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“Is Dana still asleep?” Rosa asked, then continued on without waiting for an answer. “You know, when I told you to find a nice girl, I didn’t expect you to do it so fast or so close to home,” Rosa remarked dryly as she put a plate of pancakes in front of him.
“Yes, she’s sleeping and what’s the occasion?” Ash asked, looking at his breakfast suspiciously. Normally he was lucky to score a bowl of fruit from her in the kitchen. She might cook dinner and leave it for him to heat later, but she didn’t provide him with any other meals. He’d never really cared since he usually picked up coffee and a muffin from Zoe’s on the way to the office. He’d didn’t want to admit it, but that had become his regular morning routine mainly because Dana normally opened the shop. He had found he got off on the adrenaline that arguing with her gave him.
“I don’t think Dana is one of your usual anorexic bimbos, so I figured she’d appreciate something more substantial than a glass of water. Although I do remember one of them inhaling everything in the refrigerator before barfing it all over the bathroom. I swear, boy, you certainly don’t discriminate, do you? You’ve slept with every kind of crazy there is.”
“In her defense, Mindy—or maybe it was Mandy—said she had some kind of stomach bug,” Ash pointed out before taking a bite of his food.
“Oh, naturally.” Rosa chuckled. “The first thing you do when you’re nauseous is to eat a leftover bowl of roast beef and a pound of mashed potatoes. Then stick your finger down your throat ten minutes later. I could hear her through the door cursing herself about the five pounds she was going to gain and how that couldn’t happen since she had a swimsuit shoot the next day.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.” He shrugged. “I’m pretty sure she did the same thing after dinner as well. I should have insisted we go to her place. But after the whole dog thing, I couldn’t risk it.”
Rosa poured herself a cup of coffee before taking the seat across from him. “I don’t think you told me about that. I could use a laugh this morning, so let’s hear it.”
Ash knew he was only giving her more ammunition to use against him, but he’d come to enjoy their chats. She probably knew him better than almost anyone else aside from his brothers. “Right after I moved here, I met up with this woman in a bar. I ended up going back to her apartment. I’d had a long flight that day so I fell asleep, which was a mistake. When I woke up the next morning, her dog was sitting on my legs. The damned thing was a Rottweiler and his teeth were only inches from the family jewels. She was nowhere to be found and he was growling and snarling like he was going to fucking kill me. Every time I moved so much as an inch, he’d snap at me. The damn thing was also drooling by the bucket load. So there I am butt naked with slobber on my crotch and a beast that was dying to yank off every protruding part of my body. I was trying to figure out how much damage he could do by the time I called 911 when she finally came back carrying a couple of cups of coffee. She thought it was adorable that her dog—who was named Cupcake—had made friends with me. When I got her to call the thing off, I put on my pants, grabbed the rest of my stuff, and ran like hell. That was the last time I stayed anywhere other than home. Which, as you know, has created its own problems. But I haven’t been mauled by a four-legged beast.”
Ash heard laughter coming from behind them and turned to find an amused Dana standing there. He swallowed deeply for composure as he noticed the fact that she was wearing one of his T-shirts. Since he was a lot taller than she was, it hung to well past her knees. She looked so freaking sexy that he wanted nothing more than to throw her down onto the table and have her for breakfast instead. “That was another classic encounter,” she joked before saying good morning to Rosa without an ounce of discomfort. She waved the other woman away and fixed her own plate as well as a cup of coffee, then settled down next to him. “Good morning, dear,” she said easily as she took a bite and moaned in bliss. “Oh my God, these are scrumptious, Rosa.” She surprised him by patting his stomach. “How in the world do you keep that six-pack? If I had this every day, my ass wouldn’t fit through the door.”
“This was all for your benefit—she doesn’t normally put this much effort into me. Apparently you rank higher.”
Ash’s dick jumped to attention when she closed her eyes to take another bite and groaned again. “I think I love you, Rosa. This is like crack and that makes you my dealer. I’ll be following you around and begging for another fix. I swear, if you do toilets as well, I’ll marry you today.”
“Hey, I’ve already proposed to her on numerous occasions and she says she can’t leave Ted. So forget it. I’ve called first dibs. If you want the food, you’ll have to get it here.”
Rosa grabbed her chest before saying dramatically, “Well, I never thought I’d see the day. Asher Jackson actually wanting a woman to come back again. Usually he’s in here hiding and begging me to go show them to the door. I deserve hazard pay for the amount of times I’ve been in the trenches. Some of them were downright scary too. You never know when they’re gonna go off and starting throwing shit. I can handle the tears, but flying shoes are dangerous. Especially those spiky ones. We had to plaster a hole in the wall a few months ago after one woman tossed her shoe so hard the heel went about three inches in and she couldn’t get it back out. Talk about pissed. She kept raging about how much the damned things cost, when it was her that threw the fit and the Jimmy Who’s.”
“I think that’s ‘Jimmy Choos.’” Dana giggled. “Although I’ve never been able to afford them myself, but I’ve seen enough movies to know the name.”
