Even though every day was a struggle.
Even though, every day, she wished she could talk to Devin. Tell him what was in her heart.
And even though, most of the time, she struggled for words to express what she felt.
Despite all that, she would no longer deny she loved him. And was, as a matter of fact,inlove with him.
Just the thought brought a smile to her heart.
It was time to send him a long letter. If she could only get the words right. She preferred to tell him in person... but that would be weeks away.
When her commitment here to Carnegie for the summer came to an end, she would tell her wonderful boss that she preferred returning to the museum. But in the time she had left here, she would grow and trust the Lord to help her conquer her fears and insecurities.
Stepping back onto the porch, she stared out at the sunset. Tomorrow promised to be hot and full of visitors since the men at the quarry directed the ones who weren’t satisfied to wait for her direction. She didn’t mind. That was, after all, why she was out here. Perhaps she should go to bed early and catch up from all the sleepless nights.
She turned and walked in the door. The house was quiet, so she slipped up the stairs to her room.
Under the door, an envelope was tucked there.
She picked it up and smiled when she saw Devin’s handwriting. He’d followed through with his promise to write her. Even with her lack of correspondence to him. Goodness, she wasn’t good enough for him.
She went into her room and closed the door as she ripped into the envelope.
Dear Eliza,
I hope you are doing well. Dad sends his love to you.
I returned back to work to find a mountain of paperwork waiting for me. I should have known. But it has kept me busy.
Leaving Utah was difficult, but I’m thankful you have people there to pray with you and guide you. Scripture is clear that older women and older men should help to guide the younger women and younger men, but rarely do we see that in action anymore. I think that church family will be a great one for you for a long time. I’m so happy for you.
Since I challenged you to follow your passions and abandon your fears, I decided it was only fair that I do the same thing. I can’t give you all the details yet, but you can be praying for me.
Dad and I are doing well, we’ve gotten back into our usual rhythm of life.
He went on about the new classes he would be teaching and the new organization of the department. Funny, in the past, she hadn’t paid as much attention to the details of his work, but now she found them fascinating.
She finished his letter and placed it on her small desk. She sat in the chair and stared out the window, wanting to write him back. But something Mary had said earlier kept coming back to mind.
“What are you striving for?”
Eliza hadn’t understood at first, but Mary continued to push until she did.
For so long, Eliza had thought she’d taken the apostle Paul’s approach and had been content in whatever circumstances she was in. But Mary confronted her on that.
Elizahadn’tbeen content. She’d been passionate about her work, yes, but she’d been searching and longing and strivingfor something else. Thinking she hadn’t achieved what she was supposed to.
As she and Mary talked, she told her that she’d written dozens of papers. She’d studied for years. She had a degree in paleontology, for goodness’ sake. Plus she’d earned the position at the Carnegie Museum and now was out here at Dinosaur National Monument...
And even as she talked, she finally understood.
It was all striving.
Because she was so afraid of failing. And because she was striving over and over...
She wasn’t content.
If she had been content, she would have continued on no matter what naysayers said. She would’ve plopped her own name on those papers and been content with whatever God wanted to do with them.
