“Yeah, exactly like that.”
“Okay!” And off he went.
“I didn’t know you’d had that conversation,” Crew said quietly when Payton bounced ahead.
“He asked what it meant to be boyfriends.” I shrugged. “So I told him.”
“And this includes adult sleepovers?” He smiled at me, squeezing my hand that I hadn’t even realized he’d grabbed at some point. Or maybe I’d taken his.
“I mean, yes.” I stopped and turned to face him. “Just so you know, I also told him that being boyfriends can lead to falling in love and wanting to stay together forever.”
A happiness like nothing I’d seen before flared to life in Crew’s eyes. “Oh, really?”
“Uh-huh.” I leaned in to kiss him.
“Stop canoeing! I want to watch a movie before bed!” Payton yelled from way ahead of us.
I laughed and rested my forehead against Crew’s shoulder. He shook with laughter, too.
“Do you mean canoodling?” I yelled back.
“I dunno! That’s what Uncle Emery called it when Mrs. Jenn and Mr. Mike were kissing!” His voice kept getting farther away as he spoke.
“Let’s go. We can canoe later.” He tugged me into motion.
Later, after Payton was in bed, Crew pulled me into his arms and held me for a while.
I’d started to calm down during the dinner, and his embrace was just tight enough to pull me back together the rest of the way.
I was pretty sure I’d still get triggered by people like Kathy, but I couldn’t control them. They didn’t know me, nor did they know the Harringtons. Not for real, because if they had, they’d know nobody would ever be able to sneak their way into this family, especially nobody who was malicious in any way.
Accidents happened. I just needed to concentrate on the happy ones.
Chapter 24
Crew
Between daycare, the trip to the library, visiting the magpies, and then a packed and boisterous family dinner, Payton was exhausted. He didn’t make it through half the movie before he conked out. Mal had the foresight to get Payton in the bath and dress him in pajamas before we sat down to watch Mulan. Again. It was his favorite, and I loved that he was into the older movies.
What did surprise me was that Payton chose to snuggle up with me once we sat on the couch. He used Mr. Raven as a pillow and he smelled like kid shampoo. Though he tucked himself into my side, he placed his bare little feet in his father’s lap. When he fell asleep, I just hugged him a little closer and we let the movie finish before taking him to bed.
“I got him,” I whispered, scooping him up and ignoring Mal’s fond smile. Payton still did that thing that sleeping children did, the deadweight flop, and barely even stirred as I lifted him to myshoulder. Mr. Raven fell to the ground, and I bent my knees to grab it.
Payton needed his comfort stuffie.
Mal led the way to Payton’s bed and pulled back the covers. I laid the boy down as gently as possible while Mal turned on the sound machine and Payton starfished out. I held in the chuckle as I tucked Mr. Raven against his side. When I stepped back, Mal knelt down to cover up his son and kiss his forehead. I backed up and watched from the doorway, loving the sight.
I really hoped Mal would be open to having more children one day. But even if he wasn’t, watching him with Payton fed my soul.
Mal joined me and we watched the sleeping child for just a few seconds before he nudged me through the door and into his room. He slid the door shut, leaving it cracked just an inch or so. Then he looked at me as though he didn’t know what to do.
“It’s still kind of early,” I said, keeping my voice low. It wasn’t even ten yet, and though we were definitely the type to go to sleep earlier rather than later, it wasn’t usuallythisearly. “You wanna get in bed or go back to the couch?”
Mal bit the inside of his cheek, eyes big, as he contemplated how to answer. “We can’t, you know, do anything. Not with him so close.”
I chuckled quietly and cupped his face. I loved the way he leaned into my hands, his lids falling half closed. “I know. And we’ll have to figure out the lack of space thing soon. I have some ideas about that. But I’ll save it for later.”
The corner of Mal’s mouth quirked up. “Are you planning for the future, Crew?”
