“Okay,” I managed to whisper, then ended the call and stood up from the armchair I’d curled up in.
I was shaky. It had taken him some time to get here, but I still felt like a foal trying to stand up for the first time. I was contemplating trying to walk to the door, when it burst open and a wild-eyed Law stepped in, immediately scooping me into his arms.
“You’re okay, I’m here. You’re okay,” he repeated.
Should I have been okay now? Having him there? I thought so. Instead, I fell apart even more and found myself on his lap in that same chair I’d just vacated.
Law kept petting me and holding me, murmuring nonsensical things for comfort, and he never once asked what was going on with me.
At one point his phone dinged, and he carefully extracted it, then showed me the screen.
“Teague was there when I got your call so he must’ve alerted my brother. He asked if it was the kids while I was driving here,” Law murmured an explanation.
I’m glad the kids are okay.
“What do you want me to tell him? You know he’ll tell Teague.” Law sighed, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “I’m not sure what I said to you on the phone, what your uncle overheard, but I’m pretty sure they’ll figure out it can only be you that’s having a crisis.”
I took in a deep, hitchy breath. “You can tell him.”
Before he had time to type a message, Charlie sent another one.
Tell Oak we love him. Take care of my bestie.
For what it’s worth, if this is what you two consenting adults want, we’re fine with it.
The final one made me snort wetly.
But don’t think there won’t be a conversation.
I held my hand for the phone, then turned the camera on selfie mode and snapped a photo of my face with some of Law’s blue flannel shirt in the view so it was obvious where I was. I sent it to Charlie before giving the phone back.
Law put it away, then squeezed me impossibly closer. “Just let me know when you’re ready to go. You can ride with me and we’ll come get your car later, or I’ll drive back behind you. Whichever you feel like.”
I nodded and relaxed into his warmth. “My brain broke a bit today,” I said quietly. “It finally got the message that I was abused through most of my childhood in various ways.”
Law hummed thoughtfully, but stayed quiet. His arms tightened around me, and he pressed a kiss on the top of my head. I felt small and safe in the best way.
“I don’t know what it is about you that makes me feel safe even when my heart is doing these wild things I’ve never felt before,” I confessed. “Like… shouldn’t something so unpredictable and… and out of control feel scary?”
“I think… maybe the best things in life are like that in the beginning?” He chuckled. “I was terrified when we were expecting Harper. I had no idea what to do, no matter how much we wanted that baby.”
“She’s definitely one of the best things,” I agreed. Before Law had time to speak, I sighed. “You know, I’ve learned stuff in therapy. Doctor Marks is really good at what she does. She made me realize that the way I felt unheard by you and then lashedout? That was part of my trauma. That… that might actually be a trigger for me.”
He took my hand and slotted our fingers together. “Like if you say something and I question if you really mean what you’re saying?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I was neverheardas a child. Nothing I ever said mattered, because everything was dictated by the adults. If I wanted something they didn’t want to give, tough luck. If I didn’t want to do something they wanted me to do, it didn’t matter. And that was abouteverything, Law.”
“Is it too late to go to Utah to kick some asses?” Law’s growly tone would’ve been a turn on in a different situation.
“Probably not, but also yes. Maybe let’s not resort to violence?”
He relaxed underneath me, then squeezed me closer again, as if I’d moved any.
“If I ever make you feel like that, tell me, okay? I would never—”
“I know. Not on purpose. I… I didn’t know it was such a trigger until I felt completely unheard by you. It made me feel like shit.” I used my free hand to grab a tissue from the box on the nearby end table and blew my nose. “I feel icky.”
“Crying’ll do that to you.” Law kissed my forehead. “We need to get some food and water into you. Not necessarily in that order.”
