Was it because they hadn’t seen each other for several weeks? They’d never gone that long before without seeing one another. Perhaps it was the news of Grandfather’s death. A fresh wave of grief crashed over her. She still couldn’t believe he was gone.
Oh no. The fact that Devin had been asked to be the one to tell her. That must have been a horrible burden for him to bear. And then she had to go and do this.
It wasn’t grief that had put Devin in this precarious position. She knew, no matter how convenient it would be to blame it on Grandfather, this was all her own insecurity.
As she rushed out along the long grass following where he’d gone, she could barely see him in the distance. Gracious, he was moving fast.
She picked up her pace and began to run as fast as her corset would allow. At this point, she didn’t care about how much dirt caked her shoes or the bottom of her pants. She didn’t even care about what people said if they saw her running after a man. All she cared about was apologizing.
When she was within shouting distance, she hollered at his back. “Devin! Please stop. Devin!”
When he kept on, she yelled again. “Devin! I’m sorry!”
Still, he didn’t stop. There was nothing to block her voice. He was deliberately ignoring her. And she couldn’t blame him.
So she ran harder. “I’m sorry.” She cried the words now. Why wouldn’t he stop?
She finally caught up to him and latched onto his arm. “Devin. Did you hear me?” She gasped and watched his face.
It was dark and stormy. Hard.
Unforgiving.
“Please.” She put a hand to her chest, heaving for each breath. “Devin, I’m sorry.” The tears couldn’t be stopped at this point.
“I heard you.” He didn’t look at her.
“I—”
“After I specifically told you that I didn’t want to play a part for you. You don’tneedme to do that. And yet you went ahead and did what you wanted. You lied, Eliza. And not just about yourself. You lied about me.”
His words cut her like a knife into her heart. Quick. Sharp. To the core.
She licked her lips, her heart hammering in her chest. Devin had never been this angry with her before. The distance between them was a stark contrast to the warmth she’d felt just a few hours before. Still, he deserved an explanation, even if he didn’t want one. “I didn’t know what to say. And I wasn’t sure if Dr. Masterson thought the paper was brilliant or if he thought it was terrible ... I was scared.”
“Oh, I see.” He laughed at her and waved his hands out in front of him, but it was anything but joyful. “You didn’t want the man you’ve looked up to all these years to hate your paper, so you thought it would be fine for him to think thatIwrote a bunch of drivel!”
“It wasn’t drivel!” The words shot out of her before she knew what she was saying. And in that moment she admitted the truth: She didn’t have a leg to stand on. He was right. She’d been completely selfish. Worried about herself. Insecure.
Devin shoved his hands in his pants pockets, shaking his head. “That’s my point! Nothing you’ve written for publication is drivel.” His words were only a tad bit softer. “You’rebrilliant, Eliza. I don’t know why you can’t see it, but you are. And the fact that you can’t see how incredibly selfish that was for you to go against my wishes ... well, I’m furious.” He turned away from her and then swung right back around and stepped closer. “Just because you’re doubting yourself and can’t see the forest for the trees doesn’t mean that you should hurt the person who loves you the most!” His eyebrows drew tight together. “I know the last week has been upsetting in so many ways. But Eliza ... we’ve been friends our entire lives. I’ve always been there for you. Always. I can’t”—he clenched his jaw—“I can’t even look at you right now.” And he turned back around and paced in a circle.
“You’re right.” She lifted her arms up and then let them come crashing down. “I’m sorry, okay?” What else could she say?
Once more, he whirled on her and stepped right up to her until their faces were inches apart. “You always have gotten away with doing your own thing, Eliza. And most of the time, I’m along for the ride. Encouraging you and cheering you on. But how—pray tell—am I supposed to have an intelligent conversation with a paleontologist about a paper that I know nothing about?” His blue eyes bored into hers.
She opened her mouth to argue back because that was what she’d always done, but no words would come. The heat of his anger came off him in waves. But she found herself unable to move or even blink.
Her stomach did that weird flipping again, and a shiver raced up her spine. What on earth? It was brutally hot out here today. But she was caught up in his gaze.
For a moment, she thought God had stopped the sun like He did in the book of Joshua. Then, she flushed from head to toe as she thought for sure that Devin Schmitt was about to kiss her.
That idea was the best one yet.
She actually wanted him to.
He licked his lips.
A second passed.
