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When dinner is finished, a band launches into its first set and everyone moves to the makeshift dance floor in the center of Mum’s well-kept garden. Of course, I get first dance with the guest of honor. “Is this how every new member is welcomed?”
“Only you.”
She’s smiling. “I feel very special.”
“You should—because you are.” I kiss her forehead. I want to tell her I love her but, again, this isn’t the right time. It shouldn’t happen in front of the entire brotherhood.
“There are a lot of people here. Are they all Fellowship?” she asks.
“Mostly. If they aren’t in the brotherhood, they’re comrades. They were invited because it’s necessary they know you.”
“I’ll never remember all these people.”
“You will in time.” I say it as though she’ll be around forever but we both know that isn’t the case. That’ll be a whole new problem to deal with when the time comes. I don’t wish to think about it right now. I’m too happy.
The song ends and I’m forced to give up my lass so she may dance and mingle among her new family, leaving my dance card open. Westlyn gets up from her chair and walks in my direction so I grab the closest lass I can find.
“Is this your way of asking me to dance?” Lorna says.
“This is my way of telling you we are.”
“Then I guess we’re dancing.” We sway to the music as my eyes search the crowd for Bleu. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop being uneasy when she’s out of my sight. “You’ve surprised me—and every other member of the brotherhood.”
“How so?”
“You took a huge leap for Bleu,” Lorna says.
“Aye.”
“It’s nice to know you aren’t all heartless.”
Is she referring to Leith? “Bleu told me about your feelings for Leith.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I’m talking about you being in love with him.”
This time she doesn’t deny it. “He doesn’t know I exist except to put me on the work schedule.”
He used to know she existed because he got into her knickers often. We all did. But I had no idea I wasn’t the only one no longer banging her. “You don’t shag anymore?”
She looks at the floor, shaking her head. “Not since he walked in on me and you almost two years ago. Things became really weird between us after that.”
I knew Leith saw us but he never mentioned it. And I never gave it another thought since all three of us were having fun with her.
“We have a working relationship. That’s it—unless he’s been on the whisky. He loosens up around me a little then.”
How strange. “Should I talk to him?”
“No. He’s clearly disgusted by me, so I don’t want him to know how I feel.”
“But he may feel the same.”
“He doesn’t. Trust me. He knows he could have me anytime he wants but chooses not to.”
Bleu has made me a little more romantic, so I feel like passing along some advice to Lorna. “I’m going to tell you something about men in general. We’re selfish, possessive bastards when it comes to our women. We don’t want other men having them. If you want Leith, don’t sleep around.”
“I haven’t since that day.”
“You haven’t had sex with anyone in almost two years?”
She shakes her head. “The look on his face when he saw us—it haunts me. I’m not sure I can ever be with anyone else again.”
Is Lorna who Leith was talking about when we were in the ring together? He said I always took everything he wanted. At the time, I had no idea what he was talking about, but now I may.
The song ends. “I’m sorry.” I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for. “Let me know if you decide you’d like me to talk to him.”
She looks like she may cry. “That’ll never happen, but thanks for the offer.”
I dance with numerous Fellowship daughters, some behaving as though they’re in mourning. I suppose they could feel as though the dream of marrying the future Fellowship leader is dead. But it’s the role they’re in love with, not me.
I come face to face with Westlyn so I’m forced to dance with her. To avoid her would make the situation more awkward. I take her in my arms the way I have hundreds of times but this dance is different. She was hoping to be my wife, and I’ve rejected her.
“Are you enjoying the party?” I call it that instead of what it really is. I don’t wish to make her feel bad. She’s my cousin. We grew up together so I love her. I’d never want to hurt her.
“Everything is beautiful. Aunt Isobel went all out.”
“She did. Exceedingly so, I’m afraid.”
“She should have. It isn’t every day the future leader of The Fellowship volunteers himself to be beaten in place of the woman he loves so she can become part of his world.”
“I’m sorry for how this played out.” I’m apologizing again for something I don’t understand. “I had no idea how you felt.”
She looks confused. “How I felt about what?”
“You were planning to be my wife.”
“God, no, Sin. I could never marry you. My father is the one who planned on me being your wife. Not me.” She leans back to get a better look at my face. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me tonight?”
“The very reason.”
“No. Dad came up with that. I’m not at all interested in climbing the chain of command. That’s all him. I’d probably leave The Fellowship if I had a choice.”
“God, I couldn’t be more relieved.” I adore Westlyn. She grew up tagging along behind me, Jamie, and Leith, so this misunderstanding has been incredibly unsettling for me.
“I’m happy to have that cleared up.”
“Me too,” I agree.
“I’m very much looking forward to becoming friends with Bleu. I’ve never been allowed to socialize with anyone not from within the brotherhood.”
“She’ll be very happy about that. I’m afraid she’s been here for months and has no friends—except Mum. I’m sure she’d like some her own age.”
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“I’d love for you to introduce us later.”
“Absolutely.”
“I have a confession,” West says.
“Aye?”
“I don’t plan on marrying a man from The Fellowship.”
Oh, shite. “You must know your father will never allow you to take a husband from outside the brotherhood.”
“I don’t really care what Dad has to say about it.”
Are my actions responsible for her decision? “When did you decide this?”
“Years ago. It has nothing to do with you and Bleu.”
Abram will never see it that way. Not only have I rejected his daughter as my wife, he’ll now blame me for putting this idea into her head. “Do us both a favor and wait a while before you drop this bomb.”
“No worries. I have no prospects at the moment. No need to stir trouble yet.”
Aye. I have enough problems as it is.
Abram isn’t finished with me and Bleu. I’m certain of that. All I can do is lie in wait, bracing for his next move. Because it’s coming.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Bleu MacAllister
It’s official. I’m a Fellowship member, going on two weeks now. I’m completely and utterly in love with its future leader. I want to be with him forever. Undeniably, this isn’t ideal. It’s stupid and reckless but it’s what I’ve chosen because I refuse to live without him.
And Harry can never know. He’d die of a coronary before the cancer had a chance to take him.
I’m undecided about my plans for Thane. I only know one thing: I still plan to kill him. But it won’t be soon. I’m not ready to force Sin into his leadership role.
Clearly, my original plan has gone to shit. But … shit happens.
I have a dying father four thousand miles away and I’ll need to return home to him soon. No exceptions. I spoke to Ellison yesterday and she tells me Harry is declining. It’s expected, but I need to introduce the idea of going back to the US for a little while. And I know exactly how I’ll do it.
Sin is working in his office. I stand in the doorway and take a moment to admire how handsome he is before disturbing him. He’s still wearing his clothes from work, minus the jacket and tie. He’s rolled the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows and is wearing his reading glasses. Mmm … I was right. He’s hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a forest fire.
