“Nolan,” she says my name louder, but I keep going.
“So I broke up with her. I wasn’t nice about it either,” I seethe, gritting my teeth. “One night, her hands were all over me, feeling me up through my jeans, trying to unbuckle my belt, and it didn’t matter how much better straight from the vein tasted anymore. Her touch made my skin crawl. I pushed her off me. Told her to get the fuck out of my house, and that I never wanted to see her again.”
I press my face to Callie’s hair, and she twists so she can wrap both her arms around my neck, making soft cooing sounds of comfort. The more I remember Gina’s desperate pawing, the tighter I want to hold Callie against me as if her sweet, gentle touch can replace the ugly memories.
“Guys are supposed to always want it, right?” I sneer, staring blankly at the TV that’s gone to sleep and swallow heavily, as I push away the feeling of hundreds of phantom touches that now hold claim to my body.
“Um, rumors spread that I was gay, but whatever,” I continue, clearing my throat. “Anyone that hassled me ended up sexually confused by the time we were done, and even more girls became interested in trying to prove one way or the other.” Shaking my head, a rueful chuckle falls from my lips. “Then I couldn’t keep bagged blood down. It took an embarrassing amount of time to figure out what happened.”
“Oh, Nolan,” she utters, my name sounding sad and wounded on her tongue.
My fingers slide up her back, digging into her flesh, because I’m having trouble breathing and she feels like the only thing holding me together. “I demanded she fix me. At first she played dumb, but eventually, she gave me the condition that if I got back with her… if I did whatever she asked of me, then she’d remove the spell. I nearly strangled her with my bare hands.”
I grin, and I’m glad Callie can’t see it, because I know I look goddamn unhinged right now. “I’m no one’s victim, and I’m no one’s bitch. Told her she could go fuck herself, then I found the hottest varsity cheerleader-- she was a senior-- and fucked her brains out in the girls’ locker room. That’s when I found out I could still feed from the vein and keep it down.”
Running my tongue along my teeth, I boast, “After that, my ‘hickies’ became a badge of honor. Every girl wanted one. The guys, on the other hand-- they wanted everything else… as long as no one found out.”
Callie is quiet for nearly a minute, and I wonder what she thinks of me now, knowing I lost my virginity to spite my ex.
“May I speak now?” she asks, with a whole lot of different emotions in her voice, though anger seems to be taking center stage.
I swallow heavily, worried that I screwed something up, and I should have kept it simple, leaving the uglier details to myself.
“Yes,” I rasp.
She struggles to get up, and I’m sure I’ve managed to disgust her to the point that even the pull of my bite isn’t strong enough for her to want to be near me. Instead, she straddles me again, and I’m really grateful for the pillow in my lap. Also, confused as hell.
Callie firmly clasps my face between her hands, so I have no choice but to look at her. “This is not your fault,” she insists, her eyes blazing like molten silver.
“I didn’t say…” I start, but she shakes her head.
“Nope. My turn to talk. You listen,” she commands sternly-- and it’s kind of sexy. “They have a name for what Gina did. It’s called sexual assault.”
“What? No. It wasn’t like that,” I sputter. “I told you, I’m not a victim. I wasn’t raped.”
“If some guy tried to stick their hand down my pants when I didn’t want them to, what would you call it?” she growls, looking more and more pissed off.
The mere idea of it has the predator inside me crawling to the surface. “Dead. I’d call him dead.”
“Ugh, forget it,” she groans, her hands tightening on the sides of my head. “Point is, what Gina did to you wasn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for it because you fed from her. Just because your bite makes people hot and bothered, doesn’t mean you have to have sex with them, or get them off, or whatever. Masturbation is a thing, and I’m sure by that point, Gina had more than figured out how.”
My face hurts from trying not to laugh at that last bit. She, however, is not as amused, nor finished.
“This is why you keep picking up someone new every week? You’re afraid if you’re with one person too long, they’ll get addicted, and you’ll have created another Gina.” Her eyes narrow and she leans in, her face getting real close to kissing distance again. “This is why you hate feeding from your friends, too, isn’t it? You’re worried we’ll get addicted.”
I don’t know how to answer her, because I don’t understand why I do anything anymore. All I know is if I pick someone up, we hook up, I get what I need and leave them satisfied, then life stays simple. They don’t expect more from me, and I don’t end up with another lunatic who has consent issues.
“Nolan,” she whispers, with glassy eyes and a furrowed brow, “I’m truly sorry for what I did…”
“I swear to God, Callie,” I groan, pressing my forehead against hers. “If you apologize one more time, I’m going to kiss you so hard you won’t remember your own damn name.”
“Ummm…” she stutters, blinking rapidly like she’s short-circuited. Her hands drop from my face to lightly pat at my shoulders, seeming unsure where she’s allowed to place them.
A sly smirk pulls at my lips when I lean back into the couch and notice the beautiful blush that’s spread across her cheeks. I tuck some of her wild strands behind her ear, then run my fingers down her arms until my hands overlap hers. Slowly, I lift her hand and press a soft kiss to her palm, then while looking into her eyes, I turn and kiss the other.
Her eyes widen, lips part, and her breathing becomes uneven.
“It’s not that I didn’t like kissing you. I did,” I purr, placing her hands on my bare chest. “It’s that I never want to do anything with you that you’re not one hundred percent on board with, which you can’t really consent to if you’re hopped up on vampire bite.” There’s an uncomfortable weight in my stomach when I force myself to say the other half. “And you and me… let’s just say, I make a better friend than anything else.”
