I shared with him how I’d told them I thought their idea of balance made no sense. “I called them out on how they’ve stood by and done nothing when things clearly weren’t balanced, and the conversation sort of escalated from there.”
“How so?” There was no amusement in his tone then.
“I realized that the reason they didn’t want to intervene was because they were weaker than the Ancients who were Awakening. I called them cowards, and Lirian didn’t take it well.He started running his mouth.” I took a drink. “He brought up how others had tried and failed to, well…you know.”
“No.” His tone was flat. “I don’t.”
I took a deep breath and braced myself. “To kill me.”
Casteel remained quiet.
That wasn’t the reaction I’d expected. I glanced at him. His jaw was set, and the glow of eather behind his pupils was vivid. “He said even Millicent wanted me dead.”
A muscle in his jaw throbbed. “What else did he say?” he asked.
“Well, at that point, I kind of swung on him, and he responded by basically freezing me. He ran his mouth a little more, and that’s about when I promised that I would find out how many of them could die before the realms unraveled.”
“You plan on carrying through on that?” he asked after a moment.
I looked at him. “I do.”
“Good.” The smile that graced his lips was vicious. “Because if you didn’t, I would.”
The corners of my lips tipped up. “Well, let’s hope they can afford at least one of them dying.”
Casteel nodded curtly, took a drink, then pulled his lower lip between his teeth. When his gaze returned to mine, the eather in his eyes had calmed. “I want to know how you’re really handling everything.”
The muscles in my neck tensed.
“You need to talk about it,” he pressed.
I wasn’t surewhatI needed, but I knew it wasn’t that. Because I had a feeling if I thought about what he wanted me to talk about, my mind would go to howhewas handling the news. Whether it changed things for him—just a little. Because how could it not? My stomach twisted. Of all the things I should be worried about, that should be at the bottom of the list. I knewthat, but it was important to me. Because he was. “There’s really not much to say,” I said, my gaze flicking to the table. “Besides, there’s something more important we need to discuss.”
“Doubtful,” he murmured.
“You told me to ask you later why you care about your life,” I reminded him. “It’s later.”
Seconds ticked by in silence. I peeked at him.
Our eyes met, and I felt like I could fall into the pools of amber.
Then he said one word.
“You.”
My lips parted on a sharp inhale.
“It was meeting you,” he continued, my heart picking up speed, thumping heavily. He took a drink. “You know how you said you started to live when you met me? It was the same for me. I was merely existing for so long, driven only by vengeance.”
“Cas,” I whispered, twisting toward him.
His inhale was swift, and his eyes slowly closed, thick lashes fanning his skin. Lowering the hand holding his glass to his thigh, he swallowed. “What I felt for you made me care about myself again. Care about life.”
Tears clogged my throat as I stared at him. “I might…cry.”
Casteel’s eyes opened, and his gaze swung to mine. “I didn’t tell you that to make you cry.”
“I know, but it’s…”Sweetwasn’t a powerful enough word. I blinked back the tears and set my glass on the floor. Moving closer, I touched his cheek. “I love you.”
