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Do the right thing.
What in God’s name was the right thing?
18 Panther
SHOWERED, SHAVED, AND fully dressed, I looked at the clock and watched the seconds tick by. Ten minutes my ass. That had come and gone nearly five minutes ago. As I sat there in my silent room, I realized just how much I’d grown accustomed to having Solo there.
Not that I didn’t appreciate my alone time. But I was starting to discover I only enjoyed that when I knew the next time and date I would again meet up with Solo.
Damn, I was in deep. So deep that I was greedily making plans for the two of us at every opportunity, knowing that our time here, this close to one another, was quickly drawing to an end. I tried not to think about it too much, though, always pushing it off into the background whenever we were together. But when I was alone, with nothing but my thoughts and time ticking away, I found myself staring at the clock and hating the handful of minutes we weren’t together. That was time we could never get back.
The turning of my door handle drew my attention away from my diligent timekeeping. When Solo pushed inside with a case of beer on his shoulder and a brown grocery bag in his hand, I was on my feet and over to him before he took two steps.
“Here, lemme get that.” I took the beer from him and put it down by the door. “Ten minutes my ass.”
I’d expected some kind of sexual comeback from the man I’d had to kick out of my shower earlier. But the silence that followed Solo into my room made me turn on him with a frown.
“Hello, earth to Solo…”
Solo placed the bag on the table, and when he turned to face me, I noticed a distinct shift in his demeanor. Gone was the relaxed stance, the cocksure attitude, and in its place was a tightly wound version of himself.
“You get everything we need?” I said, hoping to coax some kind of reaction from him.
“Yeah, everything’s in there. I’m gonna go get dressed before we go.”
Okay, what the fuck happened at that grocery store?
He headed back in my direction as though he were about to leave, but I stepped into his path and put a hand on his chest.
“Hey. What’s going on with you?”
With his Aviators on, it was difficult to see his eyes, but the tight line of his lips was easy enough to read. Whatever had happened between the time he’d left and now was something he didn’t want to talk about.
What the hell was going on?
“Nothing. I just need to go and get ready, and my clothes are next door.”
I narrowed my eyes and wondered if maybe the phone call he’d gotten as he left my room had something to do with his foul mood, because I didn’t think a trip up and down the aisle of the local Quick Mart was enough to put him into such a funk.
When it was clear he wasn’t going to say more than that, I stepped aside to let him pass, but just as he reached for the door, I put a hand on his arm.
“I don’t know what’s going on here, or what happened between you leaving and coming back—”
“Nothing’s going on.”
I arched an eyebrow and just kept going, because he was smart enough to know I wasn’t buying that bullshit answer. “Okay. But if there is something, you can talk to me about it.”
“I know. But there’s nothing. I’ve just got to go get ready.”
I stared Solo down, he held my gaze, and I wondered if maybe he just needed some space. Just because I wanted to spend every minute with him didn’t mean he felt the same. Maybe he was feeling suffocated, overwhelmed? If he needed a second without me in it, I needed to step aside and give it to him.
I let go of his arm, and as he turned the handle, I felt something in my gut twist. It felt as though he was…pulling away from me. But why?
Here I’d been sitting and wishing for his speedy return, only to find Solo was feeling the exact opposite.
“Hey,” I said before he disappeared out my door. “You still want to go to the party together later, right?”
Jesus, now I sounded like an insecure shit. But that was exactly how I felt.
“Yeah, of course.” Solo nodded and pulled the door open. “I just need to get ready.”
Right…
Solo stepped out and headed toward his room, and I watched him go. He didn’t look back as he unlocked his door and stepped inside.
I shut my door then leaned against it and stared at the groceries he’d put on the table. As the silence engulfed me, the only other sound in the room was the ticking of the clock, reminding me that every second apart was one we’d never get back.
