My eyes widened at that.
“Sounds like a fun time,” Casteel remarked.
Seraphena snorted, but her humor quickly vanished. “There’s only one left.” Her voice tightened. “When Kolis stole Eythos’s embers, it caused a…catastrophic shockwave. Many gods were lost. Entombing Kolis had a more minor impact, but there was still one. Nothing comes without a cost.” She saw that Reaver had stopped in front of the door. “Kolis can do somethingsimilar. He can root out someone’s worst fears and insecurities, amplify those emotions, and then make them live through it. It’s an ability unique to a true Primal of Death so they can ensure those sentenced to the Abyss are punished…effectively.”
“Gods,” I muttered. I remembered Kieran mentioning that Attes had said as much, but I was still somewhat horrified by the idea that the ability even existed.
“You may develop something like it.” She glanced at Casteel. “Both of you may. But be wary. Being newly Ascended Primals, you’re both susceptible to such tactics.”
My stomach hollowed. Kolis had done just that while I was in stasis. The memory was still fuzzy around the edges, but that was how he’d gotten inside my head.
Casteel’s jaw tensed. “Any way to not be so susceptible?”
“Unfortunately, not.” A rush of cool, musty air filled the hall as Reaver opened the heavy iron door. “All you can do is be aware of it and fight against it. Block it out.”
“Creating a…mental shield is something I’ve never been that great at,” I said.
“Actually, you have been doing it,” Casteel said as I followed Seraphena into the stairwell.
“I have?”
“Yeah. I figured you weren’t exactly aware of it.”
“I had a hard time with that myself,” Seraphena shared. “I honestly didn’t realize I was even doing it until Ash pointed it out to me. It took a long time for me to realize that it was tied to the essence inside me. I had to will the shields instead of picturing them.” She looked over her shoulder as Casteel closed the door behind us. “You should try that.”
“I will,” I murmured, thinking it sounded too simple. But if I was doing it without knowing it, then it probably was just that easy. If there were any moments when I was myself while underKolis’s influence, then I must have put up shields to push him out, at least temporarily.
“Have you been here before?” Seraphena asked.
“No—well, I mean, not before the last time. Though it’s possible I was here as a child before I was sent to Masadonia and don’t remember.”
“How…?” Ducking her head, she tucked several strands of hair behind her ear. “How was your childhood?”
“It was…. It wasn’t bad.”
“Is that the truth?” she pressed.
I could feel Casteel’s stare drilling into the back of my head. “Yes. I mean, it could’ve been worse. I don’t remember much before my mo—before Coralena and Leopold tried to take me away. After, I was…” Seeing Seraphena’s shoulders stiffen, I pressed my lips together and winced when I scraped them with my fangs. I wasn’t sure how honest I should be. Suddenly, Seraphena’s pace slowed.
“Watch out for the last step,” Reaver advised as he had the last time, then disappeared around the bend. “It’s steep.”
I felt Casteel’s hand on my lower back. “I’d been injured, and that time is kind of a blur, but I was taken care of.”
“By Isbeth?” Seraphena asked as we entered a shorter hall that widened out.
“Yes.”
She slowed so that I walked beside her. “Were you happy? As a child?”
Gods, that was a hard question to answer. “I don’t know,” I admitted, laughing awkwardly. “I was taken care of, and I had my brother—” I stopped when Seraphena halted mid-step. “I mean, Ian,” I clarified.
“He will always be your brother,” Seraphena said, walking once more.
Yes. He would.
I breathed through the pain that always accompanied thoughts of him. A heartbeat later, I felt Casteel’s fingers curling around mine. “How did you know about Ian?”
She didn’t answer immediately. “Vikter.”
