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She arches her right brow. I think that means she’s impressed. Or interested. “That’s very high.”
This isn’t new information for Bleu. She understands what these numbers mean. “Of live births, fifty-three percent were single babies while forty-seven percent were twins.”
“That’s a really high twin rate,” she says, looking over the statistics. “They must know what they’re doing.”
“I want to pursue this but not if you aren’t on board.” This is our decision, but it’s her body. She has to want this or it’s a no-go. “This isn’t your happy face.”
She sighs. “I have mixed feelings.”
“Tell me about them.”
“I’m not at all prepared to be someone’s mother right now. The thought of a little person depending on me is terrifying.”
She’s scared. I get it. The whole thing is frightening for me too. “I’m guessing it’s not at all unusual to feel that way. I’ll bet we could ask a dozen parents and they’d all say parenthood scared the shit out of them.”
I need to remind her what an appointment with a fertility specialist would mean at this point. “It would just be a consult—a meeting to discuss our best option for having a baby in the future.”
“But the other end of the spectrum scares me too. They could confirm I’ll never be able to have one.”
“You mean they could tell us.” Her fertility issues are my fertility issues. We’re in this together.
I put my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. “I married you knowing we might never have children of our own and I’m okay with that. We can always adopt.”
“The Fellowship is going to want a blood successor. But you knew that as well when you married a woman who might not be able to give you a child of your own.”
“In case you forgot, I married you anyway.” My love for Bleu exceeds any obligations The Fellowship may have for me. “Fuck The Fellowship. They don’t get a say in our personal lives.”
“That’s just not true.” She sighs. “Like it or not, they’ll always have a say about each and every part of our lives.”
They can say what they like. Doesn’t mean I’ll jump each time they command. “Then it’s a good thing I’ll be their leader and can tell them to shove it all up their arses.” Finally, I earn a smile from Bleu. “Because I will if the circumstances call for it.”
The corners of her mouth curl deeper. “And I love you dearly for that.”
I’m not sure she believes my promise but at least her mood seems to be more agreeable. “Is it all right to push forward with making the appointment? It’s possible there could be a waiting list.”
“It’s probably a good idea. I’ve been having a lot of pain.”
I had no idea. “Why haven’t you told me?”
She shrugs. “We were getting married. Dad was dying. We were moving across an ocean. It could be any number of reasons. Pick one.”
“We’re never too busy to address something as important as your health. Don’t keep me in the dark about such things again. Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Good. I’ll call tomorrow and make the arrangements since it’ll need to be scheduled around my work.”
Bleu slides down in the bed and I move over her until she’s situated perfectly beneath me. I hover above, my weight supported by my elbows pressed into the mattress, so I can look at her face.
“I’ve been told most of my adult life that I’d likely never be able to have children. After you hear it so many times, you have no choice but to believe it. I mourned it as a loss, because to me, it was the death of a dream. But I came to accept it. Now there’s a small ray of hope dancing around my heart and I’m terrified of the pain that could accompany another disappointment.”
“I want us to go into this with nothing but a positive attitude while keeping in mind that no matter how things turn out, I will love you.”
“I can’t believe I have this incredible man in my life with the power to possibly change my fate.”
“Your fate is my destiny. Always.”
Chapter Eleven
Bleu Breckenridge
It’s midnight on a weeknight so we’re asleep when the doorbell rings. Someone showing up here at this time can only mean one thing. Something Fellowship-related has happened.
This is our life. My husband gets yanked from our bed at all hours of the night. I knew what I was getting into when I married him. And I’d do it again.
Sin leaves the bed. When he doesn’t return, I get up to see what’s happening.
We returned to Edinburgh three weeks ago. I’ve managed to avoid my nemesis, the devil himself, until now.
He smirks when he spots me standing in the doorway.
“Ah! There she is. My lovely niece, the newest Mrs. Breckenridge. Come, lass. Give your uncle a hug.” He may be a charming psychopath with the ability to fool some but I don’t mistake the contempt in his tone.
If he wants to play the charm game, I’m up for it. I’m quite gifted at becoming whoever I need to be. But he knows that.
“Hello, Abram.” I hug him tightly. “I hope all is well.”
“I’m afraid not, love. That’s why I’ve come at this late hour.”
God, he’s laying it on thick. Makes me want to puke. I hope Sin isn’t mistaking this for sincerity.
“I’m sorry to disturb you. I know you’re still in the honeymoon phase but I must borrow your husband for a while. Uninvited guests have been seen at one of our warehouses. We need to secure it.”
“Give me a minute to dress and I’ll be ready to go,” Sin says.
“Of course.”
I’m left alone with Abram. I can’t wait to see how he uses this time with me.
“Congratulations on your nuptials.”
Damn liar. “I don’t believe for a second that you’re happy about my marriage to Sin.”
He laughs. “You are a frisky little thing. I would bet money your spicy personality directly reflects in the bedroom. Is that why my nephew was so willing to do anything to make you his?”
I fight the temptation to put Abram on his knees. “You didn’t come here because you want to wish me your best or discuss my sex life with my husband.”
“You’re right. I have no well wishes for you and the way you fuck is none of my concern. However, I do have an interest in what brought you to Edinburgh in the first place.”
Sin says we don’t owe Abram an explanation. He hasn’t told him anything and I don’t have to, either. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Cut the shit, Mrs. Breckenridge. You’re an FBI agent who fucked your way into The Fellowship. You got my nephew to marry you. That’s no coincidence.”
Abram’s spoiled. He’s privy to knowing everything about everyone within The Fellowship. Until me. He must feel very threatened by that.
A threatened animal is dangerous. I probably shouldn’t rattle his cage. But I will anyway. “Wouldn’t you love to know my motives?”
“Listen, little lass. I’ve been in this family fifty-three years. You’ve been here five minutes. It’s a mistake to think you’ll best me. You won’t win.”
I grin as I laugh. He isn’t getting under my skin. “I love Sinclair and he loves me. That’s all you need to know.”
“Your mother did the same thing with Thane as what you’re doing with Sinclair now.”
I shake my head. “You still believe I’m Amanda Lawrence’s daughter.”
“My dear Stella Bleu Lawrence … I could tell you all the details you want to know about your mother’s death. I know everything. Who. Why.”
He’s bluffing. If he knew anything, he’d have told Thane years ago. He wouldn’t suddenly decide to give up the goods to a woman he doesn’t know. It’s a trap to make me admit I’m Amanda Lawrence’s daughter. But it won’t work.
“I would think you’d have already shared those details with your brother if you knew anything.” I grin, calling his bluff.
Sin returns and we both go silent.
“Ready.”
My husband comes to me and cradles me in his arms. “You know the routine.”
“I know. Don’t expect you before morning.”
He kisses me quickly. Nothing like what he’d give me if Abram weren’t here.
“Come back to me safely.”
“Always.”
He moves his mouth over my ear. “Be naked and waiting for me.”
Sin has a new obsession. He wants sex, the frisky kind, when he comes home from being out on business. He’s a beast. I’m not sure what’s brought it on but I like it.
“Naked, wet, and wanting. That’s how you’ll find me when you return.”
“Perfect.”
* * *
