I couldn’t make them part to get to Miranda.
Fuck.
There came a knocking on my mind. Like the deep sonorous poundings against a massive castle door.
Serqet was trying to get in my head.
Panic rose within me as the walls of my mind shook under the strain of her power.
Serqet's eyes gleamed with malice as she turned her venomous gaze toward me. “Oh, Nun, once a mighty god, now nothing more than a deranged shadow, trembling on the brink of madness,” she sneered, her voice a razor slicing into my mind like a scalpel.
My fists clenched involuntarily, and a cold sweat broke out across my skin. I told Miranda I would protect her, but Serqet was pulling my mind apart like a child with a pile of blocks. It had been a mistake for me to come. My mind was too weak, and I put Miranda in danger.
“Look at you,” Serqet continued, her tone dripping with disdain. “Pathetic. Clinging to a mortal for some semblance of balance. Do you think she can save you from the chaos raging inside your head? She’s a mere human, Nun. She cannot anchor a mind as fractured as yours.”
Her words echoed my darkest insecurities—the fear that I was too far gone, beyond saving, beyond redemption. The fear that if I gave into my inner beast, I would never regain control, that I could not protect Miranda, the one person who had pierced the darkness of my existence.
“You're a ticking time bomb, Nun.” Serqet’s voice turned hushed. Her eyes locked onto mine, reading my turmoil. “One wrong move, and you'll unleash destruction upon those you claim to care for. How long before you turn on her, I wonder?”
Serqet prodded at the nightmare that haunted me—losing control and harming Miranda. That thought alone was unbearable. Whether I turned into the mindless monster I was, or simply crushed her fragile, precious heart, there were too many ways I could cause her pain and all of them felt inevitable.
“And you," Serqet turned her scornful attention to Miranda, “Do you realize the danger you're in? Aligning yourself with a god whose mind is a tempest of madness? How pitiful that you find strength in someone so broken and unstable.”
Miranda's jaw tightened. “Xander, don’t listen to her. She’s wrong. You are in control, not her.” Miranda's voice was firm, commanding. She was my lighthouse in this storm, but even her pull couldn’t dispel the shadows clawing their way out.
Serqet's laughter echoed through the lobby, mixing with the hiss of her scorpions. “Let's see how long your resolve lasts. The broken god and his mortal crutch—what a tragic tale you both weave.”
Serqet’s hisses echoed in my head. “Feel the chaos clawing at your mind. Let it loose, Nun. Show your true self to your precious mortal.”
The words were a relentless drumbeat, pushing me towards the edge. I could feel my darkness stirring.
It whispered at the back of my mind, a reminder of the depth and tempest of the powers I possess.Let go,it hissed,Show them the might of Nun.I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms, a futile attempt to anchor myself to my humanity.
The monstrous part of my godhood that I had fought so hard to control threatened to break free. It was tempting, so tempting, to let go and unleash the fury and power that churned within.
A desperate laugh bubbled up from my throat, the sound more akin to a growl.Is this it?I wondered.Is this the moment I become the monster?But even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew I’d do anything, become anything, to protect Miranda.
There would be no telling what chaos or damage I would inflict if I gave into the monster inside. Not even Miranda would be safe.
In the reflection of the obelisk, I caught a glimpse of my eyes—no longer human, but deep pools of the abyss, swirling with unbound power and madness. The sight was both terrifying and exhilarating.
I wouldnotbe a monster to her. I would be a man.
Even as I insisted this to myself, the world narrowed down to those hissing whispers, each word a strike against the fragile dam holding back my madness.
A torrent of ancient power stirred within me, fighting against the chains I'd wrapped so tightly around it. My skin itched with the need to shift, to unleash the roiling sea trapped within my soul.
The air around me crackled with tension, thick with the impending release of chaos. My grasp on reality slipped, my thoughts fragmenting under the weight of her words.
Suddenly Serqet’s words came from inside the cavern of my own mind.
“You are not a man. You are a monster, you always will be. Give in, Nun, to your nature. Give in to your chaos.”
My control cracked, and bright blue ravines of power lit up at my fingers, traveling up my hands and forearms.
Power surged through me like a tidal wave, unstoppable and all-consuming. My bones shifted, my skin stretched, and for a moment, I was suspended between man and deity—a creature of water and wrath about to crash down on those who dared threaten what I held dear.
Chapter 18
