“Was what I saw...?” Felix trails off, the anger in his warm timbre leaking away to something far gentler.
“I’m pretty sure it was my sixteenth birthday, though I can’t be positive.” My body grows tense, my hands gripping the mug tight, but it’s with long lived fury, not anxiety. Since Felix already saw what my father did to me, talking about it feels easier.
“I told you it was his go-to until I plateaued, but what I didn’t mention was how furious he was.” Tears drip unfettered down my cheeks. “He did it every night for over a week when he stopped seeing progress.”
My voice grows thick as I confess, “I nearly lost my mind that summer. All I could think about was the pain, and everything outside that basement didn’t exist. I even forgot my own name for a while.”
Felix curls his hands into fists. His expression is broken with grief, but he doesn’t cry-- and that’s when I realize he can’t. He could probably morph his appearance to look like he’s cried, but the release of emotions that comes from crying, he’s incapable of doing as a spirit. How devastating it must be to feel so deeply and not be able to let it out.
I sniff, attempt to wipe the tears from my face, then release a watery laugh. “It’s funny, I think it was going back to school and being surrounded by some semblance of normal that kept me together. During the day, I could pretend it wasn’t real, you know, and everything that was happening to me was just a horrible nightmare. It’s one of the reasons I like school.”
He steps closer to me, and I have to tilt my head back to look into his eyes. He reaches like he’s going to touch my cheek, but stops midway through the gesture, dropping his arms to his sides. It makes me think of what it felt like to be held in his arms while I cried. What it must have felt like for him to finally touch someone after all these months.
“I wish I knew the right thing to say,” he murmurs. He’s so close that if he were alive, I’d be able to feel his breath against my skin. “Kaleb’s the one that’s good with this kind of stuff. I just crack jokes.”
“You listen, and you’re still here. That means a lot.” I give him a bittersweet smile. “Besides, I like your jokes. There wasn’t a whole lot of laughter in my life before I came here.”
“I think I can manage those things. If you want to talk, I can listen.” More of my Felix makes it through when a smirk starts tugging at the corners of his mouth. “So I’m guessing the whole super witch, healing thing is why you laughed about Gina’s rumor that you threatened to...”
“Kill myself? Pretty much,” I snort, this time in genuine humor. “Surprise! Learning my deep, dark secrets earns you the knowledge of how twisted my sense of humor really is.”
“I can work with that. I’m dead, remember? Morbid humor is kind of my shtick.” He grins, his hazel eyes turning bright. “Also, I was totally right. Call it what you want, but having power in all four elements plus spirit means you’re just like theAvatar.I’m so going to rub that in the guys’ faces.”
I return his grin, while shaking my head. “Better pray I don’t have to save the world from the Fire Nation, because I currently have power in exactly nothing until I get this binding spell off.”
“That’s not true. You’re like Kora, when she was-- wait, no, that’s a spoiler. Trust me; you’re just like Kora.” Felix pauses, his elfin features bunching as he thinks. “Hey, you’re also kind of like Deadpool. Crazy healing powers, and you’ve had some decent one liners.”
“Thank you?” My face screws up in confusion. “Who’s Deadpool?”
He gasps-- eyebrows raised high on his forehead. “How do you know about X-23, but not Deadpool?”
“I like the X-men cartoon and some of the early movies, so I read a few of the comics,” I answer slowly, then add as an afterthought, “Originally, I thought she was a reimagining of Lady Deathstrike.”
“You see, first you shock me, then you start talking all geeky to me about comics and rattling off different mutants by name.” He sighs with a playful flutter of his lashes. “Be still my heart.”
I snicker, smiling up at him.
“We have so many movies to add to the list,” he hums with joy. “You’ll love the Deadpool movie, then we have to catch you up on all of the X-men movies, before you watch Logan. X-23 is actually in that one.” He gives me an assessing look. “Now the question is, do we make you suffer through the bad ones like the rest of us did? Hugh Jackman, great Wolverine. The Wolverine movies, not so much.”
A happy warmth fills me, because despite what Felix saw, he’s still treating me like he did before. To him, I’m not a pitiful, broken thing. I’m still the same Callie he knew before the gruesome flashback he witnessed.
Before I can respond, I hear Donovan call our names, and Felix jumps back away from me. It’s only because of Felix’s reaction that I blush, imagining what we must have looked like. Not that anything could happen-- except in my dreams, where he can now go.Nope. Nope. Nope. Couldn’t my friends be slightly uglier?
Donovan’s a few feet away from us. Fortunately for my out of control hormones, he’s rediscovered his black t-shirt and leather jacket since I last saw him.
“Callie, your aunt is up and making what she calls ‘a traditional English breakfast’,” he informs me, making his way over. “If you’re hungry, she said it’s almost ready... though I gotta warn you, there’s baked beans, broiled tomatoes, and she’s fried the bread instead of toasting it. Shit’s weird.”
I can’t help bursting into giggles over Donovan’s dubious expression. While I try to get my cackling under control, Felix mutters that he’ll meet me inside then poofs away. Worry worms its way into my stomach. Are my secrets too heavy for him to bear alone?
“You okay?” he asks when he notices the furrow in my brow.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I hedge. “Or as fine as I can be at the moment.”
Donovan shoves his hands into his jacket pockets. “About that... look you can tell me it’s none of my business and to fuck off.”
My heart picks up speed, rattling in my ears. Is he going to ask point blank? Will he be hurt or angry when I tell him I’m not ready to talk about it?
Oblivious to my internal struggle, he continues, “I was wondering... if you were interested, I could teach you some self-defense. With your magic bound, it might be good for you to know other ways to defend yourself.”
