‘Oh, you don’t have to tell me, if it bothers you.’
‘It doesn’t, but before I start, I want you to know that my past will never come into contact with you or Archie. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, he doesn’t have grandparents to visit on my side.’
‘Nor on mine.’
Spencer lightly tapped her hand, then pulled back quickly, not wanting to do anything inappropriate. ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’
Beth’s eyes said a thank you.
‘Right, let me spit this out. I don’t normally make a pig’s ear out of it. My parents were heroin addicts, and when my littlebrother was six months old, they killed him because he was crying. I was eight at the time. Lottie two. We were placed in care, then my aunt came and, well, I guess she rescued us from our nightmare. So, you see, Beth, I know what it’s like to live with fear. I also know how to take care of a baby because I had to look after my siblings, and I know what love looks like, thanks to Rebecca.’ He motioned towards the pram. ‘I’m not my parents. I’m my aunt. Archie would never live the life I had to. He will always be loved.’
Beth was still for a moment, no doubt absorbing his childhood. ‘I’m sorry you lived through that, and I’m glad you had your aunt.’
‘Me too. I dread to think where I’d be now if it wasn’t for her. Didn’t put me on the straight and narrow for a long while, and even as a grown man I never settled.’ He lowered his eyes for what he was about to say next. ‘I used to sleep around a lot. Not thinking much of myself. Lottie would say I needed to up my self-esteem, but I ignored her, not wanting to put myself in a position where I might allow someone to hurt me. So, I’d love them and leave.’ He felt the need to apologize. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologize to me. I wanted a one-night stand too, but just so you know, it was my only one, and nothing I care to repeat. Oh, no offence. Nothing to do with you. You were . . . I just mean, it’s not the road I wish to travel.’
Spencer smiled. ‘Don’t blame you. After my sister was run off her bicycle and lost the use of her legs, I decided to change my life. The man you see now was only invented a couple of years back. What happened with you was a setback.’ He slapped one hand to his head. ‘That sounded terrible.’
‘Don’t stress. I know what you mean. How crazy though. There’s you, not wanting to do that sort of thing anymore, and me thinking it worth a try, and now look at us.’ She turnedto Archie. ‘Maybe he was supposed to be born. Perhaps he’s destined to go on to do great things.’
‘Well, let’s hope so.’ Spencer met her gaze as it slowly came back his way. ‘I think we should agree to make up something magical about how we met, because we can hardly tell our boy about our one-night stand when he’s older and asks how we met.’
‘Are you trying to say our moment of madness wasn’t magical?’
Spencer dropped his smile, then realized she was joking. ‘Hmm. Well, where were we? Ah, yes, me and my epic life. Actually, I think I came to the end. Now we know each other’s nightmares. I guess you know the rest about me. Where I work and volunteer.’
Beth gave a firm nod. ‘Spencer Jordan, helper.’
‘So, what about you? Did you have a good childhood?’
Beth shrugged one shoulder. ‘I guess. My mum died when I was a toddler, so I grew up with my dad and his mum. He moved us down this way from Bristol, then Gran passed away when I hit twenty, and it was just me and Dad until a couple of years back. Pearl’s my only cousin, and most of my friends are work colleagues.’
‘What do you do?’
‘Primary school teacher.’
‘Ah, so that’s why you were at the conference.’
She nodded. ‘Been thinking about becoming a SEN teacher, perhaps after maternity leave.’
‘Speaking of which,’ he said hastily. ‘I want you to know I’ll help with child support.’
‘Oh, that’s not why I brought him to you.’
‘I know, but I want to do my part. I want to be in his life, Beth. I want to help you both.’ He tried to steady his breathing while she mulled it over.
‘I didn’t know what I was doing when I left him on your doorstep.’ She pointed at the window. ‘I watched him. Waited for you to take him inside. I thought he’d be better off. But Jan told me I wasn’t a bad person, and, well, you know the rest. Anyway, now I’m here, I can see he’s been looked after, and I can tell you already think a lot of him. So, yes, I’d love you to be part of his life, but I don’t expect you to do anything for me. Just Archie.’
‘If it makes you feel any better, you could help me too.’
‘In what way?’
Spencer was pleased he’d caught her interest. One of the things he’d learned from helping to build the Hub was, helping others helped you. He figured if he could get Beth in there it might just benefit her too. ‘You could assist me when it’s my shift at the Hub.’ He pointed at the pram. ‘We can take little man with us. He won’t tear up the place, I’m sure.’
Beth smiled. ‘What would I have to do?’
‘We have a small food bank there. You could help make up some parcels to hand out.’
