I swept my hand down her bare arm, enjoying the silky feel of her skin.
Something pressed up against my rib cage. The words I’d been denying. The thing I’d been most afraid of. I was more afraid of the sentiment lodged in my throat than I ever was of not getting a chance to die.
I thought that had been my worse fear, never dying.
But this, this, I was one thousand times more afraid of. It was only into Miranda’s ear that I could whisper it.
The words came out shaky. “Miranda. I want to live.”
She didn’t respond or open her eyes, but I could feel her thinking, hard.
“You’re right. For a while now, I’ve been in control. That is, until tonight. I want to live, but I need you. Without you, my demons will still eat me up from the inside. Say you’ll stay with me as long as I live, and I can do it.”
Her eyes opened at that. She sniffled, clearing her stuffy nose. “Are you proposing?”
I pulled her against me tighter. “Maybe I am.”
She frowned and tried to move away, but I wouldn’t let her.
“Xander, this is crazy. You are outside your cage. You aren’t thinking right. You’ve had a taste of freedom and now you have lost it.”
“You’re right about one thing. I’m crazy. I’ve been crazy for as long as I can remember. But even all the voices in my head love you and would never hurt you.”
“They love me?” she said in a strained voice.
“Ilove you, sweetheart,” I clarified with vehemence. “I know all that came out jumbled and backward, but like you said, I’m crazy.” Then I flashed her a grin meant to devastate her resistance.
“You’ve made me so different,” she confessed in a whisper filled with fear and awe.
“Any version of you is the right version,” I said, my arms tightening around her. Suddenly I was afraid. Scared she didn’t like what she’d turned into around me. Maybe she’d rather be something else with someone else. I honestly couldn’t blame her. Shackling her to a crazy, feral god was likely a punishment.
Then after a pause, she said, “I love you too.” Her words tripped on emotion. Or congestion. I didn’t mind either.
I kissed her softly, sweetly, with all the aching tenderness threatening to crack in me. I kissed her with a promise that I would reward her love her and trust.
“As soon as you are feeling better, I’m going to show you exactly how much I fucking love you, sweetheart.”
“Promise me one thing,” she said, her fingers curling into my chest.
“Anything.” And I meant anything. I’d fucking rake down the moon from the sky if she wanted it. I knew a guy.
“No more board games,” she said, closing her eyes and snuggling into me.
A laugh rumbled through my chest. “Deal.”
ChapterThirty-Two
THE BADASS
“Something bright flashed through the window. The heat of the light was scalding, and I shied away from it. The room was bathed in an eerie, fiery glow. It seemed almost alive, pulsating with an insidious intent. This wasn’t the gentle caress of dawn’s first light; it was a harsh, consuming blaze.
Beside me, Xander was a comforting presence, lost in the serenity of his godly dreams. The way his chest rose and fell, the soft, almost purr-like snore he gave every third breath, it was all so normal. It was at odds with the lurking threat I felt seeping into the room.
“Bob,” I whispered, reaching for the sword I kept by my bedside.
“What is it now, Miranda?” it muttered, the sarcasm in its voice almost tangible. I wasn’t even going to try to figure out how or why a sword would sleep.
“I think we have a problem,” I replied, clutching the hilt of the blade. The metal was comforting and cool, the familiar grooves fitting perfectly into my palm. “Something bright.”