Rosa shook her head. “All I know is that she looked pretty crazy when she insisted on putting the one left on and limping out the door. I have no idea how she made it home that way. I offered to get her a pair of socks to wear, but she wouldn’t hear of it. Said she wasn’t going through the hotel like that. But I figured she would have attracted fewer stares in socks than she must have with all the hobbling she was doing.”
Dana looked at Ash and clucked her tongue. “You really do a number on these poor souls, don’t you? Were you cowering while all of this was going on?”
Not feeling an ounce of embarrassment, he said, “Hell yeah. I figure they’ll think twice about messing with a poor old lady. But I’d be a different story.”
Rosa reached out and swatted his shoulder. “Watch it, kid. Next time I’ll let you clean up your own mess and you know you don’t want that.”
Ash elbowed Dana. “You heard that, right? If you go all bat shit, Rosa’s not going to like it. She’ll tell everyone far and near about your antics. You’ll be the talk of the hotel if you don’t behave.”
Dana looked surprised, but simply said, “I’ll keep that in mind.” She took the last bite off her plate, then stood to load it in the dishwasher. Rosa looked at her approvingly as she cleaned up after both herself and then Ash. “I need to head home so I can get ready for work. I only have about an hour until my shift.”
Ash didn’t like the thoughts of her hurrying through the Florida traffic. “Why didn’t you bring something with you to wear?”
She darted a glance at Rosa as she lowered her voice. “I didn’t exactly plan to stay over. I have an extra shirt at work, but I don’t have any pants.”
After pulling out his cell phone from his pants pocket, Ash said, “Why don’t you run down to the boutique and pick up a pair? I’ll call and let them know you’re coming.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not spending a couple hundred bucks because I’m too lazy to drive across town. It’s really not a big deal. But I need to get going or I’ll be late.”
Ash stood and crossed to her. He lowered his head and said softly, “They know to put anything you buy on my account. Do you want me to walk you down?”
Dana looked exasperated now as she blew out a breath. “I’m not letting you buy me clothes because I didn’t come prepared for the walk of shame. You’re makin
g this into more than it is. It’s not as if I live in Cuba or something. But Zoe isn’t going to be happy if the shop doesn’t open on time because I was arguing with her stubborn brother-in-law. Now if you’ll please let me by, I can leave.”
The woman absolutely drove him nuts. He didn’t understand why there was a problem. “I bought the dress you wore last night, so it’s not as if this is a first. Just go get a damn pair of slacks and stop being so pigheaded.”
He saw Rosa shake her head at him before she glanced over at Dana. He knew he was making a mess of this but he wasn’t used to this kind of objection. He’d never had anyone refuse to shop on his dime. It was practically unheard of. Even his own mother took great pleasure in charging her purchases to either him or his brothers. Suddenly he was studying Dana like he would some kind of science experiment. He hadn’t been aware that there were even people like her in the world other than maybe Rosa. She reached one arm out and poked him in the chest with her bony finger. “Listen, buddy, the wardrobe was for the job. I’m not one of your bimbos who wants something from you. You don’t need to flash your platinum card or call one of your hoochie outlets to clothe me. I might not have expensive designer things, but my Walmart slacks get me by just fine. Now if you’ll please move your ass, I have somewhere to be.”
Ash had opened his mouth to argue when Rosa cleared her throat loudly. “You best throw in the towel on this one, boy. It’s only gonna get worse if you keep going. And I’m thinking you might want this one to come back again.” Since it was now two against one, he did what any intelligent man would do—he shut his mouth and retreated. Any thoughts he’d had about morning sex or at least a kiss were gone as the petite blonde he’d shared a bed with the previous night stalked past him and slammed out the door. “That didn’t go so well.” Rosa stated the obvious. “You had it wrapped up until you wouldn’t take no for an answer. Dana is a normal girl. You can’t treat her like a booty call.”
A booty call? Ash cringed at his housekeeper’s ghetto terminology. What had she been watching on television lately? Probably some crazy reality show. “Why am I the bad guy for simply trying to make her life easier this morning? It wasn’t as if I offered to buy her a damned Porsche or some trampy lingerie. I asked her to stay over last night, so naturally I felt responsible that she wasn’t prepared this morning. I was simply attempting to be considerate. But you two ganged up and turned it into an asshole move.”
“Cool your jets,” Rosa scoffed. “I knew where you were coming from, but she didn’t. And that one is carrying around some past baggage. I didn’t say you were wrong, I was trying to keep you from making a mistake where she’s concerned. I like her and you appear to as well. So instead of throwing a hissy fit, you should be thanking me for putting a stop to your downward spiral. You didn’t notice it, but that ship had sailed and was damn near about to run ashore while you argued with the captain.”
Ash scratched his head as he stared at her in confusion. “Do I even want to know what that means? Can’t anyone around here just say what they’re thinking instead of making it so complicated?”
