Permission granted, I eased in, telegraphing my actions so that I didn’t spook him further. But gentle went out the window the second my lips touched his and he instantly opened for me. I wanted to devour him, swallow him whole, and I showed him just how badly I wanted him with lips, teeth, and tongue. Mal gave in, let me control things, and took it. The tiniest whimper escaped him and it spurred me on.
Then it changed. Mal grabbed my hip with one hand and slid his other under the hem of my shirt. His touch felt so good and Iwanted more. I tilted his head back further but he was no longer just letting me kiss him. He was an active participant, taking just as much. I growled as I broke the kiss, nipped along his jaw, and latched onto his throat.
I only stayed there a second, to place a quick sucking kiss, conscious about not leaving marks where people could see. We hadn’t discussed it but I had a feeling he wouldn’t be too keen on the idea. Instead I went back to his mouth, practically attacking him as I arched into his touch. Mal got a leg between mine and used the leverage to spin me and back me into the wall. I got the impression he would have climbed me if he could.
I wanted to bend him over the nearest surface. While the thought wasn’t new, it did serve to jar me out of passion, considering what Mal had said. It took all my willpower to slow things down, gentle him, and break the kiss so we could breathe. Mal panted wetly against my lips. His brow crunched together.
“Now that,” I said, heaving a breath, “is a first kiss.”
Mal blinked back to himself and the pink that spread across his face made me chuckle. He cleared his throat and stepped back but I didn’t let him get far. Put a little distance between us, sure. Just enough so we could both think.
“Yeah. It was good.”
“Better than good.” I waggled my eyebrows and was rewarded when he cracked a smile. I popped a kiss on those upturned lips, then took his head, leading him toward the table. “I’d say we don’t have to worry about chemistry. At least not for kissing.”
Mal chewed his lip for a second. “About the rest of it. It's just—”
“Not a worry for tonight,” I assured him. I squeezed his hand. “Tonight is about eating together and conversating and just getting to know each other outside of the barns.”
Mal squinted at me. “Is conversating an actual word?”
I smirked. “Sure is. Now, the stew smells amazing so how about we eat?”
It took a moment for Mal to get back on track but then he insisted on serving me. The stew was rich and thick, and the beer ice cold. He also had a loaf of crusty bread that tasted just like my mom’s. When I made note of it, Mal admitted he’d asked for her recipe, which she shared, but also handed him a fresh loaf so that he didn’t have to worry about making it. It was exactly the kind of thing that my mom would do.
We ate in silence for a few minutes, though I made sure to let him know just how good I thought the stew was. Mal’s smile was a bit sheepish, as though he was pleased by the compliment but wasn’t comfortable taking it. I took a chance and squeezed his thigh. Then he let out a breath and his shoulders relaxed some.
“I don’t know how to do small talk,” Mal admitted quietly and then shoved a big bite in his mouth so that he didn’t have to say anything else. I kept the chuckle inside because I didn’t want him to think I was laughing at him.
“In general? Or on a date?” I tried for playful, but Mal’s scowl told me I missed the mark. I winked and his lips quirked up but it seemed like he was trying to fight it. I rubbed his thigh. “Look, let’s get the hard stuff out of the way. Considering you have a kid, I know you’ve had sex. You said you didn’t have much experience when it comes to men. I do. We’re gonna be fine because when we get to that part, we’ll do what feels right for us. It’s all about making sure we both feel good. I promise, it’ll all work out.”
Mal regarded me for a long moment, then leaned sideways, placed a lightning-fast kiss on my cheek, and said, “Okay. Good.”
“Good.” I was content to leave it at that for now, because just saying that, laying it out, he seemed more comfortable. I cast around for a topic, and my immediate thought was the colt and the other horses, or what he was doing now that he wasworking consistently with Hawk, but I discarded it all. Of course we would talk about those things in our life, but right in that moment, I wanted to avoid anything that reminded him that he worked for Blue Creek.
Instead I brought up what I thought was a safer topic. “Tell me about Pay. He’s too freaking cute, and I love the way he speaks with perfect diction. It’s not often you find a kid his age that does.”
Mal laughed, and his whole face brightened. There was no doubt he loved his child. “Yeah. I think it’s because I never used baby talk or like, a fake tone when I talked to him. From the second I brought him home, I always just spoke to him like another adult. When he started talking, a bit late, it was full sentences and in the same way. Not that he never mispronounces a word. But mostly, he’s spot on.”
I nodded. But the way he said “I brought him home” caught my attention. As delicately as I could, I asked, “If you don’t mind telling me, how is it that you became a single dad?”
He dunked a piece of bread in the gravy and chewed and swallowed before he answered. “It’s not a tragic tale. Not really. His mother, Vera, and I…” He took a pull off his bottle and set it down carefully. I could practically see his mind working as he chose his words. “We weren’t in love but we cared about each other a lot. Pay was a surprise. Sometimes, even if you’re using two forms of birth control, things happen. What’s the saying ‘life finds a way’?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, it sure does.”
“Yeah, so.” He shrugged. “I just figured it meant Pay was meant to be here, you know? Vera didn’t want kids, but I got attached the moment she told me. Still, her body, her choice. She didn’t want an abortion. Never even considered it. But if I wasn’t willing to raise him, she was thinking about adoption. But like I said, I already loved him.”
I nodded and squeezed his leg, letting him know I was listening. When he didn’t continue, I gently prodded him. “I get the impression she’s not in the picture anymore?”
Mal shook his head. “She tried, you know. For a bit. Four months or so. She’s not a bad person. Not really. Just didn’t want to be a mom or any of the responsibility that came with a kid. Before she left town, she made sure she gave up all her parental rights so at least things would be easier for me. She’s off living her best life and so am I.”
My heart warmed at his phrasing. I really liked the idea that he thought that he was living a good life. Of course, he probably meant that he got to be a dad to that awesome kid, but I liked to think that being here at Blue Creek, and here with me, made a difference.
“You got the better deal, I think.” I slid my hand a little higher, just to test the waters. Mal spread his knees a bit. Yeah, he definitely liked my touch. Which was good, because I was a fan of physical affection. “And considering Pay’s relationship with his nana, I’m guessing your mom helped out.”
He groaned, but he was laughing too. “Yeah. Those first few months, especially after Vera left, were rough. I was twenty-one and had no idea what to do with a human baby. Calf or foal? No question. I had it covered. But a baby was something else. Without her, or even my father in the beginning, I would have been lost.”
Which opened the door to something else I’d been curious about since the moment I met him. I debated with myself if I should even ask. After a few seconds, I decided to go ahead and ask, and he could answer if he wanted to.
