I don’t have much energy to write all that I long to say, but I pray we have the chance for many conversations in the coming days.
Since this is now after your twenty-fifth birthday, I am gifting you the last of what I had on this earth. Dr. Grafton knows how to contact Mr. Abelman, and he will give you the money I saved up for you, as well as the house left to me by my parents.
Use it for whatever God lays on your heart.
My energy is depleted but I love you, my darling daughter. Forever and always.
Remember ... “For such a time as this...” Be willing to step out in faith and courage.
Mum
She looked to the sky and watched the white clouds move and shift across the blue expanse. A slight breeze picked up and the smells of the garden intensified.
As she breathed deep, the oxygen seemed to stoke the small flame alight in her soul. She stilled, her eyes fluttering shut as warmth flooded her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
All right, God, You have my attention. What do You have for me to do?
Chaisley sipped hertea,the warmth coating her throat. There wasn’t anything left to do in preparation for the tour. Her trunks were packed and downstairs ready to be loaded into the car tomorrow. Melanie was somewhere in the massive house, checking off the last few tasks on her to-do list.
Chaisley took another sip, relishing the quiet of the room. The fire crackled in the hearth, its heat soothing. There were no other sounds in the room. Savoring the peace of the moment, Chaisley leaned back into the plush chair and kept her hands wrapped around her teacup. This was the last time she would be alone for a long time. Best to tuck away the memory of what peace felt like.
She’d need it when she was being shuffled from venue to hotel to venue.
A frown tugged at her lips. Gracious. They hadn’t left yet and already she was dreading the travel and tight schedule. Not good. She needed an adjustment in her attitude before they began their journey. A ribbon of anxiety wrapped around her ribs. It was more than her attitude that was the issue. This whole tour had her on edge.
But why? It didn’t make sense. This is what she’d been preparing for—for months and months on end. Every time the creativity flowed and new music formed in her mind, she couldn’t wait to play it, finish it,shareit.
She should be thrilled that she could travel Europe and play her music. But instead? She’d rather stay right where she was.
Her fingers trembled, sloshing warm tea onto her hand.
Chaisley wiped at it with the linen serviette in her lap, leaned forward, and finished her drink, her fingertips feeling for the cool china saucer. She slid her cup onto the small plate with a clink.
Her thoughts pecked at her like the geese at bread morsels by the pond on the back of her property. She’d never been afraid to travel and perform. The thrill of her fingers slipping over cool piano keys ... the surprised gasps from the audience as she played difficult pieces ... the roar of the crowd when she finished with flair a piece played to perfection ...
Those things had inspired her. Refreshed her. Invigorated her. Her playing prowess was not in question. So why this hesitancy? Why was she reticent about leaving?
Have you prayed about it?
Heat warmed her cheeks. How many times had Grandmother asked her that question when life perplexed Chaisley?
Too many to count.
But she hadn’t prayed about it or anything else the last few months. Other than her prayers at meals and bedtime for hergrandmother, she’d become stiff and reclusive. It happened before any of her big tours and she promised herself each time not to let it happen again. But it did.
Tears pricked her eyes. The Lord felt so distant. But she’d been the one to stop communicating. Stopped her excited study of Scripture each day. Her mind was consumed with the tour during church. At home, she was at the piano most every spare moment.
She dropped her head in her hands. “I’m sorry, Lord.” Her hands muffled the words.
The door burst open. “Chaisley! You have—” Melanie’s slippers slid across the wood plank floor as her words fell off. “Are you all right?”
She waved a hand. “Fine. Just thinking. Praying.”
Melanie’s steps became muffled as she crossed the rug. “Okaaaay. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not right now. But I’ll be fine.” Chaisley straightened and pasted on a smile. “You sounded excited when you opened the door.”
Her friend was silent for a moment. Then the cool weight of paper touched Chaisley’s hands. “Here. I was going through the mail and found another letter from Mary Beth. Did you write to her?”
