There’s not much to notice.
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, Princess.”
“What’s your biggest life regret so far?” I ask him, holding the camera to my eye as I focus on the man in front of me.
Blake shifts in his seat on the ground and blows out a huff of air. “You sure know how to start a conversation, Jones.” He chuckles airily, looking everywhere but at the camera.
The fairy lights around the back of my room's wall twinkle in anticipation of what he’s going to say. I lean forward just a bit, in hopes of capturing his every breath on film.
“My biggest regret today is how I acted last year after my nana died.” He sighs, scratching the back of his neck.
Blake’s eyes wander around my room and I think he won’t elaborate but he turns back to me with a small watery smile.
“She passed away before I got the chance to apologize to her. We’d been on a winning streak and she was supposed to come to one of our games but didn’t make it. Hell, no one did if I'm being honest.” He chuckles dryly, his eyes lock with mine and I instantly want to turn off the camera.
His voice sounds so raw and unfiltered, completely contrasting from his flirty cocky persona that I’m constantly around. For some reason, I want to protect this version of him. I want to protect the Blake who sounds so hurt and ashamed of his own actions. I want to be there for him and I have no idea why.
“My dad wanted to be there but he and my mom were in Milan for my sister's show with Asteri. She was the opening model and Nana volunteered to be the family member that showed up for me. She forgot to set her alarm and I was so mad that I iced her out.” He shrugs, sniffling quietly.
“You don’t have to go on if you don’t feel comfortable–”
“No, I do… it’s fine. I’ve grown up since then.” He chuckles softly, interrupting me. “A few days after that, she died from a stroke. I was heartbroken, so I turned to alcohol and sex–I’m not proud of it. No. But, it was a rough time for…for me.” He sighs. And the sound of his voice cracking, chips away at my heart a bit.
I don’t push Blake to continue with his biggest regret, instead I watch him as he composes himself and masks his true feelings with a lopsided grin.
“I regret my actions before and after her death but I’m thankful for my friends and Coach. They helped me pick up my broken pieces.”
“Would you say that they’re your family as well?” I ask, holding the camera from my eye a bit as he gives me a small genuine smile.
“They’re like my brothers. I’m happy they saved me when I couldn’t save myself.”
We finished recording our first questions with him asking me something a little more tame along the lines of “Would I rather be a rock or a worm?” After filming, we decided that since it wasn’t too late and that we could watch a friendly movie.
I let Blake choose since he’s the "movie connoisseur" and he ended up picking a movie about a talking cat and car duo.
“You know Svetlana is a spy, right?” he asks, pointing at the purple car on the screen.
“I’m sorry, how are you a film major again? We’re watching a movie about a purple car named Svetlana and Cat called Mr. Giggles–”
“Don’t hate on greatness, Jones.” He tosses a small piece of popcorn my way. He’d been laying across our pink living room rug, while I took the couch. He'd said our couch was too small for all of his ‘manliness’ and decided to camp out on the ground.
I laugh as the popcorn hits my cheek. “I’m serious! Aren’t we supposed to be watching a Psychological Thriller or something?” I ask, cracking a smile as he rolls his eyes.
“Look at you feeding into stereotypes! Not all film majors are brooding dickheads. Some of uslikespending time watching cartoons.” He smiles wide at me as I’m now the one rolling my eyes.
The apartment alarm goes off signaling the front door opening, mine and Blake’s heads snap simultaneously to the front door as a grumpy pink-haired girl enters the house.
“I need a drink and some serious girl talk.” Sienna frowns, stalking towards the couch. She plops down on it and lays across my lap before pulling my hand into her hair, moving it to massage her curls.
“Long day?”
“That guy will be the death of me!” she exclaims, shooting up from my lap.
“Spill, girl!” Blake quips in a mock valley girl accent, I snort at his tone but Sienna ignores him and continues.
“He won’t freaking leave me alone! I’m a freaking dance teacher, not a mind reader. I love the kid, she’s amazing but him? He’ssoannoying. Why should I be the one to initiate a conversation with a parent? The parent should want to know about their kid. He should want to know how his daughter is doing in dance! Hell, he’s only ever picked her up from practice once, CJ!” She scoffs, running a shaky hand through her hair, clearly frustrated.
My heart hurts for Sienna as she groans. I can see her inner child hurting for the young girl in her dance class because, in a way, I think Sienna sees herself.
