“Shut the fuck up, Lawson!” Hutch snaps, and the forward has the brains to zip his lips and sit down.
I dare another glance at my teammates—the ones who haven’t cleared the room by now—and they all appear to be varying degrees of concerned. Lawson is worriedhe’snext in line. Hayes is trying to figure out how he’s going to pull Hutch off me. Fox is wishing we’d just hug. And Keller? Keller might look the worst of them all, and it’s probably because he knows he’s just as guilty as I am.
Okay, maybe notasguilty, but he’s been aware of this for months. He’s been lying too.
“Explain yourself,” Hutch barks at me.
“Can you let go of me?”
“No.”
I nod. “Fair enough.” I cough, trying to get some air. “I, uh, I met her in New York.”
“What? When? But the last time we were in New York, you already knew her.”
“It was last season.”
“Last season? How? I… Oh,fuck.” His eyes widen, and for the first time, he relents on his hold. His wheels are turning, and he’s not staring at me. No, he looks through me, going back to that night. “Vanessa was supposed to go to dinner with Auden, me, my mom, and her dad, but she decided not to. It was the day she got divorced. We figured she just needed her space, but…”
“She didn’t stay in her room,” I tell him. “She went to a bar, and it just happened to be the same bar I was at. I didn’t know, all right? I fucking swear to you, I didn’t know who she was. She was just a pretty girl in the bar, and I was feeling lonely as hell. All of you guys were partnering off, and I was just… I don’t know. I wanted to experiencesomething, even if just for a night.”
He shakes his head like he can’t believe the coincidence, and I want to tell him to join the club. It’s the exact same way I felt when I learned who Nessa was.
“Then she came to Seattle, and I was stunned,” I continue. “I couldn’t believe she was the same girl you told us about.”
“Because she’s not. I don’t know what happened, but she’s changed.”
He doesn’t know what happened? She got her heart stomped on, that’s what fucking happened, but I don’t get into that now. He needs to know the rest.
“We didn’t want to lie to you, Hutch. I swear. We just didn’t think it mattered. It was one night months prior, and that was it. It wasn’t supposed to be anything else. But she…”
I can’t help but grin thinking about Nessa, and apparently, it’s the wrong thing, because Hutch tightens his hold once more.
“She needed a place to stay,” I tell him. “She knew how you felt about her and that you wanted her out.”
“So, what? You just offer up your spare bedroom in hopes of getting lucky again?”
For the first time, I return fire and shove on Hutch, and he staggers back a bit. He can say what he wants about me, but he needs to keep Nessa out of this. She’s off the table.
“It wasn’t fucking like that.” I shove him again, and this time he lets me go. “I was trying tohelpher.”
Unlike yougoes unsaid, but Hutch hears it loud and clear. I suck in breaths of air, trying to get my bearings straight again, but Hutch just keeps going.
“So why not tell me? Why not just explain what happened if it was nothing?”
“Because it wasn’tnothing,” I say, pushing off the wall. “It was never nothing. Not back in New York and not fucking now.”
He stares at me, seething, literally flexing his hands at his sides as if he’s holding himself back from hitting me. I wish he would. I wish he’d take a swing at me. Anything to make me stop feeling like absolute shit right now, to stop seeing that untrusting look in his eyes. The last thing I wanted this seasonwas for us to be split up, so I worked my ass off to keep my position on this team.
Who would have thought it would be actions off the ice that would tear us apart anyway?
“Why her, Locke? She’s my sister.”
I laugh humorlessly. “Oh, sonowshe’s your sister? Before, she was yourstepsister or theevil stepsister. It’s pretty fucking convenient that when she does something you don’t like, she suddenly becomes your sister and you care about her.”
“Don’t fucking tell me what I do and don’t care about. I have always cared about her.”
“Yeah, well, you have a piss-poor way of showing it. She thinks you hate her.”
