"It's coming, it's coming, it's..." The words spilled from my lips, a mantra of impending doom, their meaning lost in the cacophony of my spiraling mind.
My muscles swelled as I tried to ground against the wave of pain. The beast wanted to come out. It wanted to rage. Human fingers transformed into long, lethal talons. The world around me pitched and rolled as though I was at sea, the strobing lights a frenzied whirl of color that threatened to consume me until there was nothing left. I carved the claws into the floor, grasping at anything that could anchor me and keep me from floating away in a sea of agony.
“Xander?” I heard a voice call. I forced my eyes open, not realizing I closed them.
Miranda stood inside my cage, then outside of it. She teleported back and forth.
No. Get out of here. I don’t want to hurt you.
"Xander," her command sliced through the chaotic fog. I grabbed at the anchor of her authoritative voice and pulled myself toward it.
At last, the tumult eased leaving me shaky and exhausted. As long as I could remember, my flesh had been a battleground of unrelenting agony, leaving me feeling hollow and depleted. I was trapped in a never-ending cycle of suffering. The weight of it suffocates my spirit, fueling a bitter resentment towards a life that seems to revel in my torment.
Miranda had taken several steps back, still well behind the bars. Thank fuck. Both her hands strangled the hilt of her blade. The radiance in her eyes had dimmed, her normally warm brown skin paled several shades.
Fear shone in her eyes. Bitterness swallowed me up as it usually did. I wanted to rip the bars off this cage and impale myself to the wall. Punish myself for losing control.
Good, better she’s afraid. It will just give her another reason to run me through.
Still, nausea and disgust filled me. There was no escaping this prison of meat and bone.
Except that wasn’t exactly true anymore.
Gritting the words out through my teeth, my voice rougher than before, “I need you to come back here and kill me, every day, until I achieve true death. Based on yesterday, I expect it will take some time.”
My eyes were drawn to her sword once more as I sidled closer. Oh gods, I wanted her to kill me, so bad. I could practically taste the edge of the blade.
Please my angel of death. Carve a new fate in my flesh. Cut out the pain from the organ of my heart.
“This is. . .” she seemed to search for the word, “unusual.”
I couldn’t stop the cackles escaping me then. The sound of my own laughter helped fight off the buzzing in my head. When I finished, I couldn’t help but grin at her. Though it probably appeared like I was baring my teeth. “You wield an unusual weapon.”
Miranda tipped the blade at me. “Fair point.”
Impatient, and unable to wait any longer, I snapped. “Well, do you agree? Will you come down here every day and kill me?”
Miranda’s frown deepened. I wanted to lick her cheek up to the frown lines gathered on her forehead. Was that a normal response? I couldn’t say anymore.
I bit back the next batch of crazy giggles that threatened to escape me. I needed her focused on the task, not on my crazy. Though the need to climb the bars to swing and rail against them and my miserable fucking existence was overwhelming.
She strode across the room, approaching me with purpose. On instinct, I pressed my chest hard to the bars, so hopeful, I could barely breathe.
Kill me, beautiful.
“Wish granted." Then she stabbed me in the heart for the second time.
In that moment, I fiercely loved her more than anything in my entire damned existence. My lips twisted in satisfaction and pain as they mingled in the most intense manner.
She was so close, I breathed her in with my last breath — bergamot oil and her unique scent — inducing an insatiable hunger. My mouth watered. I almost wished I had a second breath to inhale her one more time.
But that blissful black haze engulfed me.
My last thought was bless the goddess of mercy before me and the invention of bergamot.
ChapterSeven
THE BADASS
