“Do you know how close I am to exiling you from this pack,” I threaten in a low voice.
“Whoa,” comes JJ’s placating voice, as he strides in. “Let’s not be hasty here. I know emotions are high and we’ve had a bit to drink.” He studies the bottle. “Okay, a lot to drink. But we are still a family.”
A humorless laugh escapes me. “Are we?”
“Of course, we are,” JJ says, frowning.
I shake my head. “Goldie was right. I spent so much time telling her she needed to stop people-pleasing but that’s all I do with you two jokers. I cater to you even if it breaks my back, and you could fucking care less. Just because I people-please two specific people instead of the public at large, it doesn’t make me or the situation any better.”
Maybe I did find clarity in a bottle. Or it’s Goldie’s effect on me. She imprinted on me in places I know will forever be branded by her.
“You say we are a family, but do families do this to each other?” I ask. “Do they put all their burdens on one family member every chance they get? Refusing to take an ounce of fucking responsibility for their own actions because hey, who the fuck cares about what Ted wants? He’s always done the right thing. He’ll always bail you out of a bad situation. Even if it means humiliating women or taking out a second mortgage to pay for a bad hand of cards.”
JJ’s face contorts in either denial or anger. “Hey, that’s not what we do—”
“Stop JJ.” Eli sighs. “You know he’s right. After Ma died, we took it as an excuse to never grow up because Ted took care of us.”
“Wellyoumight,” JJ protests while crossing his arms over his chest.
“Because dropping women disrespectfully into Ted’s lap so you can whore your way around town without any emotional consequences is incredibly mature,” Eli shoots back.
Eli’s concise way of calling not just himself but JJ out keeps me from reaching for the glass again.
“I don’t know about you,” Eli says, still speaking to JJ, “But I’m sick of being a fuck up. I’m so sick of my own bullshit and I’m over it.”
JJ’s expression is uncharacteristically somber as he takes in what Eli says. Then he side-eyes me. I take that opportunity to lift the glass to my lips again without breaking eye contact.
“Yeah, okay, you may have a point,” JJ reluctantly agrees as he shoves his hands in his pockets.
“You want to fix this?” I ask Eli, standing up, but using the table to steady me. “There is a way for you to make this up to me.”
When I give him his mission, he shakes his head and says, “I’m not running, Ted. Grimes, the man I owe money too, he’s going to come for us.”
“You aren’t running.” I’m sobering up by the minute. “You’re making it up to me,” I stress again. “As far as Grimes goes, I’ll handle him. Eddie went off the rails when Goldie hit him with her powers, but the second Grimes sent those hitmen to our house, the rules changed.” I look at JJ, “But I’ll need some of your expertise.”
JJ gives me a curt nod. “You have my sword.”
Eli frowns. “I’m not saying you have my bow, I’m not a nerd like you. I don’t get that Lord of the Rings shit no matter how many times you make us watch it.”
“Then,” JJ counters, “You can say ‘you have my tiny little knob.’”
Eli jumps up, throwing an arm around JJ’s neck, putting him in a headlock. As they wrestle into the living room, I cross over to the sink and pour out the rest of my drink.
I don’t know how this road leads to Goldie exactly, but I know it leads to me leading my own life on my terms, and my terms unequivocally include Goldie in it.
Chapter40
Special Delivery
GOLDIE
Days go by. No word from Ted or Rap, and Cinder barely deigns to respond to my texts, simply saying she’s busy but she’ll call soon.
I know what that means.
The loss of my best friend cuts into me like a knife. Visions of Cinder and Snow going over what I’d done in disgusting detail, maybe even calling Red over to tell her what I’d done.
But Red hasn’t treated me like that. When I wouldn’t answer her calls, she left messages that her and Brexley were worried about me and trying to find out the thing about a siren’s tears because they may be a key to helping me control my power and she’d be in touch.
