“Communication and all that shit,” he muttered so low I could barely hear him. I was going to respond to that anyway, but he took a breath. “I thought you were straight.”
Okay, so we were getting right into it. That was fine with me. We could start there. “Only mostly.”
Oak squinted at me, cocking his head to the side, trying to puzzle that out. “Explain that, please.”
I shrugged. “If you want a label, then I’m bi. Or pan, maybe. It doesn’t really matter, honestly. Just that I’m mostly, but not exclusively, attracted to women and femme presenting people.”
It took him a minute or two to process that. “Not exclusively. So you’ve been attracted to a man before.”
“A few times, yeah. A while ago. But I’ve had Caitlyn, so…”
He nodded. “So I’m not the first.”
I couldn’t quite decide from his tone if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, I needed to be completely honest. “No, sweetheart. You aren’t the first. You’re just one of the…select few.”
Oak sucked in a breath, but though he was turned toward me, his gaze was fixed somewhere over my shoulder. A beat passed, and then another, before he said, softly, “Let’s leave the endearments out of this for now.”
“Of course. I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to—” he shook his head. “I just get the feeling you're not here to throw me down on my bed and ravish me, so say what you wanna say.”
I nearly groaned, because the instant he said it, my mind supplied averyvivid image of me doing just that. But he was right. I wasn’t here to do that, and we needed to focus on the important part.
“I’m here to check in with you. To apologize for that kiss if necessary. I don’t regret it, so please don’t think that.” I took a breath. “But you know why it can’t happen again.”
Oak finally met my gaze, and his eyes were blazing. When he spoke his tone was a little…bitter perhaps. A touch of anger for sure. “No, I don’t think I do. You’re going to have to spell it out for me.”
It was moments like this when his age really showed. He was acting like a brat, but I couldn’t exactly fault him. I’d put us in this situation, and even though the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, I could understand why he was lashing out.
“I’m far too old for you, for one.”
He scoffed. “Fourteen years is nothing. I don’t care about that.”
“I do.”
He glared at me. “That’s dumb. Fourteen years means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Pick something else, if you’re so determined.”
I loved his fire. I really did. He was such a happy guy and full of heart. But seeing the anger lit me up as well. It showed me he knew his own wants and desires, and if the circumstances were different, it would be another tick in the attraction column. I wanted to grab the throw from the back of the couch and toss it over my lap to hide just how much I liked it, but that would just draw more attention to it, so I forced myself to remain still.
Lucky for me, and unlucky for him, I had a whole list. “More importantly than the age thing, whichisa factor,” I paused for his scoff before I continued, “is the fact that you’re my brother’s boyfriend’s nephew. Grandkid tomykids’ adopted grandparents. And we work together. All of those should put you firmly in the ‘no’ box.”
To his credit, he didn’t immediately refute what I said. He chewed his lip as he thought about it, and I watched the emotions play over his expressive features. He was trying to find an argument, and I could practically see him coming up with rebuttals and dismissing them. As the minutes stretched on, I expected to feel triumphant. But instead, I just felt a growing sadness. It was only then that I realized there was a small part of me hoping that he’d have a sufficient argument that would change my mind.
I reached out and pulled his lip from between his teeth as I whispered, “You’re going to make yourself bleed.”
He whimpered. Just the tiniest sound, but it damn near broke me. I grabbed the pillow and tossed it aside, scaring Salem from his hiding spot. The cat took off, streaking under the bed, but I barely noticed, as I pulled Oak into my arms. I’d meant just to hug him, to let him down easy, but then he straddled my lap and wound his arms around my neck.
This close, I could see the faintest smattering of freckles across his nose, and for just a second, I got lost in the ocean of his eyes. Before I could pull myself out of the trance, Oak spoke.
“That’s all bullshit. I mean, it’s not.” He made a frustrated sound, and then a sigh as he settled over my lap. I was half-hard and getting harder, and there was no mistaking he was in the same state. “Those reasons do matter. But that doesn’t mean we can’t besomething. I don’t want forever. I don’t even want strings. Just a little bit of you.”
Without input from my brain, my hands had drifted to his ass and I pulled him in closer, squeezing my fingers. He let out a low moan that fired my blood. I tilted my chin to bring our lips together, but before they touched, I whispered, “That could get really messy.”
“I think I like messy,” he murmured back.
I kissed him. Hard and full of want, devouring with lips and tongue. Oak didn’t hesitate to give back as good as he got, sliding his fingers into my hair so I couldn’t pull away. Not that I wanted to. I’d come here to make sure he was good, to make sure he knew why this was a bad idea all around. But all that resolve disappeared now. Because he was here, and squirming on my lap, and all thewantbubbled up and spilled over. Oak rocked his hips, our erections pressed together, and that was it, I was done. It was still a bad idea, but in that moment, I couldn’t see a reason why two adults couldn’t get off together when we both wanted it so badly.
I flipped him under me, pressing him down into the couch, and tore my lips from his so I could breathe. Oak’s whine was music to my ears and I grinned as I kissed along his jaw to his neck. The possessive part of me wanted to leave a mark so the whole world would know he was mine, that I’d done that, but I was smarter than that. I nosed the neckline of his shirt out of the way and sucked on his collar bone instead.
