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“It already did,” I say, forcing myself to put two hands on his chest with the intent to push him away. Instead, feeling his warmth under the thin fabric of his shirt only makes me want to pull him closer.
“Only if you let him,” Brandon says. “But you deserve better. We deserve better,” he says, leaning in so close I can feel his breath on my skin.
I shudder with delight when his lips graze mine.
“Can’t we forget about what happened at the bonfire?” he murmurs.
“How? You’re a fugitive. Everyone’s looking for you,” I reply, trying not to let him kiss me even though my body desperately wants him to.
“I don’t care,” he says, and he tries to make a move on me again.
My brain finally catches up with what’s happening and puts a stop to it. I push him away as I say, “We can’t. It’s not right.”
“Why not?” he asks, grabbing my hands. “I need you, Dixie.”
The desperation in his voice is like torture to me, but I must stand my ground.
“I … I can’t … My dad would kill me.”
“Screw your dad,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Don’t say that,” I say, tearing my hands away from his. “I love my family. You know that.”
“All they do is judge you for the things you do, the things you want the most,” he replies.
“So? Every family does that. Your dad judges us too.”
He scoffs. “I only care about you, Dixie. We don’t need them.” He tips up my chin. “Let’s run away together.”
I make a face. I can’t believe he’s suggesting this. “Where? How?”
“Anywhere. Where’d you like to go?”
I shake my head, laughing. “We’re kids, Brandon.”
“Young adults. And very mature for our age, too,” he says with a killer smile. “So what do you say, Dixie? Wanna come? My car’s parked out front. We could go anywhere you want. Any place, just say the word.”
Traveling the world has been a dream of mine, so I’m tempted to say yes. So fucking tempted, but …
“Your family will be fine without you,” he adds as if that will make it easier to say yes.
It doesn’t even though he’s right. They would be fine without me. But I don’t want to leave them behind. I love them. Despite the fact we have our differences and don’t always see eye to eye, they’re still my family. I can’t abandon them.
I lick my lips, trying to come to terms with what I have to do.
“I can’t.” I shake my head. “I just can’t. Period.”
“But …” His face slowly turns darker and darker.
He and I both know what’s coming. It’s been hanging in the air for a long time.
Even though we like each other a lot, we aren’t right for each other.
We’re two people from two different worlds. Worlds that just don’t match, despite us trying so hard to fit them together. No amount of need or wantonness can make up for that.
We simply weren’t meant for each other.
“I can’t go with you, Brandon,” I say, swallowing away the lump in my throat. “But I won’t stop you either.”
I don’t wanna be the one to hold him back. Even though what he did was bad, criminal even, I don’t have it in my heart to rat him out. That’s not who I am or who I wanna be. His sin is his to carry. Still, the tears well up in my eyes.
“Wherever you’re going, I hope you’re happy there.”
“Don’t say that,” he says, biting his lip and shaking his head.
“You know I want the best for you,” I say as an icy draft flutters through the shed, making goose bumps scatter on my skin. Or maybe it’s the chilliness of this conversation.
“But you aren’t happy here,” he says, still trying to grasp at straws.
It’s too late. He’s already made his decision. And I just made mine.
“You know I’m right,” he says, frowning.
“I don’t care,” I say, willing the tears away. “I can’t just abandon them.”
“Why not?”
Just thinking about it makes me shudder. My dad … He’d literally kill me if he found me trying to run off. I’m pretty sure of it.
“You don’t know my dad like I do.”
“I’m not scared of him,” he says, straightening his back and trying to look tough.
But there’s no bonfire here, and no amount of fire would ever fend off my dad. Brandon’s no match for him.
“No, but I am …” I say, gazing down at my feet.
“Why?” He grabs my face again, tilting it up. “Has he hurt you?” He balls his fist, teeth clenched together, the look on his face reminding me of Rocky before he pounded the shit out of his opponent. “Tell me the truth.”
I suck on my bottom lip and shake my head.
I can’t ever let them fight. Ever. Even if I have to lie.
My dad would probably kill Brandon if he had the chance.
