like that?
I braced my hands on the wall and dropped my head under the spray, letting the water run over me until it ran cold. I didn’t know or care how long I’d been in there, twenty minutes or two hours. It didn’t matter.
I grabbed a towel from the rack, dried myself off, and then wrapped it around my waist. In the other room, I could hear my phone pinging, someone sending me text after text, and I headed out of the bathroom to grab it.
Panther: Do we have to do this?
Panther: We could go to the cliffs instead.
Panther: Or we could stay here. No one will be around…
Panther: Fine. I’m showered.
Panther: Houdini said the limo will be here in an hour. You sure you don’t want to ride together?
Panther: I bet you look sexy as hell in your whites.
Panther: I’ll try not to stare too much, but no promises.
Panther: Your shower has been on for 30 minutes. Did you pass out in there?
Panther: If you don’t answer in five, I’m breaking down your door.
I chuckled as I read through the messages and then sent one back.
Solo: Damn, P. Sounds like you miss me.
Panther: Not a bit.
Solo: Liar. Wanna see me without my dress whites? I’m still naked.
Panther: Fuck. You.
Solo: That’s the idea.
Panther: ………
Grinning, I tossed the phone on the bed and got rid of the towel. While Panther would be riding with Houdini, Whiplash, and half of the trainees, I’d decided to go in the other limo with Gucci and the other half. It would be too much temptation to ride with Panther, and I needed to get this night over without him in my face to show me what I couldn’t have.
