“Anything for my favorite defenseman.” She throws me a wink before returning to her work, and I head toward where she directed me to go.
I settle into the back of the elevator as it takes me to the maternity floor, pulling my hat down low and pretending I don’t notice people tossing second glances my way. When the doors open and everyone else files out, I see her.
Nessa.
She’s sitting across the waiting room, her thumb in her mouth. She nibbles on her nails, clearly frazzled. Even in that state, I still want to cross the room and kiss her. I can’t, though. Not just because Hutch could come around the corner any moment, but because we’re just friends. That’s what we said. I can’t go back on that now, no matter how badly I want to.
I stand there staring at her for so long that the doors start to close again, and I barely catch them in time.
“Hey.”
She jumps at the simple word, and I hold my hands up.
“Sorry,” she mutters when she realizes it’s just me. “Sorry. It’s been a…day.”
I point to the empty chair beside her, and she nods.
“Thanks,” I say, settling into it. “How’s Auden?”
“A fucking trooper.” She winces. “I don’t know how she’s doing it. She was in so much pain from the contractions. I can’t imagine going through that.”
“No kids for you, then?”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean, I don’t know. I thought so with…” She sighs. “But now? I don’t know anymore. I guess if it happens, it happens.” She shrugs. “You?”
“Am I going to have a baby?”
She rolls her eyes. “Do you want kids?”
“Sure. Eventually.”
“Eventually?”
“After hockey,” I explain. “I’m not eager to drag them into this life. It’s hard, and I’ve seen firsthand the strain it puts on a marriage. I’ve watched a lot of teammates struggle through the years, so I promised myself a long time ago that if I ever settled down, it would be when I’m done with my career.”
“I can understand that. It’s a hard life. Why force a kid into it?”
“Exactly.”
A comfortable silence falls between us, and I let my eyes linger over her as she continues picking at her nails. Her hair is a bit wild, much less put together than it usually is. She’s not wearing a stitch of makeup, and I’m pretty sure the socks she’s wearing don’t match. She looks exhausted. Still absolutely gorgeous, but exhausted.
She reaches up, rubbing at her temples.
“You okay?” I ask softly, because I’m not so sure she is.
She startles at my question, then nods, but there’s no mistaking the weariness in her eyes.
“Yeah, sorry. Just got a bit of a headache.”
“Want me to find you something for it?” I ask, already halfway out of my seat.
She grabs my arm, stopping me. “No, stay.”
I drop back into the chair as her fingers burn their way into my skin, and fuck if I haven’t missed her touch. She yanks her hand away when she notices she’s been holding on to me longer than necessary, flitting her eyes away and looking anywhere but at me.
“Sorry,” she mutters again.
I shake my head. “Nothing to be sorry for. Are you sure I can’t get you anything? Not even a water?”
