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Olivia hesitates, on the brink of inviting the woman inside, but then she remembers Paul, and the lawyer, and most of all Raleigh. She can’t admit anything to this woman. Olivia must hold her ground.
‘I have one, a boy,’ Olivia says, rallying. ‘I’ve been very lucky. I’ve never had any problems with him,’ she lies, ‘at least not so far. I’m very proud of him.’
‘You’re very fortunate,’ the woman says a little coldly.
This woman must know – or suspect by now – that it’s her son who broke into her house, and that she’s the mortified woman who wrote the letter. Olivia feels sick to her stomach and wants urgently to be done with this conversation. ‘Yes, I know,’ Olivia says. ‘I really must go. Goodbye.’ She closes the door and hurries upstairs, where she runs to the bathroom and throws up her lunch into the toilet bowl. Tears come to her eyes, as they always do when she throws up. But as she remains hovering over the bowl, the tears come in earnest. She has really messed things up. She feels fear and anger in equal measure. This woman is onto her. She has to be. What will happen to Raleigh now? That woman can’t prove anything, can she? But Olivia doesn’t want Paul or Raleigh – especially not Paul – knowing that she sent those letters. So she can’t tell them about that woman’s visit to their house, obviously, either.
Olivia slowly gets to her feet and rinses her mouth out at the sink. She looks at herself in the mirror – she looks terrible. Unable to deal with this on her own, she calls Glenda and asks her to come over. Glenda arrives about fifteen minutes later, her short auburn hair windblown and her face lined with concern.
‘What’s the matter?’ she asks, as she steps inside.
Olivia knows what she looks like. She looks like she just threw up. She looks distraught. But if there’s anyone she can trust with this, it’s Glenda. She can tell Glenda, but not her own husband. What does that say about her marriage? Olivia thinks fleetingly. But there’s nothing really wrong with her marriage, she tells herself; this is a special circumstance. She normally doesn’t keep anything from Paul, and he doesn’t keep anything from her – it’s just this one thing – that she now wishes she had never done. But she also doesn’t want Paul to find out. She wonders if she should simply tell him, or not. That’s what Glenda’s for – emotional support, and to advise her on what to do next.
‘Glenda,’ she begins, ‘something terrible has happened.’
Glenda’s face falls, as if she thinks someone has died. ‘What is it?’
Olivia leads her into the kitchen and then turns and faces her. ‘I did such a stupid thing, with those letters,’ she says.
‘Oh,’ Glenda says, in obvious relief. ‘I thought there’d been an accident or something.’
‘No,’ Olivia says.
‘Don’t worry so much about the letters,’ Glenda says. ‘It’ll blow over. Nobody’s going to find out it was Raleigh.’
‘I think someone already has.’
They sit down and Olivia tells her about Carmine. ‘She must be the one who lives next door to Zoe,’ Olivia says. ‘Remember Zoe talking about it at book club?’
Glenda bites her lip, thinking. ‘She didn’t actually accuse you of writing the letter, did she?’ Glenda asks.
‘Not in so many words,’ Olivia admits. ‘But I could tell what she was thinking from the way she was looking at me.’ She looks at Glenda in misery. ‘I wish I could hide my feelings better, but you know what I’m like. She could tell I was upset, and why would I be, unless it was my son who broke into her house?’ She props her elbows on the kitchen table and holds her head in her hands. She thinks about how it all started, just a few days ago, her and Paul grilling Raleigh about it in this very kitchen. ‘If I hadn’t written those damn letters, she would never even have known he was there. Paul is going to be furious at me.’
‘It’s not really your fault,’ Glenda says, trying to soothe her. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong. Raleigh’s the one who broke in. You acted out of a sense of decency. You were trying to do the right thing.’
‘And it blew up in my face,’ Olivia replies bitterly.
‘Paul will understand.’
‘No, he won’t. And Raleigh won’t either.’
‘But you put those letters through the slots on Sunday night. You didn’t see the lawyer till Monday. It’s not as if you sent the letters after the lawyer said not to.’
‘No. But I knew Paul didn’t like the idea. And I probably should have confessed to it right then, in the lawyer’s office, but I didn’t. At least this would all be out in the open, and I could go back to the lawyer and ask him what to do.’
‘You can still ask the lawyer what to do. But you’ll have to come clean with Paul first. You’ll have to tell him.’
‘I know,’ Olivia says miserably. ‘What a mess. And I’m so worried about Raleigh. Why did he do it? Why would he want to snoop around other people’s houses?’
Glenda shakes her head helplessly. ‘I don’t know.’
‘I suggested to Paul last night that maybe we should send Raleigh to a therapist. He told me I was overreacting, that it was just a phase. He’s not in favour of it – in fact, he was quite adamant about it.’ It was the first real argument they’d had in years. The second one will be tonight, when she tells him about the letters.
‘That’s the worst thing about being a parent,’ Glenda says, ‘not knowing if you’re doing the right thing, whether you should step in or step back. Our parents just ignored us. Maybe that was better.’
‘I know,’ Olivia sighs.
Glenda gives her an uneasy glance and then looks away. ‘I worry about Adam, all the time. Ever since he started drinking. It’s not like Keith and I are problem drinkers.’
‘It’s the kids he hangs out with,’ Olivia ventures.
‘He didn’t use to hang out with those kids. He used to be more sporty and academic. Now his grades are slipping and he’s missing practice. And he’s become so moody and insolent. Frankly, he’s awful to be around.’
Olivia can hear the strain in Glenda’s voice. They all sound strained these days when they’re talking about their kids. It didn’t use to be this way. They used to sit around the paddling pool, chatting and laughing, serene in the expectations that their kids would be bright and beautiful and untroubled. Parents always seem to have overly optimistic visions of their kids’ talents and futures when they’re toddlers, Olivia thinks – maybe that’s how they manage to keep going.
Finally Glenda gets up to leave. ‘Not the way we thought it would be, is it?’
Glenda walks home thoughtfully. Everyone warns you that the teen years will be tough, but she wasn’t expecting anything like what she’s dealing with. She thinks about her own problems. Her son … What will become of him? She finds herself brushing away sudden tears. What will become of all of them?
She thinks back to the night before. A year ago, Adam would have been out at some kind of sports practice or game. She and Keith might have lingered over supper, had another glass of wine, and talked. That’s something they don’t do any more. She doesn’t buy wine very often at all any more, because she doesn’t want Adam to see them drinking. Is that why she stopped buying it, or was she afraid that Adam might sneak some of it himself? Probably both.
