My nan goes frighteningly still. “How?”
My face crumples under the weight of what I did—what love, desperation, and too much power led me to do. “James didn’t survive the accident.”
“By the goddess, please tell me you didn’t put Felix’s soul in that young man’s body.” Her voice shakes as she sounds equal parts horrified and terrified.
“Yes, I did.” Once the words fall from my lips, I expect her to push me away and despise me for abusing my powers.
What I don’t expect is for the bouncing tennis ball to go flying into my nan’s bag, bonking Mischief right on the head. He makes an angry hiss sound and jumps out of the bag, only to get smacked by the ball again. When he tries to catch it to tear it apart, it only leads to him floating up into the air and then promptly being smashed into the ground. It’s as if the spell has designated Mischief as the ground, and the ball must keepbouncing by pummeling him like the worst game of dodge ball. It’s so absurd that I’m shocked out of my fear and despair.
I look up at Mildred and see the swarm of thoughts bombarding her mind. I also notice she hasn’t let go of me.
Waving a hand in front of her face, I comment, “The ball is attacking Mischief.”
She blinks and flicks her wrist, and the tennis ball goes flying into the woods to continue its bouncing mayhem. This solution is unlike her, and I wonder if she’ll even remember after what I told her.
Free from the great tennis ball battle, Mischief looks ready to huff off, but something on my nan’s face makes him stay. He fluidly strolls to her side, rubbing against her free arm. I’m relieved when she starts to run her hand along his fluffy fur, deciding this isn’t the time to remind her that the fuzzy creature is a sentient, ancient being.
“Do you hate me?” I ask, my voice small and fragile.
This seems to snap her from her swirling thoughts. She shakes her head, her eyes troubled but her expression loving. “No, my darling. I don’t hate you. Nothing would make me hate you, but do you have any idea what you did? What it means?”
“It’s a death sentence if the council finds out.” My shoulders lift in a defeated shrug. “They already want me dead, so at the time, it didn’t seem to make a difference what reason they’d use to justify it.”
My nan pulls my head onto her shoulder and rests her chin against me. “Ignoring the difference of a hidden agenda against you, and now having a legitimate law broken to cite to enact it, there’s a reason the dead need to stay dead. I wish you had come to me first.”
“I knew you would stop me.” My voice is strained as I try to explain what seems less and less defensible. “Felix was going to blink out of existence.” Tears once again start to drip down my face. “He was my first friend, and… and I love him. I couldn’t let him go.”
She shifts so both of her arms are around me. “Oh, my darling. I can only imagine how hard it was to face a situation like that, but death is a natural part of life. It has to be.” Her tone is full of compassion while she explains why this line must hold. “A society can only continue to change and adapt because there’s a finite amount of time in one’s lifespan. It’s already challenging to evolve in the witching world since those with power tend to live longer.” She swallows heavily, her voice hinting at the fear inside. “Imagine if those in power could never die, because their spirits could forever be placed in new bodies. Unlike with James, I doubt they’d choose their donors from the available deceased.”
A new, sickening sense of dread settles in my stomach as I envision the existing council living forever, and what they’d do to me to make it a reality. “They wouldn’t kill me. They would cage me and every spirit witch after me.”
“If they could figure out how to cage you while still harnessing your power, yes.” She runs her hand down my long hair. “And if they can’t, they would kill you before you could use your abilities on their rivals.”
“That’s why you’re afraid,” I mutter, beginning to grasp the weight and scope of bringing Felix back from the dead.
“Yes.” She squeezes me painfully tight. “No one can know what you did. No one can know that you’re capable of harnessing such magic on your own.”
“Only the guys, Mei, and Rand know,” I admit, cringing because seven people—now eight—seems like a lot of people to know a society shattering secret.
She sighs, reaching up to rub between her brows. “Do I need to swear them to secrecy?”
“No,” I answer with firm confidence. “They know not to tell anyone.” I shrink into myself as I add, “Though I could use your help in making sure Felix doesn’t lose his memories before the wrong person finds out he knows about the supernatural.”
“I feel for the lad, but I must discourage you from marrying him.” She pulls far enough back to look straight into my eyes with full-blown parental panic. “I know you’re an adult and love him, but you’re so young, and feelings change as you continue to grow.”
“What?” I bark, shaking my head violently. “No. I’m way too young to get married.”
“Oh, thank the goddess,” she exclaims with a hand on her chest.
“I need you to approve Nolan making Felix… James, you know who I mean, into his thrall.” I sigh with relief now that what I needed to say is finally out. “Oh, Nolan’s grandmother said she could convince the vampire queen to make this the reciprocity for Nolan’s curse, which means no council.”
“What?” my nan shouts at the same time as a flock of distant birds squawk in outrage and fly into the sky. The tennis ball strikes again. “That’s… I can’t possibly… To use the queen in such a way. That woman!”
“Whoa, breathe.” I rub circles on her lower back, the silken fabric of her shirt soft against my fingers. “Clench your teeth any harder, and you’ll chip a molar.”
She takes a few deep breaths, slowly returning to the calm, collected woman I know. “Callie, making Felix a thrall is forever. He will be permanently bound to Nolan. His entire life will be subject to Nolan’s needs first.”
Dropping my hands in my lap, I pull on broken threads on my jeans. “I know. Believe me, I have my own misgivings, but it’s what Felix wants. It’s his life to live.”
