‘What’s that?’ she asked, trying to remain impartial.
The woman who seemed to be in charge, waved a hand dismissively. ‘Oh, it’s where the last resident used to spit up the wall. It’s been cleaned.’
Ginny had no words. She went to the window to stare out at the old brown bricks facing her. There wasn’t much else going on down below. Certainly no green garden. Not a tree in sight. Oh, this would never do. How could she possibly sleep of a night knowing her mum was in this room?
‘I don’t feel very well,’ said Birdy, and Ginny turned to see vulnerability, a rare sight on her mother.
‘We can make you some dinner,’ said the care worker.
Suzanne went to agree to the offer, but Ginny told them all they’d seen enough and would head home to think things over.
‘We were going to take you down to the beach,’ said the woman. ‘Show you where we go some days. We’re not stuck in here day in day out. There’s lots to see, and we have a singer come over sometimes to entertain the troops.’ She turned to Birdy, adding a huge smile. ‘And if we settle you in before Christmas, you can join in with the festivities. You’ll have such a good time. You’ll see.’
Birdy simply stared at her, and Ginny noticed the water hit her mum’s weary eyes.
‘It’s a bit overwhelming at the moment.’ Ginny meant for herself as well. ‘We’ll speak to Henley when we get back. He’ll let us know what the next steps are once we’ve decided.’
The woman nodded. ‘Okay, but just so you know, this isn’t house hunting, love. If your mum needs care through the council, then you don’t get much in the way of choice.’
Yes, thank you, that was starting to dawn on her now. Jeez, Ginny needed some fresh air, preferably Port Berry air. She was glad to get back in the jeep.
‘Dinner would have been nice, Ginny,’ said Suzanne, a clear huff to her voice. ‘I’m hungry, and Birdy needs some food too.’
‘I’ll treat us all to dinner at my café. It won’t take long to get back.’
‘I don’t want to live there, Ginny,’ blurted Birdy, bursting into tears. ‘Please don’t make me.’
Ginny had to slow the car, as water blurred her vision. She went to speak, but Birdy was in a terrible state, crying and gasping, begging over and over.
Suzanne tried to console her, but Birdy was getting worse, so Ginny put her foot down on the accelerator, hoping her mum would settle once she saw she was closer to home.
Birdy clutched her chest, and her sobs disappeared.
‘Pull over,’ yelled Suzanne.
Ginny glanced over her shoulder, seeing the state her mother was in. A lump hit the back of her throat as her legs turned to jelly. She quickly found a dip in the country lane and pulled in slowly. ‘Mum, you need to calm down. It’s going to be okay.’
‘Call an ambulance,’ said Suzanne, faffing about with the buttons on Birdy’s blouse.
‘What’s happening?’ Ginny started to cry as she fumbled with her bag to find her phone.
Suzanne threw open the door. ‘Tell the operator she’s having a heart attack.’
Ginny froze.
‘Ginny!’ Suzanne yelled. ‘Ambulance. Now.’
Giving a destination was tricky when Ginny wasn’t entirely sure what the stretch of road they were on was called. She did her best before helping Suzanne get Birdy out of the jeep.
Everything slowed.
The emergency operator’s voice was slurred, the fields half-covered in snow were warped, and Suzanne was pressing on Birdy’s chest while quietly singing some distorted song in timeto her movements. It wasn’t until sirens and lights filled the air that Ginny woke from the trance she had with her mother’s lifeless face.
The paramedics took over from an exhausted Suzanne, and Ginny dropped to her knees by her side, feeling beyond useless.
‘Mum. Mum.’ Ginny nudged Birdy’s shoulder after the medic packed the defibrillator away. ‘Wake up, Mum. You can wake up now.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said a voice, but Ginny wasn’t paying attention.
