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“We’ll determine that. We can’t keep them all locked up indefinitely. Not only because it’s just not who we are, but we can’t spare the men or the supplies. I have to see the locations first, so Duncan’s going to take me. But it seems like a good solution.”
“Not Hargrove or Carter.” He sent her one fierce look. “Not those two. I’m laying down a line there.”
“You don’t need to. They’ll live out their lives in prison. I’m going to look, then when we all meet in New Hope, Duncan and I will present the plan to all the commanders. We need to look ahead, Colin. Not just to the next battle, but to the world we want at the end of it.”
“You worry about the world. I’ll worry about the next battle.” He shrugged, paced.
Moved like a solider, she thought, looked like one with the tough build, the straight back, the warrior’s braid. The soldier had always been in there, in the annoying and beloved brother who collected odd treasures and loved basketball.
She started to say just that when he glanced back at her over his shoulder.
“So, you and Duncan.”
“He’s already been to the islands, and Mallick’s on R and R so he’ll give me the tour, and we’ll see.”
“Yeah, yeah, I mean you and Duncan finally did the deed. Got, you know, down to it.”
“What?” Shock came first, then the bone-deep embarrassment only a sister can feel when faced with a grinning brother. “How do you know?”
“Shit, Fallon, everybody knows. It was like the freaking sun exploded. And did you look out here?” He jerked a thumb to the window. “That tree behind the memorial stone.”
“What do you mean everybody knows? What does a tree have to do with—” She looked now. “A tree of life,” she murmured.
It bloomed, like the one at Mallick’s cottage, full of flower and fruit.
“I’d’ve been cool with it anyway. He’s a good guy. But it’s hard to argue with shit like that. Dad now.”
“Let’s not go there. I need to see the islands and get back to New Hope. Don’t let Travis take on too much. It’s harder on him. He feels . . . everything.”
“I’ve got him.” He added a smug smile. “He’d have felt it when I short-sheeted his bed last night, and that’ll have him working out how to pay me back.”
Brothers, she thought. They were what they were.
“Safe trip and all that,” Colin added. “Oh, wait.”
He went back to his desk, opened a drawer. He took out her knife and the sheath Travis had made for her thirteenth birthday. “Kid said you lent him this, and asked if I’d get it back to you. Marichu brought him in. She handled herself,” he said in a way that told Fallon he did, indeed, have a little thing there.
“Thanks. The boy’s okay?”
“In the barracks. One of our new recruits.”
Nodding, she clipped the knife to her belt. “Train him strong. I’ll see you in New Hope.”
“Hey, Fallon,” he said as she walked to the door. “We’ve got them on the run.”
“Let’s keep it that way.”
__________
She got home at dusk to find her mother stirring something that smelled like heaven on the stove. So normal, she thought, after the blood and the battle, after a day of wonders.
Grateful, she rushed over to wrap her arms around Lana, press hard against her back.
“There’s my girl.”
“Here’s my mom.”
Lana turned, hugged just as hard before drawing back with a smile. The smile changed as she studied Fallon’s face, a face she cupped in her hands as she said, “Your first time.”
“What—”
“Duncan. Of course Duncan.”
“I—you— How do you know?”
“I had a first time, too. You’ve got knowledge in your eyes, along with the stars. He made you happy.”
“Yes.” The initial awkwardness dropped away. “I love him. He loves me.”
“I know.”
“It was wonderful.” As it rushed into her again, Fallon spun in a circle. “I didn’t know I could feel so much. You can read stories, or listen to soldiers’ sex talk, I could even see the way you and Dad look at each other, but I couldn’t know. I couldn’t know until he touched me.”
With a sigh, she laid a hand on her heart. “And then he did. When we’re together like that, I’m not the Savior or The One, or anything but . . . I’m just me.”
“I know,” Lana said again.
“It’s like that with Dad, for you?”
On a sigh of her own, Lana put a kettle on, chose teas. “All the months we were together, the time before you were born, and after, he never touched me, never asked. He wanted me, and I knew. Just as he knew I needed my grieving time for Max. And through that time, I fell in love, slowly and completely.”
She got out cups, and the honey Fallon loved. “It was the day Mallick came. The new year. The end of Year One. When we were alone again, the three of us, I told him I loved him and wanted our lives together to really begin. That was our first time together. And when he touched me, finally, I was just me.”
“You never told me.”
“It would have been just a pretty story before. Now you understand. We’re lucky, you and I, to love and be loved by good men. Through all this, the war, the loss, the victories, we can still be women in love with good men.”
She set out the tea, added cookies, and sat to talk, to listen.
“I wasn’t sure I’d know what to do—I mean other than the mechanics. There’s so much more.”
On a laugh, Lana bit into a cookie. “Thank the goddess for that.”
“Or that it would feel so good. Everything. We were still banged up and bloody, and it didn’t matter.”
“Might have added to it,” Lana replied.
“Then in the shower, we . . .” She trailed off, stirred honey into her tea. “Is it weird hearing this?”
“I’m patting myself on the back right now for being the kind of mother whose daughter feels comfortable talking to her about this. But . . . let’s not share the details with your father.”
Talk about awkward, Fallon thought. “Will he know, like you?”
“Unlikely. Let me ease him into it.”
Better, Fallon thought, much better to leave that part to her mother. “Good idea. Oh, I forgot. When we, the first time, when we— Well, the light just exploded. It burst everywhere, and through me, through him. Outside, the tree behind the memorial stone changed. It’s a tree of life, like Mallick’s.”
“Ah.” Lana sat back. “That explains it. Our memorial tree, it did the same. I thought it was a sign of victory, but now I see. Then again, love’s a victory.” She put her hand over Fallon’s. “Without it, all the battles mean nothing.”
“There’ll be more battles.”
“But you’ll go into them with one more thing to fight for.”
“I was worried it would make me weak, but I was wrong. I feel stronger. I’ll need to be. There are things coming—I can’t see clearly, but coming. A flame from the north, a madness brewing, a blackened soul behind a mask of innocence. Can you see? A bolt through a faithful heart. The black dragon bringing its long shadow to smother hope. What bargains must be made, what loss suffered, what sacrifice given for the light to burn through the dark?”
Fallon lowered her head. “I can’t see, but I know it’s coming.”
“When it does, we’ll meet it.” Lana took both of Fallon’s hands. “Every one of us.”
“There’s so much more I need to talk to you about. You, Dad, Travis. Ethan, too. Even before we meet with the rest of the commanders, and the New Hope Originals.”
Lana looked over as the door opened. Simon came in. “You’re in luck. We’ll just—” Something in his face stopped her. “Ethan.”
Simon walked to Lana, laid a hand on her shoulder. “He’s fine. He headed over to Eddie’s. Babe, it’s Joe.”
“Oh. I’ll—”
“Lana, Ethan
says it’s time.”
“Oh no. But—”
“He said Joe’s ready. He just needs Eddie to let him go.”
Tears swam into Lana’s eyes. “I need to be there.”
