“The Mice,” he says, with understanding.
Right. The name of the rebel faction against the Midnight monarchy, but they operate so quietly most people aren’t even sure they really exist.
And Kai is using me to inspire them to overthrow the King.
I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around that one.
“I’ll never let your stepmother or stepsisters hurt you again.” The words are strained as if he’s desperate to convince me of this fact. “They’ll never step foot back in this kingdom, I promise you.”
The corner of my mouth twitches and something releases in my chest. I believe him. They’ll likely find their way to another fairy realm and make a new life, but they’ll never climb up the ranks to what they were.
Would I prefer them dead and gone? Maybe.
But I almost feel letting them live in exile is more of a punishment. They were hungrier for power and status than they ever were for blood, so I know they are living their literal nightmare.
I do know I’m fucking relieved they will never bother me again. I’ll never have to fear running into them or be forced to be in their presence. This assurance they are far away and miserable triggers a healing in me that I didn’t know I needed.
“Whatdidhappen when you escaped?” Kaison stares at me so intently, I can almost feel him burrowing under my skin, slipping into my veins, infusing with my soul.
I swallow hard and avert my gaze.
“After my father died, my stepfamily showed their true colors. They didn’t think of me as family. I was barely tolerated. I found it out right after the grand funeral.”
The day had already been exhausting, devastating me more than I thought possible. I could at times still pretend that my father was in his studio caught up in his next painting and I’d turn the corner and there’d he be. But the funeral brought it all crashing down around me. I had to face my grief head on, in front of everyone, and there was no hiding from the truth anymore.
My father was dead. Truly dead.
I wished I was more like the placid faced prince who stood next to his father, dressed in ornate funerary garb. His expression was perfect parts distressed and reposed, while snot dribbled out of my nose as I unsuccessfully tried to stop the sobs wracking my body.
Only once did our eyes meet and I saw a familiar strange expression cross over the prince’s face. A glimmer in his dark eyes betrayed a hidden emotion, maybe a mix of sympathy and concern? But just as quickly, it vanished behind a curtain of stoicism.
I remembered the words that accompanied this very same look the last time after he discouraged those boys to keep them from sinking their fangs into me. I knew it was a look of disgust. I was disgusting to him and everyone else.
If I knew then what I know now. . .
“As soon as we got home, they moved me out of my bedroom and stuck me in the servants' quarters. My room was locked from the outside. I was demoted to staff and forced to clean up after them. Scrub floors, wash windows, clean the fireplaces. They barely fed me better than a dog. And then. . .” I work around the lump in my throat. It’s time to get it out. It’s not like he doesn’t already know the gist.
I just haven’t said it out loud before. Not once.
Not even to Goldie and Red.
I realize now my life has been split into two shards. My past and my present. I thought keeping them separate would heal me.
I’m starting to think I might be wrong. It might be the thing that just separates me from everyone else.
“My stepmother brought my stepsisters into my room, and they all took turns biting and drinking from me.”
“Fae lords of hell,” Kai whispers in equal measures of disbelief and rage.
I shut my eyes, suddenly right back there watching myself. “The pain was agonizing. My blood turned to rivers of ice as I was pierced and drained over and over. I screamed. I screamed a lot. I begged them to stop. I begged them to tell me why until my voice was gone. Once, Marisela flew into a rage and told me she despised me, that she despised being married to a filthy human just to gain entry to the Midnight Fairy Court. How the King was not treating her with the respect and deference she deserved. So I would feel her pain. I would give her girls the strength they needed to rise in the realm. As the years went on, I continued to clean and serve and act as a human blood bag. Eventually I learned to disassociate from the pain.”
My throat turns dry as year-old pumpkin bread.
A cracking noise draws my attention, pulling me out of my memory. It was Kai’s fist, flexing and releasing in that way I knew meant he was barely holding onto his self-control.
“Then after four years, I got my chance to escape. One night, after they’d fed on me, they forgot to lock the door when they left.” The effort it took to stagger to my feet was nearly impossible, but I hadn’t heard the click. The little click that signaled I’d be locked in my dark room until they needed me next.
When the door handle gave way under my hand, I almost couldn’t believe it. I’d learned not to hope for a long time, but it turned over and the way out was clear. So I ran.”
