I have no intention of subjecting Cinder to that.
When the time comes, I'll let her go. I'll watch her walk away and tell myself it's for the best.
So why do my chest tighten and my hands clench every time I think of letting her go?
Chapter 15
Waiting for the Shoe to Drop
CINDER
The last couple of days have been too intense. I’ve returned to my childhood home, laid eyes on my abusive stepfamily, got trapped in a castle, assaulted at work, and oh yeah, engaged to the Prince of fucking Midnight.
After that guy grabbed me, Snow and Goldie descended on me, to see if I was okay.
“Did you see him, Goldie,” Snow gushes. “He was a flash of danger. All he needed was some shining armor.”
Goldie throws her arms around Kaison, squeezing him in a near back-breaking hug.
Then Rap finds out. She just about blows a gasket. My boss's face turns this mottled red color as she barks at the security guards to get the bastard's picture off the camera and make sure to call the cops if he ever comes back.
She tries to send me home. Usually what she says goes, but I tell her I want to finish out the night. It will make me feel normal. Otherwise, I'll stew over what happened. Wecompromise. I sit across from her and drink a cup of tea while she works on her computer. Then I get thirty minutes with some paper and the charcoals I have in my locker.
When I return to the bar, the crowd has died down and I find Snow and Goldie have created a fan club for Prince Charming in my absence.
The three of them fall into an enthusiastic discussion about Goldie's love life and the best brands of gin. I busy myself with cleaning glasses, trying to ignore the strange lurch in my gut as I watch them get along like a house on fire.
“So you keep thinking your beau is going to propose to you, but then he doesn't,” Kai asks Goldie as he sips on another martini.
“I mean, I thought so.” Goldie groans before dropping her head into her hands. “He set up this perfect picnic, and it was super romantic. He even made a pink heart cake, or tried to anyway, like I made him when we first met. But then the sky opened up and a torrential rain came down on our heads. The cake melted, and he practically scooped it into the picnic basket before we ran to the truck to keep from drowning.”
I listen halfheartedly as Kai lets out a low, throaty chuckle. “The ring was in the cake.”
“Shut up,” Snow says, even as her face registers shock. “You can't know that.”
“Oh yes, I can,” Kai says with a knowing smirk. “You have to ask yourself, why would a man scoop up wet cake and put it back into a picnic basket?”
I roll my eyes at their antics, focusing on wiping down the counter. But I can't help the twinge of envy that creeps up my spine. They are so at ease with each other, laughing and joking like old friends. And here I am, the outsider, the dark stone blocking the path of their effortless flow.
As their laughter rings out over some ridiculous joke, I feel myself retreating further into my shell, hardening against the warmth of their camaraderie.
Later, Kaison walks in silence next to me on the way to my apartment, his hands shoved in his pockets. I inhale deeply, trying to let the crisp chill of the Boston air calm me.
All I want is to put on my sweats, wrap myself up in a cozy blanket, and drink, eat, or smell something pumpkin spice. Or better yet, get my hands on some paints or charcoals again and lose myself in creating something outside of myself.
By myself.
I want to be alone.
“We need to get to Midnight,” Kaison says once we are a block from my place.
“I know,” I snap. “But I need to make another stop.” I can’t keep the irritation out of my voice. He doesn’t say anything else or ask questions, just lets me lead.
I don’t want to think about what’s got me in such a shitty mood. While I can pin it on that asshole putting hands on me at work, it’s more likely I’m pissed about how much Kaison gets along with my friends. Or maybe it’s that he made this big public display of saving the day. That he defendedhis girl.
But I’m not his girl. And I told him that.
So why do I feel so fucking twisted up inside?
