Free from the confines of his ugly sweater, Connor retreats outside to shift. After a couple of howls that are answered by the distant echoes of his pack, he shakes out his fur on the porch, then comes back in, nosing the front door closed behind him. With a happy sigh, he flops on the floor beside me, dropping his giant head into my lap. I automatically start scratching behind his ears.
“Clever bastard,” Donovan mutters under his breath, moving to sit on the short L of the brown couch.
Kaleb settles himself in the middle of the couch, his legs folded so he doesn’t hit any of us on the floor, and he flips through the video on demand until he findsHow the Grinch Stole Christmas—the live action one with Jim Carrey. Nolan returns to his spot on the couch and starts munching on one of the mince pies.
Under the soft lights of my illusions floating along the ceiling, we create our own tradition on this longest night. Instead of concentrating on shedding the past, we focus on the strength of the present. This moment. Together. Simply existing because that alone is worth celebrating.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m hyper aware of the ticking seconds of my spell running out, but for the first time, I’m the last to fall asleep. My head jerks with the sudden lack of Felix’s solid shoulder beneath it, and I nearly tumble to the ground.
“Looks like the clock struck midnight for this Cinderella,” Felix says with a sigh, his fingers pressing through the bracelet that was hanging around his wrist.
I take his gift and grip it tight in my hand. “Only for a little while. Soon, you’ll be able to wear this every day.”
“Pretty girl, in case I forget to tell you,” he murmurs, a bittersweet sorrow coating his words. “This was the best day of my life. Living or dead. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It was pretty great for me too,” I reply, my smile coming out warped as my fingers feel frigid going through his hand.
Trying not to cry, I pray that what I said is true—that this is just one of eventually many days together. Because I don’t know what I’d do if tonight was our last chance to hug Felix goodbye.
Chapter 25
Kaleb
It’s Christmas day, and I’m doing breathing exercises on my way over to Callie’s. Determined to get my fear under control, I chose to drive my parents’ car instead of flying, and it’s been extremely difficult. My palms are sweaty, I keep getting honked at for driving too slow, and my heart hammers in my chest every time I think I see a cop car.
Breathe. Small town. They know you here.
I lied the night of the winter solstice. I hadn’t forgotten Callie’s gift. It was in my coat pocket the entire time, but after learning about Callie’s dream, I didn’t want to give her the present with the rest of the guys around. I know dreams aren’t necessarily literal, but they can be a window into her subconscious. Perhaps she is ready for a romantic relationship… and I’m not the only one she has a possible interest in. I am, however, the person that kissed her like a man possessed then left her hanging for over a month while I tried to figure out what the best course of action was. Which was idiotic, since the answer was obvious from the beginning—tell her that I’m in love with her.
“Sometimes, I reallydothink too much,” I mutter to myself, my fingers aching as I grip the steering wheel too tight.
Observing how the others flirted with Callie after they found out about her dream made me realize Miss Dorothy was right. If I don’t do something, tell Callie how I really feel, then I only have myself to blame if she chooses to date one of the others. She’s an amazing person—which after reading the awful accounts of what she’s lived through, I appreciate even more—and I’m not dumb enough to think I’m the only one that’s noticed.
So here I am, pulling up in her driveway on Christmas day to tell her how I feel, and ask her to choose me. Hopefully, I’m not too late.
The air is crisp and the sky is a bright blue when I get out of the car. Wind blows through the trees, carrying with it the earthy scent of the surrounding forest. Piles of snow sprinkle the yard and around the porch, most of it melting with the afternoon sun.
Running my thumb along the velvet case in my pocket, I pray that Callie likes it and understands what I mean by it. Knowing the details of what she’s been through and how uneasy she feels about her potentially long life, I got her a gold bracelet with “Hoc Quoque Transibit”inscribed on it. Latin for “This Too Shall Pass.” I meant it as a comforting reminder that tomorrow always brings new hope and new possibilities.
With a speech prepared and an apology already on my lips for interrupting their holiday, I knock on the front door.
Mildred answers with sad relief in her eyes. “I’m so glad she called one of you to come over. Finding out about Ruth’s passing last night left her devastated. She’s barely spoken a word other than yelling at your ghost friend that she needed time alone.”
“She yelled at Felix?” I mutter, the news of Ruth’s death hitting me hard in the chest, while I try to pretend that I’m here for the exact reason Mildred thinks I am.
Opening the door wider to let me in, Mildred explains, “She more cried loudly and begged him to leave than yelled. Obviously, I don’t know what his response was or if he’s still around.”
For a moment, my blood freezes at the thought of Felix no longer being around, then my brain kicks in. She meant around the house—not whether he still exists. I don’t know what to say, so I make a reassuring hum that I heard her, and start taking off my boots and jacket, pocketing Callie’s gift. Checking my phone to see if anyone knows, I’m worried that there aren’t any messages from the guys. Felix hasn’t told anyone.
One problem at a time.
When I put my phone away, Mildred shoves a tray into my hands that has a pot of tea and finger sandwiches on it. “Callie is up in her room. Try to get her to eat something.”
“I’ll do my best,” I reply, trying to keep my tone comforting and my expression polite, while inside my heart is sinking.
It feels selfish, but I can’t help the disappointment of having to slide back into my role of Perfect Kaleb. Safe. Reliable. Understanding. I want to be those things for her, and I’ll gladly do and be whatever she needs me to be, but today… today I wanted to be more. I wanted to peel back the layers and show her what lies beneath the mask. Show her that I love just as fiercely and passionately as the others. I’m more than what everyone thinks I am.
With tray in hand, I climb the stairs, walk down the hall, and knock on her door. “Callie, it’s Kaleb. I heard about what happened with Ruth.”
