AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Do you want to know the sex?” the doctor asked, rubbing the wand all around as she took measurements.
“I already know it’s a girl,” I said, my voice shaking.
“Well, you don’t know it’s a girl, you just think it’s a girl, right?” Bear said.
“I know it is!” I snapped, maybe a little too angrily and maybe a little too loudly for a doctor’s office.
Bear’s gaze burned into the side of my face as I continued to refuse to look at him. I was hoping we could get through this, that I could pretend everything was fine, but he knew me too well.
That, and the fact that I was acting like he wasn’t even the room probably tipped him off that I might be a little upset.
“Dr. Reynolds, could I please have a moment alone with my wife?”
“Absolutely,” she said, putting the ultrasound wand back on the machine. She took off her gloves and handed me a box of tissue. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, with a polite smile, before leaving us alone.
I watched the door close behind her, wishing I was anywhere else but here at the moment.
“What’s going on?” Bear asked.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I said, finally meeting his eyes and then looking away again immediately.
Goddammit, I thought, he’s so fucking handsome. Why does he have to be so fucking sexy all the time? Why can’t he just be normal, just some normal guy with a normal job and normal eyes, eyes that didn’t seem to have the ability to see right through me every time they landed on me?
“Let’s talk about it now,” he said, his voice low and measured.
“I don’t think this is an appropriate place or time,” I said, matching his tone.
“Chloe,” he said, reaching over and putting a finger under my chin. He turned my face towards him, and I kept my eyes averted. “Look at me.”
“I don’t want to,” I said, turning away as soon as he let go.
“Okay, fine, don’t look at me, but at least tell me what the fuck is going on. I thought this was supposed to be a happy visit.”
“So did I,” I said, “but now it’s ruined.”
“Why the fuck is it ruined? What happened?”
“Why don’t you tell me what happened, Bear?” I said, my anger finally bursting through as I turned to him, my angry eyes clashing with his goddamned sexy ones.
“What?” he said, putting out a hand.
“You know what you did!” I cried.
“Okay, this is about Randy, right? That’s all it can be.”
“That’s all?” I exclaimed. “Isn’t that enough?”
“Chloe, I can explain,” he said.
“I hope so,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Look, I owe you an apology, I know. I shouldn’t have paid him off, but well…I was going to tell you this last night, but you were so…so…distracting…as soon as I walked in the door and once we got started, we were having such a nice time and I didn’t want to ruin it.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you gave my sperm donor enough money to buy a fucking car!”
“What did he tell you?” he said, squinting his eyes at me.
“Nothing! Except that you were smarter than me, whatever that means.”
“Fuck,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “He didn’t tell you about the pictures, about the tape…”
“What are you talking about?”
“That asshole came to my office yesterday, showing me pictures…of Matilda,” he said, shaking his head, his lips twisted into a grimace.
“Pictures of Mom? Why?”
“Dammit, Chloe,” he said, his voice full of exasperation. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but they were naked pictures. Of her having sex. With him.”
“What!” I yelled, my stomach churning at the thought. “Oh, I think I’m going to be sick.”
“I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Why would he show you that?” I asked.
“Oh, babe, don’t you get it?” he asked, his eyes turning gentle. “He was blackmailing us. Or you. Or Matilda, or all of us, I guess. He threatened to go to the New York Post if I didn’t give him money.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked.
“I wish I was,” he shrugged. “Look, I know I should have told you right away once I got home, but like I said, you were all dressed up, so sexy…”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “That’s not what you should have done.”
“What?” he asked.
“You shouldn’t have given him anything. He was probably bluffing. And who cares what my mother did over twenty years ago?”
“I was protecting the two of you,” he said. “You’d be surprised how nasty the media can be.”
“But why didn’t you call me first? Come to me and ask me again? I’d already told you I didn’t want you to pay him off in the first place,” I said, my voice rising in anger again. “Why didn’t you listen to me?”
“I didn’t—,” he began.
“—you didn’t what? Think about what I want, Bear? You already knew my wishes. You knew I didn’t want you to give him money! Do I have to use my safe word for that? Or do you get to make those decisions for me, too?”
He looked like I’d slapped him, his mouth dropping open in surprise. I immediately wished I could push the words back in my mouth, but it was too late. And I was so angry and hurt! Maybe I could have said things a little nicer, but I meant it.
“I apologize, Chloe,” he said, his voice low and stern.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” I said, the tears falling down my face. “Just go.”
“What?” he asked, his eyes wide.
“Just go, Bear. I want to be alone. In fact, I think I’m going to stay at my old apartment for a while. I need some space, some time to think…”
“Chloe, don’t do this,” he said. “Let’s just get through this appointment and we’ll talk about everything when we get home.”
“No,” I said, lifting my chin. “In fact, I want you to leave now.”
He paused, peering into my eyes. I held his gaze, determined to show him that he couldn’t just walk all over me like that. This was a big deal. At least to me, it was. The Randy battle was mine to fight, not his.
Maybe the money was nothing to him, but it was the principal of the matter. Randy didn’t deserve to profit off of me, and blackmail? Or all things? Fuck him.
I guess Bear saw that I was serious. After a moment, he nodded and walked toward the door. My heart broke as he turned back to me slowly. The pain in his eyes went straight to my heart.
The fact that we were both hurting did nothing to make me feel better.
“You go on home, Beauty,” he said, his voice low and gentle. “I’ll get a room at the Four Seasons. I’m the one who fucked up, I’m the one who should leave. You take all the space you need and I’ll be here whenever you want me again.”
He turned and walked out and I could have sworn I heard my heart crack completely in half.
Bear
I sat in my car mentally kicking my own ass.
Of course, I should have told Randy to fuck off.
At least she’d given me a chance to explain and hopefully, she’d come to realize that I’d done it for a good reason.
She had to forgive me.
I wasn’t sure what I’d do if she didn’t.
She and the baby were the only things in the whole fucking world that really mattered to me. I laughed when I thought about the man I used to be, the man who thought that money and power and rough sex were all he needed to get through life.
I pitied that man now. His life was empty, lonely, meaningless.
Everything was different now. Chloe had turned everything upside down and now everything that I used to feel, everything I knew to be true, everything I thought I loved and needed—it was all a lie.
A lie I told myself to get to sleep at night.
A lie my parents ha
d taught me.
A lie that I’d believed, that I’d eaten up like an expensive steak.
Work hard. Achieve. Succeed. Make money. Live larger…
Those were the things they thought were important.
The values they’d instilled in me.
