~Earl Douglass
SUNDAY, JUNE2, 1878 • CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
The large stack of letters in Joshua Ziegler’s hand were a reminder of his failings.
Failure to communicate with the woman he’d loved his whole life.
Failure to apologize for his blundering tongue.
Failure to rectify the situation and set things right.
Failure upon failure.
And now? He stood by his bed with a twine-tied stack of over one hundred twenty letters. Missives he’d been too apprehensive to mail over the past three years. What a fool he’d been!
On a whim, he tossed the packet into his small traveling trunk and slammed the lid closed. His train west left in an hour, and hewouldbe on it.
With the packet.
Joshua left the small room he rented from Mrs. Greene near the university, his trunk in tow. He plopped his felt bowler hat onto his head. Back home, he wouldn’t have need of such a thing, but as Professor Wright impressed upon him time and again, it was imperative that “he dress neat and clean for his patients.”
Unwilling to spend the coin it would take to hire a cabby, Joshua walked the long way to the station, sweating in his summer suit and hat. Probably not the best idea but it was too late at this point. The Chicago summer was so different from his home back in Wyoming Territory.
Here, it was humid, sticky, sweltering. Whereas back home, it was hot but dry. Drier than old bones as his dad would say. Amazing how much heat a person could handle without humidity.
It had been one of an abundance of changes Joshua had to get used to.
It was worth it though, right? For the sake of his education? As long as he could remember, he’d wanted to be a doctor. But his family didn’t have money for university. So he’d trained under the doc back in Green River for several years while still helping his family ranch.
Everything changed the day he received word from the university in Chicago that a benefactor had applied on Joshua’s behalf and would pay all of his expenses. There were strict adherences to the terms that he had to agree to, but other than that, it had been a priceless gift.
His family had been behind him every step of the way. Even though the loss of his little sister, Mary, had devastated them all. But in the three years since he’d arrived at school, they’d done nothing but encourage him.
Noise in the busy streets of the Windy City threatened to overwhelm his senses. Whistles from the traffic cops, arguments between vendors, and everyone else trying to be heard over the same din crowded his ears.
With a shake of his head, he picked up his pace to the station. Not that it would be any less noisy, but the sooner he could settle himself on the train, the better.
His thoughts turned home. A couple months ago, letters from his mother changed. Not just expressing the fact that he was missed, but urging ... pleading with him to come home. If only for a week. They had become harder and harder to ignore.
The station in view, Joshua lengthened his stride and took in the massive and beautiful three-story building. The Great Passenger Station of the Lake Shore and Michigan Southern Railroad. He hadn’t been here since his arrival three years prior.
It was an odd feeling as he navigated his way inside and then studied the boards to find his platform. What decent son allowed all that time to pass without seeing his family? Especially a family such as his, fractured by the loss of sweet Mary. As his gaze shifted from departure board to departure board, the bile created by his own guilt crept up his throat. Swallowing it down, he blinked away the self-deprecation and headed for his train. At least he was on his way now. He couldn’t change the past. All the what-ifs and should-haves of the three previous years were the choices he would have to live with. Face the consequences. And pray for a way to make things right and move on.
As Joshua stepped onto his train, he was glad to have had the push to go. Not wishing any disrespect for his benefactor—a Mr. Bricker, whom he’d never met in person—he’d written him and requested to take the break between terms to return home. The generous man had answered his letter right away and even paid his way. In first class! The gracious offering was given with a request and encouragement not to miss any of his schooling.
Professor Wright—who was his adviser in the medical program—told him it was adecent enoughuse of his two weeksoff although the man had frowned the whole time. At least Joshua had approval to go. That had been quite the hurdle.
His professors had informed him more than once that their desire was for him to stay in the city. They needed more doctors of his caliber, they insisted. The first year, he didn’t think there was any way he could stay out east. But then ... the letters from his benefactor, the encouragement from his instructors, the awards he’d won ... all of it added up to boost his confidence. He’d gotten used to the city, hadn’t he? Besides, there wasn’t much hope that he could go home and have what he wanted.
What hewanted.
In the past, his dreams had been to become a doctor. But not any high-falutin’, big city doctor. A country doctor was what he aspired to be. Because he’d planned to stay in Walker Creek and marry Anna. Raise a family. Live happily ever after.
At the train, he shook away the thoughts. Things were different now.
A faint glimmer of hope spurred to life. This trip had the potential to change the outcome—put things to right again.
It was far-fetched. But God could still do miracles.
