Most people wanted to protect themselves from the darkness that came when the Stygian yawned open, buta handful of peoplethought they could wieldthe evilfor themselves. Those were the samenutterswhoactually wantedthe aliens to come abduct them.
“Fools,” she hissed. “I have beenfollowingit for weeks and now that I am close to taking it down, you are ruiningmychances of containing the threat. Release me at once.”
Krystantsked. “I don’t think so.” She pulled out a large hunting knife and stuck the tip of it under the woman’s chin. “I asked nicely once. Don’t make me ask again. Who are you?”
She resembled a dark avenging angel the way she bared down over the mystery woman.Dark desires swirled inside me.
Krystancan barely stand you. She went and slept with other men because you aren’t man enough for her.
My desire ebbed asvivid images of her sleeping with other meninvadedmy mind. Ever since she’d told me earlier that night that she had more sex partners in aweekendthen I’d had in my life, visions of her being fucked by other guyscontinually slammed into my head like a sledgehammer just when I thought I’d been able to block it out.
“If you didn’t kill my gran, what happened?”Krystanaskedthe woman, driving thebladea little higher forcing the woman’s chin up.I forced myself to pay attention to the moment.
The woman’s nostrils flared, resentmentpracticallyseething from herpores.“She drove a kitchen knife into her own heart.”
Krystanback handed her so fast, the woman didn’t see it coming. Her head snapped to the side. “What really happened? What did you do?”
Blood trickled fromthe woman’snose. “Beat me all you want, but you are not ready for what is coming. You too will meet the same fate as your beloved grandmother.You’ve been touched by death.Let me go, andyourlife might be spared.”
I spotted beads of sweat at the woman’s hairline. Her eyes dartedaroundnervously.She was afraid, but not ofKrystan.
This woman isn’t responsible for Mrs.Ritsdeath. You are. You are the one who ran out without even thinking of leaving her behind.
I tried to bat away the terriblethought,but my gut twistedas it hooked into my brain like an anchor, distracting me from our interrogation.
“I don’t think you’re in any position to make threats or promises,”Krystansaid herhand balled into a fist before slamming into the woman’s cheek.
Maybe I was the reason Mrs.Ritskilled herself. She couldn’t stand me anymore and the thought of my returning to her house and annoying her with my presence drove her to kill herself.
My chest seizedup;fear pounded at my temples.Krystanlanded two more punchesas she screamed,“Why did you take her from me?Why am I being punished?”
No, this wasn’t right. Something was wrong. Ruminations of my worthlessness had intensified over the pastseveralminutes slowly but surely. I tried to shake it off. Mrs.Ritswas too strong to let me driveherto such a violent, final act.I wasn’tthe reason she killed herself.
Are you sure? Your own parents can’t even stand you.
“Krystan,” I said, muscling through the thoughts that were slowly but surely crushing me bodily.My chestconstricted;my ribs felt like they were crushing into my heart.
She paused, pushing her bangs back from her face making her look deranged. “What?”
My breath came in short bursts, my head began to spin.Cold washed through me, then unbearable heat.I had had enough panic attacks to recognize the mother of all attacks.
You’re still the loser who lived in his parent's basement getting high. You’re the same weasel who turned on his friends and joined with the Order ofLuxisagainst them. You were a coward and picked the winning team.
As much as I tried to fightit, chords of truth were being struck inside me and instead of singing, they screamed.The moment where I betrayed Emma and Calan to the Order ofLuxisbecause I thought Emma needed to die to keep hell from coming. I wasn’tthinkingof the greater good, and I certainly hadn’t beenthinkingabout Emma’s wellbeing. I was only thinkingabout me. My selfish need to live overruled any moral fiber I had.
But any team with you on it couldn’t possibly win.
Being next to Calan, a true hero, I wasbarely a shell of a human being much less a man. I couldn’t even satisfyKrystan.
When I looked over atKrystan,she backed a few steps away from the woman.And I thought I heard her whisper, “Iwant tomurder you.” Her eyes were wild with fear, as if she’d just cursed herself withthose words.
Everythoughtwent throughme likearailroad spike.
You’re worthless.
Your parents didn’t want you.
You’re so insignificant they couldn’t even be bothered to be disappointed in you much less remember your birthday.
