But seeing her in my personal haven is now burned into my brain. I don’t need this.
I push up from the table, abandoning the coffee and my hot breakfast. “Well don’t think this means there is an open door policy now. That you can just come in here any time you feel like it.”
The scent of her wraps around me, creating all kinds of confusing, painful feelings for me to soak in. I need to get out of here, so I grab my keys from the table and head to the garage at the back of the house, and away from her. I don’t particularly need anything from the hardware store, but I’m sure I’ll find something once I get there.
Pausing with my hand on the knob, I shut my eyes and sigh.
You are better than this.
Am I?
Try to be.
I turn to look at her though I can’t force myself to wipe off the dark scowl from my face. Especially when I see her arms wrapped around her body, knees turned in toward each other, as if she is trying to bodily protect herself. From my rudeness no doubt.
“Feel free to have breakfast and some coffee before you let yourself out. I won’t be back until much later.”
At least, I made an effort. I whip the door open before slamming it behind me. It’s only much later, some time between browsing the hardware store’s side yard of broken appliances for a project, that I wonder why she was wearing a pajama set.
Normally, the girls end up swimming in one of my brother’s shirts. They wear it like they’ve already decided they are his girlfriend and their one night has made it official. Or because it is a better alternative than their tight party dresses.
Did this mean she came over deliberately in her nightwear? How did they meet? At the club? In my backyard, before he lured her over.
A horrible thought occurs to me and my fingers grip so tightly around the washing machine lid I’ve opened that the metal dents under them.
Is this not a casual hookup? Does he have plans on seeing her long term? Not that I’d ever seen him bring the same girl over more than twice, but why wouldn’t he?
The cream puff is a lovely little knockout who is friendly as all get out and makes cakes in the shape of hearts. Not to mention she’s an absolutely irresistible smart ass.
This is exactly what I feared would happen.
My heart plunges into my ice-cold stomach then springs back up into my throat, vibrating with panic before repeating the action three more times.
Would he visit more so he could be near her? Would the honey-eyed girl sit across from me at my breakfast table while she fawns over my brother in front of me in that same silky pajama set?
I slam the washer lid down so hard the metal caves in on the top now too.
“Hey Jim,” I call out in a hoarse tone. “I’ll pay you a hundred for this one.” After a quick scan around the yard, I add, “I’ll take whatever else you got too for that matter.”
“Whoa,” Jim says in his old creaky voice. “Slow season at the job right now?”
“No, not really,” I mutter. But he doesn’t hear me as he starts to ring up all the crap I’ll haul away later to try and fix. I only hope by the time I’ve tuned up all this junk, I’ve also straightened out the knots filling up my chest. But some part of me doubts it.
Chapter11
Cracking Under The Pressure
GOLDIE
Some girls keep things inside until they can figure stuff out and then they present a dilemma or issue to others.
I amnotthat girl.
As soon as I get home from the NFH’s house, I call Cinder and tell her everything. As I speak to her, I walk into my kitchen and find all the lights were on. I could swear I turned off all the lights before I went to bed. Maybe I flipped them on in my sleep? A shiver of unease races up and down my spine.
Some other smaller items have moved around, like a ladle, a book, and one of my makeup compacts. Or maybe I’m making it up.
When I get to work later, Cinder pulls me aside to go over it all again. We are in the small locker room where we keep our stuff during shifts. There are two mirrored vanities as well, in case we need to do our makeup or change. It’s small and functional but Rap agreed to let me paint all the lockers bubblegum pink to add some hominess to it. After the fiftieth time I asked.
