“I felt like you were treating me like a…not a child, maybe. But that you thought I didn’t know my own mind. That I didn’t know what I wanted.” He shrugged. “It was like you were putting up barriers between us again and…”
I waited a few seconds to see if he was going to elaborate, but he didn’t. I threaded my fingers in his hair and lightly scratched his scalp. After another few moments, I gripped his hair gently and tilted back his head so I could see him.
“I think it’s fair to point out that you kept cutting me off, putting words into my mouth. I wasn’t able to explain my thought process.”
He blushed then, but I was glad he didn’t try to look away. “I maybe did that.”
I don’t know why I found that admission so cute, but I really fucking did. I bent, just to place a quick peck on his cheek, and then pulled back. I did my best to keep my expression soft and open.
“The conversation got a little derailed, that’s for sure. And I know it’s not always easy to talk about things. But I gotta be honest, baby. I need you to be able to talk to me. If you can’t, then this thing between us isn’t ever going to go anywhere.”
A complicated set of emotions raced across his features, almost too quick for me to sort out what I was seeing. Definitely some happiness but also a little bit of worry. Something else too, something I couldn’t put a name to, but my heart started pounding a little harder in my chest.
“Okay, two things,” Oak said, his gaze never leaving mine.
“What’s that?”
“Thing one, you called me baby.”
Shit. I hadn’t meant to do that. It just slipped out. “I’m sorry. I won’t do that if you don’t—”
“No!” Oak’s laugh was high and quick. “No. I want…it’s good. Fine. I like it.”
Well, that was a relief. I tried for an encouraging smile. “Good. And what’s the other thing?”
Oak cleared his throat. “That’s the first time you’ve ever talked about an ‘us’ and the future together.”
I blinked. Huh. Maybe that was true. I wasn’t sure when that had shifted in my brain. Maybe just in this moment, if I were completely honest. Did I still think we had a whole but of shit stacked against us? I did. There was no getting around that. But at the same time, there was also no denying how much I wanted him. Not just physically, but everything else too, all those obstacles be damned.
“I guess you’re right.” I adjusted our positions so we weren’t smooshed together anymore. Not because I didn’t want to touch him, but because I needed this to be said when we were on more even ground. “I’m done fighting this attraction. I like you. I want more with you. What that’s going to look like, exactly, I don’t know. But I want to try.”
He took a breath. “And you’re not hung up on the age gap anymore?”
I had to be honest. “A little bit, still. Not going to lie. I won’t ever lie to you.” I needed to make that clear and I stared him down, wanting that to be fully conveyed. He nodded. “But it’s a minor consideration, in the grand scheme. But, baby?”
Oak grinned at that, but his tone was a bit wary. “Yeah.”
“Open communication is a non-negotiable for me.”
He groaned, flopping sideways against the back of the couch, but he was laughing a little, and I couldn’t help but grin. “I knoooow.”
I tugged him closer again, and he came willingly, but I made sure we could still see each other. He was so dang pretty, and I really wanted to kiss him. I traced his lips with a finger instead, not sure if we were ready for that quite yet.
After a few moments, he spoke, his voice soft but sure. “I’m working on some things. In therapy, I mean. It turns out I might have a bit of trauma that needs unpacking and healing. Possibly.”
I chuckled because he was trying to cover with humor. And truth was, the way he said it was funny. I dipped down and kissed his nose, then the corner of his mouth. “You think?”
Oak’s expression sobered. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want things with you. Can’t have things with you. Just that I might be a little raw sometimes.”
I nodded. “Understandable. Maybe we hold off on—mfph.”
Oak slapped a hand against my mouth, cutting my words off. I glared, not really meaning it. He must have known it because he chortled and wiggled a little closer, but he still didn’t remove his hand.
“Nope. Take it slowly? Maybe. Hold off, hell no.” He shifted his hand and swiped his thumb over my lips, his gaze fixed there. “I think we just got our wires crossed that night. Both of us thinking something about the other. But if we just communicate with—oof!”
I pounced, driving him into the couch below me. “You little shit. Throwing my words back at me.”
His laughter was beautiful, a rich sound, and I just had to kiss him. Deeply, slowly, making him feelexactlyhow much I’d missed him this past week. It only took seconds for him to get onboard, kissing me back with just as much emotion. He whined low in his throat when I pulled back. But I didn’t pull away.