She slapped his arm as she walked over to the sink and began to clean up the remaining dishes. “Let me put this in terms you can relate to. You were fucking up and I saved your ass. She can’t be bought like a tramp of the month. I have a feeling you’ve made a mess of things with her at various times so you don’t have a lot of credibility to fall back on. If she does carry scars from past relationships, you’re gonna make her as nervous as an eighteen-year-old virgin going to prom with the high school quarterback.”
And I actually thought this conversation couldn’t get weirder. Has she been smoking Ted’s weed again? Maybe she’ll share if I beg. “Since you and Ted have been together forever, I doubt you remember much about those pesky innocent years,” he joked and was pleased when she cracked a smile. “If I’m understanding you, then you’re saying I should try a different approach with Dana. I mean, if I want to see her again. Which is kind of absurd because you and I both know that I don’t do repeats often. It’s been a huge mistake every time I’ve attempted it. Hell, she was seconds away from putting a hole in either my head or the wall before she left. It’s best that we both cut our losses and move on.”
“What’s this about her doing a job for you? Is she working in that fancy office of yours? Heck, I might be interested in applying for a position if you’re supplying a wardrobe. You don’t even replace my shirts when I get Clorox on them.”
He rarely kept anything from Rosa and he didn’t see the point now. She might be an employee, but she was also more like a mother to him than his own. “I hired her to be my fake girlfriend. She needed money for a new car and I wanted to enjoy a few social occasions where I didn’t get pawed all night. She accompanied me to dinner at my mother’s last week and ended up making an enemy of Claudia when she kicked her chair backwards and dumped her ass out onto the floor. Then they had a whole ugly scene where Claudia and her cronies came into the coffee shop and Claudia spit coffee on Dana. Zoe had security kick them out, which pissed off the parental unit, well, Bart at least. I think my mother rather enjoyed it. So I had to threaten Bart to get his daughter to back off. And last night Dana was here because she was pretending once again to be the woman in my life. It certainly helped keep that clinger Monica off me for the evening, so I’d say it was a success.”
Rosa stared at him in disbelief. Then she threw her head back and started laughing. “That explains a lot,” she finally managed to wheeze out. “I couldn’t figure out why it seemed as if you suddenly had a real relationship for the first time since I’ve known you. And Dana is so different than any other woman you’ve ever dated. I thought you’d either smartened up or she’d lowered her standards. So this makes more sense. The world as I knew it seemed to have gone mad there for a while.”
“Gee, thanks so much,” he muttered dryly. “You really never worry about offending me, do you? You better be glad I’m not overly sensitive.”
“Oh, stop whining.” She rolled her eyes. “So I guess that you two hit it off and that’s why you were sucking face earlier last evening and then she stayed over.”
“I’ve been attracted to her for a while,” he admitted. “But there was also something about her that rubbed me the wrong way. For the better part of a year I’ve insulted her almost daily. And I’m not talking about your garden-variety snide comments. No, it was full-on mean stuff. Even I couldn’t believe some of the shit that came out of my mouth around her. I’m surprised she hasn’t hit me with her car by now. But that night at the bar when she saved me from neck-sucking Brittany, we came to a mutual understanding. She needed money and I’d had enough embarrassing scenes. I also saw that I’d been wrong about her all this time. I was punishing her for someone else’s sins. And no, I’m not getting into that,” he added quickly when Rosa attempted to interrupt him. “Dana and I are a lot alike in regard to our views on relationships so it seemed like the perfect solution for both of us.”
“But it’s gotten complicated because you actually like this one?” Rosa clearly wasn’t giving up on her interrogation yet.
Ash shifted on his feet, not comfortable thinking along those lines. “She’s become a good friend,” he admitted hesitantly. “We also get along well most of the time. But that’s all there is to it. That’s all it’ll ever be, so don’t go trying to turn Dana and me into one of those romance novels you leave lying around my house.”
Rosa acted like she didn’t hear him. “You could send her flowers. From the sounds of it, you owe her. Even the hardest heart melts over roses.”
“You’ve officially lost it,” he said in disgust. He hadn’t done anything like that since Fiona and look at how unsuccessful that relationship had been.
“Maybe you don’t know it yet, but you’ve met your match. I already see changes in you. You can deny it all you want, but she’s gotten under your skin. I said the same thing to
Dylan about Zoe, and I was right.”
“My brother is a different story,” he argued. “He was ready to settle down. I’m not wired that way. So save all your self-help talk for someone who needs it. Now I’ve got to get to the office.” He walked down the hallway to his bedroom trying to block out her words. She didn’t know what she was talking about. Ten years from now he’d still be doing what he did best: avoiding messy attachments and hysterics. He was lucky that this time he’d slept with someone who felt exactly the same way. He didn’t have to worry about Dana getting the wrong idea. And as long as they were on the same page, why not enjoy the perks that came along with their business relationship? The next time he wouldn’t offer to buy her any clothes though. After all, a smart man always learned from his mistakes.
Ten
You want to get a drink tonight and discuss some of the events over the next few weeks that I’d like you to attend?
