“You think?” she chides, then sticks out her tongue, and he grins at her.
The next few minutes, she quietly grills him for details. When did he know? What exactly does it feel like? Pondering between themselves what it all might mean. For now, they choose not share it with the rest of us, Felix preferring to offer up this puzzle only to her. Something to occupy her mind while he fulfills what she asked of him.
There was no doubt in my mind that we needed to save Felix. But seeing them together, and feeling the way he was able to pull Callie back from the abyss that keeps trying to swallow her, I appreciate not only how important Felix is to us, but also how much Callie needs him too.
I know how to physically protect her—to stare into the darkness that lives inside her and not blink—but I’m better equipped to dive into that abyss with her than pull her away from it. Felix has always been our peacekeeper. The one to know exactly what to say to keep us together. It’s also impossible to miss that Felix is in love with Callie, and that there’s love within her for him too.
As difficult as it is for me to acknowledge, I can’t be all things for my mate. For her to be truly happy, I may have to accept that these other attractions are for her benefit. I promised her anything she desires, just wasn’t fully prepared for what that might be.
I’m getting ahead of myself. Considering when she finds out all that I’ve done, it may take a few decades for her to even to look at me again. At least as a supe, I have more than two centuries worth of time to get back into her good graces.
My wolf is restless inside me, distraught over ourreina’spain in being inside this hell plastered in white finery, and he’s especially not pleased with the conundrum of our mate wanting someone other than us. Especially as I entertain what that might mean. His instinct is to fight. To defend. But who and from what? What hurts our mate is inside her, and that can’t be fought with teeth and claws. And those best equipped to help her aren’t us.
When Felix walks away to collect the guys, Callie looks up at me, her silver grey eyes pinning me to the floor. As she raises a single blonde brow, my heart pounds in my chest, because it’s clear I didn’t hide my feelings as well as I hoped. Did she sense my jealousy? Are my fears for her potent enough to cover the hollowing inadequacies I find within myself?
She grabs the tape dispenser on the desk and makes her way toward me, the rubber tread of her boots making slight squeaking noises on the hardwood floors. From a distance, it looks like she’s offering to help tape my box closed, while close up, she’s scolding, “Don’t you know it’s rude to eavesdrop?”
“Wolf shifter,” I reply with a shrug, as if it’s something I can’t help. Distractedly, I grab a round, jeweled container from the shelf, wrap it in paper, and then put it in the box.
She rolls her eyes before giving me a knowing look. My hearing does make it difficult to miss anything being said, but there’s a difference from abstractly hearing and intentionally eavesdropping. She isn’t fooled over which one I was doing.
“I’ll take over here. Go with Felix,” Callie directs, her head tilted far enough back to look into my eyes. Her normally golden skin is pale, but she’s fueled by a determination that is captivating. My beautiful warrior queen. “Listen to what he has to say, then…tonight we talk. No more secrets.”
Mierda. So much for going slow. Please don’t hate me after.
“That,” she states, pointing the tape dispenser at me. “The guilt you’re feeling right now, and how come I know you’re feeling it? I want you to explain that. No half answers.”
“Sí, mi reina,” I reply, trying to figure out how to explain what happened in a way that doesn’t make me sound like a selfish asshole. I’m not ready for her to push me away.
“In English,” she demands, poking me in the chest. “I don’t have the time or energy to Rosetta Stone your answers.”
“Okay,” I murmur with a hint of a smirk.
Because it might be a while before she’ll let me do this again, I kiss the top of her head, breathing in her intoxicating scent that causes heat to burn through my veins. A smug possessiveness ripples through me when I sense the same heat burning through her, returning a hint of color to her cheeks.
The bond wouldn’t have formed if she didn’t love me too, in some way. I can work with this.
Looking like we’re just carrying more boxes out to the truck, the guys and I abandon them near the front door and follow Felix through the house.
“She told me to tell you everything,” Felix begins, rubbing the back of his neck. There’s a haunted look in his hazel eyes as his gaze trails down a grand, white carpeted staircase. “It’s not easy to talk about, and it didn’t even happen to me, so if you could…I don’t know…wait to freak out until I’m done, I’d appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Kaleb agrees readily in his familiar, soothing tone.
Nolan shrugs, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and mutters, “Sure.”
He’s been uncharacteristically quiet since we’ve arrived. Dealing with his own issues regarding magic, if I were to guess.
Donovan and I trade hard looks, recalling that I beat the shit out of him the last time he learned about Callie’s past. It was hard enough for her to talk about, she didn’t need his raging bullshit too. He had no fucking right to make her feel worse because he couldn’t hold his shit together.
After a long challenging stare, both D and I make noises of agreement.
I do my best to lock up my own emotions. It won’t help to get mad over how he was mad—especially now that I project those feelings directly to Callie. Though I’m not particularly proud of it, part of me is relieved that there’s a limited range to our empathetic connection. More than roughly a mile apart from each other and it becomes restricted to extreme fear, rage, or pain. Signals that my mate is in trouble.
“Okay,” Felix breathes, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s start the shittiest tour ever.”
He starts with the staircase, telling us how when he first saw it, there was a trail of blood running down it that led to where he eventually found Callie in the basement. Apparently over the past two months, Callie showed him more of her past through the dreams they shared. Most of the time they stayed away from this place, but sometimes Callie felt she needed to face some of her nightmares. Watching her memories play out like horrific movies, she’d share what everything felt like. What was going on in her life to lead to the particular memory. He tells us about some of the accidents that started it all, pointing at a French door Callie crashed through after falling down the stairs, and the first night she learned she could heal.
Sweat drips down my back as I strain to keep everything bottled up. Ruthlessly, I search for the detached killer inside me that kept me alive challenge after challenge with different members of the pack. I need that numbness to protect Callie. To keep her from being overwhelmed with my own selfish pain and rage.
