His sigh was impressively loud. “Talk to me.”
I set the glass on the table and walked to the map of Solis as I searched for something to say that had nothing to do with what he wanted. Luckily, I found it. “Aren’t we supposed to meet with your brother?”
“We will.”
“We should do that now.” I kept my gaze on the map. “And seriously consider having a public address to assure the people they are safe and talk about the things that are happening in the realm. You know, like the sun.”
“We will discuss that once we talk.”
“We are talking.”
“Not about what we should.”
“No.” I ran my fingers over the hilt of the steel dagger holding down one edge of the map. “We disagree on what we need to discuss.”
“That doesn’t change that we need to talk about it.”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t pretend you’re actually invested in that map, Poppy.”
My jaw ached from how tightly I clenched it. I closed my eyes. A small section of my thoughts was operating somewhat logically. Ihadbeen through a lot. And I did have manythingsdropped on me.StuffI didn’t think I could truly process even ifgiven a lifetime to do so. Casteel was concerned. He was being gentle and caring. Thoughtful.Loving. My brain told me all that. But my heart…
It went in a totally different direction as it dropped to my toes. And when it did, it woke up the other part of my brain—the bit that couldn’t believe someone likehimwanted someone likeme. Except it wasn’t the old insecurities about my scars or how I didn’t have the willowy beauty coveted by the Ascended. I knew he wanted me. I had just felt how much.
This was a newer, deeper fear. And it didn’t matter that I knew I was being a little ridiculous—it was fueled by not wanting to think about all that stuff.
I cleared my throat. “We should head back.”
“Not until we talk,” he countered.
Irritation joined the frustration, rising sharply as I opened my eyes. “You want to talk?” I faced him. “How about we talk about what’s up with you and Kieran?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s not important right now.”
“So thereissomething.”
“For fuck’s sake, Poppy.” Frustration flared through him. “That’s not what I said.”
“Fine,” I bit out.
A moment passed. “Why don’t you trust me with how you’re feeling?”
I stared at him for a moment, thinking I hadn’t heard him right. But I had. “What do you mean? Not wanting to talk about all that shit has nothing to do with you.”
His jaw flexed. “It sure seemed like it did a few minutes ago.”
Inhaling sharply, I smoothed my hands down my sides. He was right. Itdidhave something to do with him. “Let me rephrase. It has nothing to do with me trusting you.”
Casteel said nothing for a long moment, then cursed. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you probably shouldn’t have,” I agreed. “We need to return. There are too many important things we need to be doing.”
He lifted his gaze to mine. “Nothing is more important than what we’re doing—or attempting to do—right now.”
