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“All right. Done with the measurements. It’s fun time.”
“Yes!” Ellison claps, reminding me of a two-year-old about to get a cookie. “Auntie Elli finally gets to see her babies.”
She gets up and goes around to the monitor of the machine. “Oh my God. They look like they’re butting heads.”
“I hear siblings do that from time to time.”
“They’re starting awful early.”
She studies the screen intently, never taking her eyes away from the babies. “Are you trying to see what they are?”
“Of course not.”
“Yes you are.” I don’t know how familiar Ellison’s ER experience makes her with OB sonograms, but it’s possible she knows just enough to be able to read them. “Stop or I’m going to make you leave.”
“Bleu. All I’m doing is looking at the babies, same as you.”
She tries to look innocent but I can see the little devil sitting on her shoulder whispering in ear. “Get your ass over here and sit down. Now.”
She takes her seat but she’s wearing a shit grin. “You saw, didn’t you?”
“Yes! But I could only make out one.”
Now I’m pissed off. And maybe a little jealous. She shouldn’t know what my babies are––or one of them––if I don’t.
“If you change your mind about knowing, all you have to do is ask.”
“No. And if you let it slip, I swear I’ll never forgive you.”
“I won’t. Promise.”
She’s never been able to keep her mouth shut in her life. I suspect now won’t be any different.
We leave my OB appointment and I’m feeling especially sulky. “I’m sorry, Bleu. I know you think I was trying to purposely see but I wasn’t. It popped up when she moved the wand. And I could be wrong. I’m not even that familiar with reading them.”
I can’t tell if she’s telling the truth or backpedaling. “Let’s not talk about it anymore.”
“How about lunch? Or maybe shopping?” she says.
Lunch sounds awesome. I know exactly what I want. Haggis.
I take Ellison to my favorite quick service restaurant. She isn’t nearly as in love with the items on the menu as I am.
Our plates arrive and she stares at my food. “That is the nastiest-looking shit I’ve ever seen.”
“I thought so too until I got pregnant. Now I crave it all the time.” It’s crazy.
“That’s just wrong, whatever that is.”
I hold out a bite on my fork in her direction. I know it disgusts her. That’s sort of why I’m doing it. “It’s good. Want a try?”
“Hell no,” she snarls.
“All the more for me, then.”
Ellison leans away and puts her fork down.
“What’s wrong? Burger not good?”
“It’s fine.”
Something’s up. “You aren’t eating.”
“I can’t stop thinking about the babies and how I’ll miss everything if I leave.”
I wanted Ellison to be the one to bring this up when she was ready. I guess this means it’s time. “You already know I want you here. Sin wants you to stay too.” I sort of suspect Jamie wants her to stick around as well.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I don’t think I can leave.”
“Is this your way of telling me you’ve decided to remain in Edinburgh?”
“I think so.”
“Temporarily?”
“I want to stay long-term.”
That means she must become a member. “As one of us?”
She shrugs. “There’s a lot to work out where that’s concerned so I guess that all depends.”
Ellison will always be safe from harm by The Fellowship. She’s my sister but our familial ties don’t obligate the brotherhood to protect her from harm by anyone else. That’s a precarious situation to be in since her affiliation with us places her in danger.
She knows there’s no bigger advocate for women’s equality than me, but the truth is that she’s going to need a Fellowship member to step forward and take responsibility for her. “I wish I could’ve taken you to Sin’s swearing-in ceremony. It would’ve been the perfect opportunity to meet every bachelor within The Fellowship.”
“It feels weird knowing I’ll be looking for a man to volunteer to be beaten nearly to death for me. I don’t feel right about that.”
“Endurance is normal practice for The Fellowship. It’s a harsh way to weed out the weak, so know that only a strong man will come forward to claim you.”
“I definitely want someone strong if I’m going to do this.”
I’m not really sure there are weaklings in The Fellowship. “No worries. Sin will make sure he finds you a great match.”
“My brother-in-law finding a husband for me doesn’t sound the least bit romantic. Or hot.”
I guess not unless you look at whom she could end up with. “Even if he’s somebody like Jamie?”
“I can’t say I’d mind being with someone like him.”
“What if you were matched with him?” Jamie isn’t in a relationship. He’s available as far as I know.
“You already know I find him drool-worthy but I don’t think he’s attracted to me.”
Ellison is beautiful. And so funny. I’m actually sort of surprised Jamie hasn’t already made a move for her. “What makes you say that?”
“He’s shown no interest.”
Ellison doesn’t understand the brotherhood. “The world of The Fellowship is a complicated one. No brother strays outside of it for a woman without chancing a harsh punishment.”
“How will I find a potential mate if I’m not one of you but can’t become part of The Fellowship until someone claims me?”
It’s sort of a chicken-or-the-egg conundrum. “Valid question. I think we should have some sort of social event so you can meet the brotherhood bachelors.”
“Brotherhood bachelors. Should be a reality show.”
Umm … no. “I think not.”
I sit back in my seat and tug on my tunic. “I can’t avoid buying real maternity clothes any longer. I’ve outgrown all my loose-fitting, stretchy stuff.”
“Ugh! The dreaded pregnancy wardrobe. Don’t you dare buy those damn maternity overalls.”
God, those things are fugly.
“If I can’t buy anything for the babies, then maybe getting you some stuff will suffice. Let’s shop before we go home. I’m sure Kyle and Blare would love nothing more than to accompany us to a mommy-and-me store.”
“They’ll hate me hard if I make them do that.”
“They must have done something really bad to have been assigned to guarding you.”
I’m sure it’s the opposite. “I imagine they did something really right. My husband didn’t choose them to watch over me and his children because they’ve proven themselves useless.”
“They both look mean as hell. What do you think they’ve done?”
I look at my two protectors sitting three tables away. They remind me of military men. Short hair. Muscular. Stone-faced. Content to keep quiet. “They’ve killed. A lot.”
“You think?”
“No doubt.”
“Has Sin killed?”
I debate answering that question but decide she should know the truth if she’s staying. “Yes. And if you join us, your husband will too. You’d better make damn sure you’re prepared to handle that part of his life. There will be times when he needs to confide the things he’s done. He may even cry like a baby on your shoulder because it’s become too much to handle. And you’ll let him. You’ll be the light delivering him from the dark. The beauty of the ugliness is that it’ll bring you closer.”
“I’m guessing the first time would be the worst. How did you handle it?”
“Sin went after three men who’d beaten and raped Alanna, the girl from our self-defense class. Once he told me the horrid things they did to her, I knew he was doing the only thing he could––taking care of his own. I was glad to be with a man who would avenge a wrong committed against an innocent young girl. It made me wonder how different I might have turned out if someone like him had done something like that for me.”
“I hate what happened to you, but it molded you into who you are today. I happen to like that person very much.”
“I feel like I’ve hidden my true self from you my entire life. I’m happy you finally get to know the real me.”
“I’ve always known the real you. All of this other stuff is just details.”
* * *
Ellison places one of my new maternity dresses on a hanger. It’s the black one embellished with metallic beading on the neckline. “This is so cute. I think you can wear it with leggings after the babies are born.”
