Over the past week, she’d read snippets of it to her father.Hoping that he could hear her, but knowing it was doubtful he would understand. Father had never been fond of other languages.
But the paper, which had been read at meetings of the Brünn Natural History Society more than twenty years ago, was a wealth of knowledge. Why it hadn’t gotten more attention was beyond her. This was a treasure trove of biology and the curiosities of organisms.
“Father...” She swallowed the lump in her throat. If only he’d wake up and answer her. “What do you think of this part? ‘It is willingly granted that by cultivation the origination of new varieties is favored, and that by man’s labor many varieties are acquired which, under natural conditions, would be lost; but nothing justifies the assumption that the tendency to formation of varieties is so extraordinarily increased that the species speedily lose all stability, and their offspring diverge into an endless series of extremely variable forms.’”
She took a moment to chew on her lip. “It seems that with all his work on tens of thousands of pea plants, he concluded that while there can be variety, it simply can’t up and change to say ... a squash plant. Or a tomato.” Should that surprise her? There was so much they were learning every day as science and experimentation advanced. But the intricacies of life—even in plants—was extraordinary.
She tapped the papers against her hands, ignoring the quivering in her stomach. Ever since Monday, her father had barely moved. Lifting her chin, she refused to be like her mother and think the worst. So she’d continue her conversation with Father, even if it was one-sided. “I haven’t studied it at the extent that he did.” Obviously. Twisting her mouth back and forth, she shook her head and walked over to the window.
“I don’t wish to be ignorant. I want to be educated and open-minded.” She paced her way back to her father’s side.“You taught me that. That’s why I wish to keep studying and learning. Will that make you proud?”
Father groaned and she leaned closer to him.
“Are you responding to my query?” She squeezed his hands.
Another groan.
Martha stared at her hands intertwined with his. She couldn’t remember the last time that she’d held his hand before he fell ill. Perhaps when she was small, before his accident. What made her long for the touch now?
Stepping back over to the window, she longed to see his eyes again. She picked up the family photograph she’d left there late last night. The only one Father had allowed after his accident.
All the daguerreotypes of him before he was scarred had been removed. But she could still faintly remember what he looked like.
The difference was the humor in Father’s eyes. It had been there before but disappeared a long time ago.
What she wouldn’t give to see that again.
Looking over her shoulder, she studied him. Watched his slow breaths.
She returned the photograph to the dresser and went back to his side.
Grabbing his hand, she whispered, “I miss you.” Her impulse to say those words struck her in the heart like a needle. It pinched. Burned. Made her uncomfortable.
Whether she missed the man she remembered from her childhood, or the thought of getting to know her father as an adult bothered her, she wasn’t sure. But the weight of her words grew heavier with each passing second.
Regret was awful.
Father’s hands tightened around hers.
A glimmer of hope shot through her. “Father?”
He convulsed on the bed.
Nurse Krueger rushed to the bedside and shoved his shoulders down. “Quick.” She jerked her head to the side table. “Get that strap between his teeth so he doesn’t bite his tongue off and swallow it.”
Martha grabbed the strap and fought to get it in between his teeth as Father flailed on the bed.
Tears pricked her eyes.
Nurse Krueger held Father down as best she could but jerked with him several times.
Martha’s knees buckled as she watched. Grabbing the arm of the chair she’d occupied as she read, she sat back down, her heart racing.
Father’s movements lessened. Then stilled.
Cold seeped through her veins like ice chilling her from the inside out.
He went completely limp.
