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Anyone else would’ve taken me to a shrink. “Why didn’t you try to convince Dad that I needed psychological help?”
“Someone murdered your mother and then left you for dead. I don’t think anger and a drive for retaliation are irrational reactions. It’s not as though you asked him to teach you how to kill an innocent person. I saw it as another form of justice.”
Realization hits me. “You encouraged him to train me.”
“Yes. Harry and I made a lot of decisions together about the proper way to train a young girl.”
Debra has kept up with me all these years. It’s all so clear now.
“I’ve watched you from afar for a long time. I was very happy when you reached out to me,” Debra says
I don’t know how I didn’t see this before. “Harry asked me to watch over you while you were undercover within The Fellowship.”
Then she saw everything. “You had to know that I was seducing Sin.”
She laughs. “I saw that coming from a mile away.”
“Thank you for not telling Dad.” He would’ve completely flipped out. Probably would’ve gotten out of his hospital bed and come to Edinburgh to kill me and Sin.
“I’ve been there, Bleu. We all do what we have to in order to get the job done. Harry knew that, but it all went out the window when it came to you. You were his little girl.”
“Always will be.”
Debra leaves and first thing on my agenda is the quick daily shower my doctor granted me. For the first time in a while, I don’t dress in yogas and a T-shirt. I have an engagement for the night.
The last three weeks of my life have been spent in one of two places: the bed or the sofa. Not fun. It’s enough to nearly send anyone over the edge. That’s why I’m so excited about hanging out and having girl time with my sister and friends.
But I’m sad. Lainie has made the decision to leave us. She fears The Order will discover her whereabouts, putting me and my babies in danger. Being in Edinburgh probably isn’t the safest place for my new friend, but I will miss her terribly. At least Sin was able to negotiate a safe place for her in Dublin with The Guild. That means I’ll still be able to see her.
Sin is such a sweetheart. So thoughtful. He has arranged a girls’ night in with my friends during his Fellowship meeting this evening as a going-away party for Lainie. He bought four bottles of wine, plus a sparkling grape juice for me so I don’t feel left out. He even arranged for Agnes to prepare hors d’oeuvres for us.
He’s so good to me. And patient. I’ll need to find a way to thank him for his thoughtfulness. I think I have just the thing in mind.
Of course I’m only allowed to move from lying in bed to lying on the sofa. But I’ll take it without complaint. I’ve missed Westlyn and Lorna and our weekly girls’ night out to the casino or to dinner. They’re the ones I turn to when I need to giggle and have girlie conversation. Female friends. Something I’ve never had before. But I consider them my best friends aside from Ellison. I feel like I’ve missed a lot over the last few weeks, so I’m excited to catch up with what’s happening in their lives.
Lorna is sitting on the couch, opposite me, my feet in her lap. She’s painting my toenails. “Like?”
I let her pick the color. Bad decision. She went with flamingo pink. Yuck.
I hold my foot up, wiggling my toes. “It looks girlie. I probably would’ve chosen black. Or maybe a dark gray.”
“I went with pink because I’m pulling for girls.”
“Ellison wants girls so she can spoil them rotten. She says boys will be little mean asses.”
“Oh, I’m spoiling them either way,” Ellison says.
“They’ll be precious if they’re anything like their father. Sin was a sweet little boy. Always so kind to me,” Westlyn says.
Lorna taps my ankle. “Pull your shirt up so we can see your belly.”
I’m thankful the bruises covering my body are almost gone so I don’t feel self-conscious showing them.
I pull it up but there’s nothing impressive to see. I’m only ten weeks so my bump’s maybe the size of a large orange. “Got a long way to go.”
“I hope you have two girls because I don’t want to see Sin take a boy from you. My mum told me how heartbreaking it was for Aunt Isobel to lose him and Mitch.”
Oh my God. Tell me Westlyn didn’t just say that in front of my sister who knows nothing about The Fellowship or what she’s talking about.
I suspected having Ellison here long-term without telling her about The Fellowship would become a problem at some point, but it was a risk I was willing to take. I’m still not ready to make Ellison a part of this.
Ellison instantly perks up. “Sin would never take their son from Bleu. He adores my sister. Plus he knows she’d kick his ass before letting that happen.”
Think fast, Bleu.
