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“If you told me why, I could understand it more,” she says quickly.
I stare down at the carpet, wondering if I should.
But the more I think about it, the more I’ve come to realize that I couldn’t …
Despite me hammering down on the fact that I am, I don’t want her to actually think of me as a villain.
I want her to think of me as someone who can give her something no one else could.
Something much deeper. Something that nothing in this world ever comes close to providing.
Something … like love.
But can a monster like me truly love?
And could she ever love a monster who’s keeping her as a prisoner?
Sighing, I shake my head. “I can’t,” I say gruffly, and with that, I walk out the door and close it behind me.
Chapter Fourteen
Accompanying Song: “Thin Ice” by Jeff Russo
Syrena
By the time I’ve stumbled off the bed and opened the door, he’s already left the house.
Alone again, this time with a collar and chain bound to my neck.
I can’t believe this really happened.
That he actually left. Where is he going now? It can’t be work because he just came home from there. Every time something happens between us, he leaves. It’s as though the friction makes him want to do something.
But what?
I sigh, but then I realize I’m still naked. I almost forgot.
I open the closet and rummage through it until I find a suitable shirt and pair of sweatpants to wear. They’re a bit large, but I can make it work.
The only thing I can’t make work is that metal thing around my neck. Did he forget to take it off, or is he making me wear it for his pleasure?
It’s all kinds of wrong. I should’ve known going in that he’d do this.
It should’ve dawned on me that he had a few kinks. It was obvious from his obsession with knives alone. And now this … the collar.
This man is unlike any other man I’ve ever met. So much so that I’m still shaking on my feet when I think about the way he touched me … and how good it felt when he made me come.
Fuck.
I shouldn’t even be thinking about this, but I am. I thought I knew what I was doing, that I could seduce him into having sex so he’d fall for me and then release me, but nothing is going according to plan.
I actually fucking liked what he did.
And worse, I didn’t want him to stop.
The only part I don’t like is being left here on my own with this goddamn chain around my neck.
I grab a few tissues from the nightstand and clean myself up. Then I open the door and enter the kitchen, searching through the drawers to find something, anything, to pry open this metal with. It doesn’t have to be a knife … anything sharp will do.
But no matter how many drawers I pull open, or how hard I search under the couches and on top of the cabinets, there’s nothing to be found.
It’s as if he knew I would do this.
“Fuck!” I scream, smashing my hand on one of the cabinets.
Why does he have to outsmart me so much?
I sit on the couch and mull it over, stewing in my own juice for a while. I don’t know why I’m so pissed off. Maybe it’s because I’m left to his every whim, or maybe it’s because he isn’t here to make it better.
But I don’t want to think that way. I don’t want to feel that way.
I don’t want to even be here … right?
I shouldn’t want to because it’s his house and not mine. And he is the fucking devil.
At least, that’s what I tell myself because my heart certainly isn’t getting the right picture.
Every time I think of him, it keeps beating faster, to the point where I just turn on the television to take my mind off him.
The weather lady is talking about what day it is, and it makes me think. How long have I been here? How much time did I spend at the compound? Keeping time was so difficult back then, and now I feel as if I’m doing nothing when I’m supposed to do something.
Ella and Cage are waiting for me. They’re rooting for me, hoping I can find a way to free them. They’re still stuck there while I’m here, dreaming the day away, fucking the man who got me out.
How dare I do that to them?
I chuck the remote control at the window. It doesn’t shatter.
Goddammit.
There must be something I can do to get to them.
Something to get out of this house. Out of this loop. Something … like opening the door. But how?
The only way I know is with a card, like a credit card or something. I’ve done it once before, way back when I was still living at the club and tried to sneak up to my room late at night without Roy noticing.
