Whatever nightmares my father has visited on me through my life, they all pale in comparison to watching him rip Cinder’s throat out in front of me while I’m helpless, unable to do to a fae fucking thing about it. My mouth and voice are frozen in place, but inside I’m screaming as she bleeds. As he feeds.
Murderous rage pumps through me in a way I’ve never known before.
Agonizing pain and despair rip through me like a pack of howling wolves.
Not her.Not her.
I promised I’d keep her safe.
Fuck everyone else. I’d hand over every last human and fae to my father to save her.
My body strains uselessly against the thrall as her violet eyes lose focus and she drops to the ground.
No.
Fucking no.
I can’t lose her.
I won’t lose her.
Then my father begins to smoke and burn. Wonder pierces the rage and fear as I realize it’s her blood.
While I felt the sun from the inside out, her heat is burning my father alive. And he won’t survive.
The unquenchable hunger of a monster overtakes me as I revel in watching my father scream in agonizing pain until he is no more.
The second my father is dead, his thrall breaks and I’m instantly by Cinder’s side, lifting her into my arms. “No, no, no, come on. Come on, stay with me.” Tears clog my throat and fall onto her face which has gone ashen and gray.
“Oh fae lords, there’s so much blood,” a small voice says from behind me somewhere. Maybe Goldie.
“Can’t you do something?” Brexley asks.
“I’m sorry honey,” the Fairy Godmother replies. “This amount of healing is beyond me.”
“Cinder, stay with me,” I beg.
After some effort her violet eyes find mine. They are dazed, as if she’s already lost touch with where she is, who I am. Who we are to each other. Her essence is already detaching from her body, preparing to leave for good.
“Please don’t leave me,” I beg. “I can’t live without you.”
But I will. I’ll be here. For centuries. Without Cinder.
I can’t fucking stand the thought.
I need her to speak. To say something cutting or snarky, but her throat is ravaged as are her vocal cords.
My body shudders with wracking sobs. Anger and fear crack my heart in my chest and I’m sure I’m about to die alongside her.
You are weak. Men don’t cry. You are a disgrace.
The words of my father hammer into me, but they can’t hurt me anymore. She’s worth being weak for. She always was.
None of this was worth it.
“I shouldn’t have involved you,” I blubber. “I should have kept you in the Common World where it was safe. Forced you to stay there. Far away from Midnight.”
I am what everyone says I am. Selfish. I should have let her go, but I wanted her with me. And now she’s paying the price.