“Westlyn didn’t mean that literally. Just that she hoped I had a girl so we’d have a mother-daughter bond. Isn’t that right?” I lift my brows and bug my eyes at her.
“Exactly.” Westlyn nods. “Of course I wasn’t suggesting Sin would do something so vile.”
Ellison seems satisfied with our explanations since she says nothing more about it. Disaster averted. For now.
Lainie chooses one of the opened bottles of white wine and refills her glass. “It’s too bad you can’t have some of this, Bleu. It’s really good.”
“It’s okay. I’m not much of a wine drinker. I prefer Johnnie Walker.”
“You and Sin both,” Lorna says.
Lainie holds out the bottle. “Anyone need a refill?”
Ellison takes it and inspects the label. “You remember the girl who used to sing for Southern Ophelia? She quit because she married a guy from Australia. A winemaker. This is from his vineyard. Do you know who I’m talking about, Bleu?”
“Yeah.”
“I saw Southern Ophelia perform at Coyote Ugly when they were first starting out. Long before they hit it big. Do you have any of their old music when she was still singing with them?”
“Yeah, but I think they only put out one album before she left.”
“Put it on. I haven’t listened to them in a while.”
I connect my phone via Bluetooth to the speaker on the bookcase. I scroll through my music and play my favorite Southern Ophelia song, “Without a Goodbye.” I wore this song out while Sin and I were apart—it fit us so perfectly. “This is their best one, in my opinion.”
“Yes! I remember this one. So good, so good.”
I doubt Westlyn, Lorna, and Lainie are familiar with it. “Ladies, this is country music at its best.”
“Turn it up, Bleu. Loud.”
My three friends listen to me and Ellison sing the chorus in unison. I think it’s very possible that Ellison is a worse singer than I am.
“You lasses look like you’re having a lot of fun.” Agnes comes into the living room and places a tray of food on the cocktail table. “Mini ham and haddie pies. Scotch eggs and barbecued piggy scallops. There’s more in the kitchen when you finish these off.”
“Thank you, Agnes. Everything looks delicious.”
“I’ll be off now. Enjoy your night, lasses.”
Ellison examines the cuisine Agnes has prepared. I can tell she doesn’t find it appealing. “What the hell is this? I’ve never heard of any of it. And it looks as fucked up as a bologna Pop-Tart.”
Oh God. At least she waited until Agnes left to express her distaste. I’d shit twice and die if she heard her say that.
“These are bacon-wrapped scallops. Nothing
weird. And those are Scotch eggs. Just boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat and breadcrumbs. Sort of like an egg-stuffed meatball. Agnes’s are really good. But I’m not sure about the ham and haddie pies. I’ve never had those before.”
Westlyn grabs one and pops it into her mouth. “My mum cooks these at least once a month. They’re made with smoked haddock and bacon. The pie portion is breadcrumbs and grated Scottish cheddar cheese. These are quite delicious—even better than my mum’s, although I’ll never tell her that.”
I’m really looking forward to catching up with Westlyn. “I haven’t seen you much this semester. Tell us everything about uni.”
Westlyn puffs her cheeks out and crosses her eyes. “Economics is tough. I’m not really sure why I chose that as my contribution.”
“What about life outside of studies?”
“That’s actually pretty spectacular.” I’m guessing that being at the university is probably Westlyn’s first opportunity at socializing with people outside of The Fellowship.
I recognize her goofy expression. I saw it on my own face several months ago. “I only know of one thing that would make school spectacular.”
Westlyn bites her bottom lip, likely to keep herself from grinning. It doesn’t work.
“You’ve met someone,” I say.
She shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”
People don’t look the way she does over nothing. “Your smile says otherwise.”
“He’s just a guy I have some classes with. We’ve talked a few times. It’s no big deal.”
“Is he cute?”
“Extremely.”
“Does he make a point to sit next to you?”
“Aye.”
He sounds like he’s into her. “But he hasn’t asked you out?”
“No, but I get the feeling he wants to.”
“Nothing is wrong with you asking him out,” Ellison says. I’m not at all surprised she would encourage Westlyn to do so.
She shrugs. “I’ve never done that before. I wouldn’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to it. Just ask him if he wants to go out sometime. He’ll say yes. You’ll go to dinner and a movie. Or whatever you do on dates here. Then you’ll find somewhere to fool around,” Ellison says.
