That’s right, Callie. Distract yourself from how much you hate stairs by discussing the man that abused you for years. That won’t backfire on you at all.
Breathe. This is for Felix.
Clearing my throat, I continue, “He has a lot of books on the occult back in my…the house in Phoenix. Considering all that he was up to, I want to go get them. He may have stuff on spirit witches. From the Lyncas’ side.”
We’re about halfway down the length of parked cars when she stops and hugs me to her chest—which is pretty difficult around the giant book. “Are you sure?” she whispers harshly, her breath warm in my hair. “If you really want them, I can retrieve them myself.”
I shake my head and pull away. “No, I want to go. Ineedto go. It’s more than the books. It’s proving to myself that it’s just a house. A stupid house. I’m stronger now. He can’t hurt me ever again. I won’t let him.”
“Oh my darling, I won’t ever let him close enough to even try,” Mildred promises, her hand slipping down my arm. “If you must go, then we’ll go together. Your Thanksgiving holiday is coming up, how about we go then?”
My lips quirk up in acknowledgement that, as a Brit, Thanksgiving is just another Thursday for her. I nod and continue walking toward the car.
The only way I’m going to get to know the guys better is if they get to know me better. I need to let them in.
“Can the guys come too?” I query, wondering if they’ll all come. Donovan and Kaleb did promise that they wouldn’t let me face my past without them.
“Assuming it’s fine with their parents, I don’t see why not,” she answers, making her way to the passenger side of the Mercedes.
Looking up at the thickening dark clouds—practically feeling the rain that is about to shower the town in punishing sheets—I request, “Can you drive instead?”
Mildred looks surprised, as I imagine any adult would when a teenager asks not to drive, but makes her way back to the other side. I hand her the car keys from my front pocket, and after putting the family grimoire safely in the backseat, we settle in to go home.
Mildred puts on more classical music and the windshield wipers as it begins to drizzle. It’s a comfortable silence as we drive, the vibrant colors of the foliage zooming past my window.
I think more about the guys. About where we stand with each other. What we have is something truly special, but it requires a lot more honesty. Which means asking the hard questions. A huge part of me wants to ride the unknown, skate by on just letting what happens happen, but burying my head in the sand doesn’t help me. I should know that by now.
Trying to figure out exactly what I want to ask the guys—what I want in general, honestly—I remember how shocked I was that my aunt let me stay the night with Connor.Well, at least this is something I might get a straight answer about.
Taking in Mildred’s profile as she navigates the slippery roads, I question, “Why are you so cool with me staying over with the guys? Not that I’m complaining, but that’s weird…isn’t it?”
Her smile is amused, making clusters of wrinkles gather around her eyes. “Callie, you’ll be eighteen this summer. You’ll have access to your trust and can literally go anywhere you want with whomever you want. I won’t be able to stop you.”
“I won’t leave you,” I insist, but she raises a hand to quiet me.
“Someday you will. It’s part of growing up,” she corrects gently, “but I hope you wait to at least finish school first.”
“I will,” I promise, tucking the loose strands of hair that have escaped my bun behind my ears.
Mildred taps her fingers on the steering wheel, her mouth slightly ajar, as if she hasn’t quite chosen the words she wants to use. Finally, after a deep sigh, she shares, “There’s something very important I’ve learned the hard way that I don’t want you to. Happiness is a fickle thing. It comes and goes. If we’re lucky, then enough happiness comes around to hold you through the bad times. It’s important that you cherish it.” She glances over at me, her eyes glassy, and finishes, “And more importantly, cherish those that bring it into your life.”
I know she’s talking about my mother—the sister she lost because of what she was born as, while also hinting that the guys are that kind of special to me. The other reason she lets me stay with them.
Part of me wants to make light of her hint, groan again that we’re alljust friends, but maybe that’s the point she’s making. The mechanics of what we are to each other doesn’t matter, nor does the label we decide to hang over this connection we have between us. They’re all incredibly special to me, and I will cherish every moment with them in whatever way they wish to share it with me.
Chapter 13
Callie
It’s been over a week since Nolan’s birthday party, and I’m sweating bullets standing outside the Twin Cedar Pass Hospital and Medical Center. Turns out it’s a lot harder to put on my big girl panties and ask the hard questions when the only friends I’ve ever had hang in the balance. I have Mei now, and she’s turning out to be a really great friend—her big personality is just what I need to keep from tumbling into an abyss of insecurities—but she’s not the guys. My guys.
Are they mine? They said I was one of them, but that was before…everything. No. No second-guessing. Yes, they’re mine, I assert firmly to myself.At least I hope they still are.
Kaleb and Donovan have been pretty much MIA during lunch and distant during class. When I tried to talk to Donovan, he flat out asked me if I still planned to bring Felix back from the dead. When I said yes, he then gruffly told me that we didn’t have anything to talk about. He wouldn’t even look at me. Just scowled at something across the hall.
Kaleb has been more diplomatic in the way he’s avoided me, going with the excuse that he still needs time to think and is too busy to talk. On top of school, football, and nephilim duties, it turns out he’s also on the debate team. That particular irony I’m sure I’ll find funny later.
“Well, he can’t avoid me today,” I mutter, stalking through the automatic doors of the hospital and getting a blast of somehow even colder air.Nothing like air conditioning in the middle of November.
