Poppy rubbed her hands together. “Like I don’t…” She trailed off, her nose scrunching.
“You don’t what?” I prodded.
“I…I don’t know how I’m supposed to act toward her,” she admitted.
I should’ve known this was what held her in a state of near immobility. Poppy, my beautiful Queen and Primal, was so incredibly strong and as endlessly kind as she was brave. But the way she had been brought up as the Maiden had affected how she interacted with people. She had so little experience meeting new people and being allowed to interact with them. And that included Coralena. Even her interactions with Ian became limited. She only had Tawny and Vikter for far too many years.
“Just be who you are,” I said.
The look she gave me said she wasn’t impressed with my answer. “That’s the problem. I don’t know how to be myself with someone like her. Should I treat her as the Queen, or should I be more familiar with her—actually, how does one behave in the presence of the Queen of the Gods? I wish Millicent were here. I think it would be easier if she were.”
I nearly choked on a laugh. Had she spent any time with Millicent? Even five seconds? “I’m not sure that would make things easier.”
“But her being here would at least take the attention off me.”
Biting my lip, I shook my head. Clearly, Poppy underestimated how much attention she garnered.
“What exactly are you worried about?” I asked.
She lifted a shoulder, and a moment passed. “What if she’s upset about my Ascension? And that is why she’s coming.”
While I was right there with her when it came to that concern, I couldn’t let her see that. “I seriously doubt she will be displeased,” I told her—and myself.
“How can you be sure?” she persisted. “Maybe that’s why Millicent isn’t here.”
Good question. “Because how could she be anythingbutpleased to know you?”
“I can think of one good reason,” she stated blandly. “Actually, two or three reasons.”
I knew exactly what she was thinking. “She will not hold Isbeth’s crimes against you.”
“Or the fact that we handed her son over to Isbeth, only to have her plunge a dagger into his heart?” she countered.
“We didn’t know she would do that,” I said, placing my hand over hers and stopping her before she rubbed the skin of her palms raw. “She’ll understand.”
She drew her lower lip between her teeth. “I hope so.”
“None of us knows much about Seraphena—actually, we know very little.” I drew her hands apart and placed one on the bed. “But I can’t imagine she is the type to hold the sins of a parent against the child. And I don’t think she would’ve answered my prayers if that were the case,” I shared.
Her eyes shot to mine. “Your prayers?”
Nodding, I clasped her cheeks. “After we dealt with the thing with Kolis, you fell into an even deeper stasis,” I reminded her. “We didn’t know how long you would remain in it.” My chest felt heavy. The desperation I’d felt was still too real. And the guilt was still there, despite what Poppy had told me. At least it wasn’t as unbearable as it had been. “I was desperate for you to wake up. To return to me. To us. I didn’t know how much more I could take. I was going out of my mind with worry.”
“Cas,” she whispered.
Gods.
Every time she called me Cas was a miracle.
I cleared my throat. “I prayed to her, and she answered. I don’t know how, but I know she did. You woke up not too long after that.” I smiled. It came easier this time. “If she was displeased with you, why would she have answered my prayers?” I took her hand in mine, the one with the imprint. “And if I’m wrong? Then fuck her.”
She blinked, then stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Fuck her? You’re speaking about the Queen of the Gods.”
“And?” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed the golden swirl. “If she holds you responsible for what you had no say in, then she isn’t worth the dirt under a pile of horse shit.”
She just stared at me with wide eyes.
“I’m speaking the truth…” I paused, sensing Kieran nearing the Solar. “Sweetheart.”
