He gets it. The Frathiks are using me to get what they want. He’s using me to get what he wants. Everyone is using everyone,all the time. I’m not stupid or naïve, just realistic. “I’m sure, over time, I’d be able to understand and forgive you. But it would be very, very hard to love you after that. So before you do it, I hope you’ll weigh what you want from me and whether you’ll get it.”
He tilts his head, considering. “So I’ll have your understanding and respect. Your forgiveness. Your body in my furs at night. It’s only love that you would withhold?”
I nod, feeling sick. I don’t like admitting my own weakness. I wish I were a better person. I wish I were like Ada. She’d give up anything to do what’s right. She’d fight her own impulses and let Lyro rot in a cell until the Hatching was done, just to be safe. Why can’t I?
He turns and strides toward the hatchery.
“Please don’t,” I beg, racing to catch up. I grab the edge of his cloak, but he pulls it sharply out of my grasp.
“I wasn’t going to, you little idiot. You’re the one who talked me into it.” His shoulders hunch forward, and the glimpse of his jaw inside his hood is clenched. He’s pissed off, but what’s new?
“I offended you.”
A noise rasps out of him, harsh and amused. “You could say that.”
“Because I think you’re ruthless enough to do it? I’m sorry. Everything I know about you...”
“Not that. If anything, that’s a compliment,” he says dryly. “I am offended that you think I will chase your favor like a piece of meat on a string, and you call it love. I have seen love, and that is not it.”
He’s seen love? A pang of jealousy squeezes my heart, even though I’m glad for him. Everyone should experience love. “Your concubine?”
He stills and gives a single shake of his head. “Not her. My father’s concubines. My mother and my brothers’ mothers who lived with him on the Eye. They gave up their freedom out oflove. For their sons, who they knew they’d probably never see again. And for my father, the male perhaps least capable of love himself. All his bad acts, and they still loved him. Stayed with him in the hope it would soften him, cure him. When love exists, it persists.”
He’s right. Fuck, he’s right. I’m not afraid that I won’t be able to love him if he slaughters my babies. I’m afraid that Iwill.
I slip my hand into his, and his fingers tighten around mine in surprise. “Come on. We’re already late.”
We don’t talk any more after that. He splits off from me to help check the eggs, and I’m too conscious of his presence as we work toward each other from opposite corners of the room. Will he or won’t he? It’s like there’s a rubber band tensioning between us, drawing us closer and closer. I can’t help but feeling like at some point, it’s going to snap.
We meet in the middle of a row, and I can barely look at him. “Thank you for not doing it,” I whisper.
He shrugs. “Maybe tomorrow.”
He leans up against the back wall and watches me sing from under the shadow of his hood. Today, he’s quiet, no questions or complaints. Somethinghaschanged about him, and I’m not sure what it is. He’s gentler, less angry. I’m no longer his enemy. I’m his...possession?
The way he handled me in the hall has me all mixed up. I shouldn’t like the things he said, but every time I replay the words, my pussy tingles and I trip over the song lyrics.
You belong to me. I will use you as I please.
My own private torture. By the time I wrap up my shift, my panties are soaked. I try to ignore it, but it doesn’t help that Lyro stands behind me, watching over my shoulder while I finish my quick paperwork on the tablet. His impatience is almost as heady as his threats and makes the back of my neck tingle.
We head for the hangar, and there’s slickness between my legs with every step. Part of me is grateful for the supervision of the Frathik mechanics who shoot us looks when we enter, some curious, others more suspicious.
My chair is still in the corner, but before I can settle in, Lyro asks casually, “Want to see inside?
My nipples prick to attention at the thought of being in close quarters with him. Is he going to collect on my time-debt? Demand some alien sexual favor? “Uh...I don’t know how much help I’d be.”
“Come inside, Lena,” he orders, opening the main hatch, and I trip after him like a little puppy, unable to resist. I expect him to attack me as soon as the door closes behind me, pounce on me like a predator. Iwanthim to. I brace for it, letting my lids fall shut. Letting it happen.
But it doesn’t. Nothing happens.
I open my eyes again, and he’s got his head in a cupboard, rummaging around inside and pulling out tools, although they’re not quite like any tools I recognize from Earth. He slams the cupboard door shut and gathers them up, jerking his head at me to follow him.
He wants to fix his ship more than he wants me, I guess. I give a shaky, relieved laugh at my own assumptions. Just because I have a weakness for him doesn’t mean he’s going to exploit it. Just because I owe him doesn’t mean I owe himthat.
I can see why he’s anxious to get started on the work. The inside of the ship is a mess, especially in the front. There’s shattered glass and twisted pieces of metal and scorch marks everywhere. Screens are cracked and wires hang out of melted panels. It doesn’t look fixable to me.
“You might need to trade this in for a new one,” I joke. He levels a look at me, one that says he doesn’t find this to be a joking matter. I grimace. “Sorry, I just don’t know how to help.”
